Hello,I am Debra and have ptsd.It was 3 years ago after I came out as a transgender woman,my mom whom has been in and out of my life verbally and physically abused me.She put me through a lot all my life,I remember times she would smack me side of my head being cruel to me as a kid.It hurt a lot,good thing my dad noticed it and did get me out of that living with him when I was 13.Good thing is my dad has been there for me including when I went through my transition.Mom was getting harsh on me within two months into my transition calling me offensive words.Had to put her in jail twice,assaulted me.After that happened,my dad noticed something was wrong and we had a talk.Told him I couldn't sleep having the nightmares from the abuse my mom put me through.It was even from my co workers noticing it too.It was during my 3rd month of my transition,I was finally diagnosed with PTSD.I have my hard and easy times still keeping it under control.I live a happy life as my true self and also have support from my boyfriend Nicholas whom has been great knowing I have PTSD
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Sufferer Abused By Mom & Assaulted After Coming Out As Transgender
- Post starter DebraM
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Movingforward10
VIP Member
Sorry you have been through this and sorry your mum behaved like that and is missing out on having a relationship with you.
Great your Dad supports you and gets you. And your boyfriend.
Welcome to the forum!
Great your Dad supports you and gets you. And your boyfriend.
Welcome to the forum!
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- #3
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- #7
Survivor3
VIP Member
It sounds like your mum is the one with the problem.
- Post starter
- #9
Yes,she does not love and accept for who I am now.
Survivor3
VIP Member
That's her problem not yours. Live your life to the fullest.
Friday
Sponsor
Welcome to the community :)
If you haven’t found it, yet... you may be interested in the Queer, Questioning, Trans, & Trauma Group we have here > Link Removed
Like most of the private or semi-private groups, there needs to be an established posting history on the main forums before membership requests are approved... all that info and more laid out in the about group page... but as something to keep in mind, if you find the site useful & stick around for a spell.
If you haven’t found it, yet... you may be interested in the Queer, Questioning, Trans, & Trauma Group we have here > Link Removed
Like most of the private or semi-private groups, there needs to be an established posting history on the main forums before membership requests are approved... all that info and more laid out in the about group page... but as something to keep in mind, if you find the site useful & stick around for a spell.
It appears that your mother has the problem in this situation. From what you have written, she seems to have only been involved in your younger years when it suited her.
Your main goal in life from now on, will be to focus on your transition/reassignment treatment - as that will be an emotional journey in itself.
You have the support of your father and your boyfriend. During this time of your life, their support will be beneficial to you and it's a positive situation knowing - in yourself - that you are finding your own true identity.
However. It is very important to recognise your PTSD diagnosis and the issues concerning your mother. Your transition journey will benefit from the support of your family, friends, work colleagues and - above all else - yourself.
PTSD in itself will create a challenge. It is important to undergo and continue regular counselling/therapy in order to explore and understand the issues of your life so far. This will also help you to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of your transition.
Although you know in yourself that this change in your life will enable you to realise and fulfill your true life's ambition, it is still a big change. Regular counselling will enable you to ensure your mental health stays in control whilst you undergo your transition.
One thing for certain. Your mother hasn't helped.
You say that your mother has been 'in and out' of your life. The questions....Especially now that you are older....Do you want your mother in your life?.....And....Does Mom want to be in your life?
All the good, positive work you have put into going through your transition and getting your life sorted out could be put in jeopardy because of your mother's behaviour. This will need to be addressed as soon as possible.
From what you have written, your mother appears to be at least one main reason for your PTSD.
Counselling will help you to deal with the condition and understand the trauma that your mother caused (or at least contributed).
Depending on how you feel about your mother being in your life, you will need to decide how far you want to go with it. For example. Do you tell her not to see you again? Do you cut her out of your life completely?
After what she has put you through, it will be understandable - as you don't need this in your life right now.
On the other hand. Your mother may have a weird way of showing it, but she may still want to be a part of your life. Even after all these years, she just can't seem to get it right.
Perhaps Mom wishes she could be a part of your life and can't express this.
Should your mother want to be an important role in your life - and make amends for her previous mistakes, then she will need to change her lifelong ways.
That's a decision for you both to work out together.
Your mother has behaved the way she has because of her own life issues. It appears that she has more than expressed her anger, frustration or whatever upon you.
If you and your mother are to have a positive adult relationship, then your mother will need to seek professional help in order to understand her own life journey. Your mother's behaviour towards you is unacceptable and the time has come for her to change her ways.
This will need to be a condition that will be the basis of her being a part - and sharing the rewards - of your life.
You have had to make important decisions that will shape your life in future years. You have the support of your boyfriend and father.
There may only be a slim chance. However. You could have the support of your mother if she will accept her past mistakes and make some important life changes herself.
Your main goal in life from now on, will be to focus on your transition/reassignment treatment - as that will be an emotional journey in itself.
You have the support of your father and your boyfriend. During this time of your life, their support will be beneficial to you and it's a positive situation knowing - in yourself - that you are finding your own true identity.
However. It is very important to recognise your PTSD diagnosis and the issues concerning your mother. Your transition journey will benefit from the support of your family, friends, work colleagues and - above all else - yourself.
PTSD in itself will create a challenge. It is important to undergo and continue regular counselling/therapy in order to explore and understand the issues of your life so far. This will also help you to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of your transition.
Although you know in yourself that this change in your life will enable you to realise and fulfill your true life's ambition, it is still a big change. Regular counselling will enable you to ensure your mental health stays in control whilst you undergo your transition.
One thing for certain. Your mother hasn't helped.
You say that your mother has been 'in and out' of your life. The questions....Especially now that you are older....Do you want your mother in your life?.....And....Does Mom want to be in your life?
All the good, positive work you have put into going through your transition and getting your life sorted out could be put in jeopardy because of your mother's behaviour. This will need to be addressed as soon as possible.
From what you have written, your mother appears to be at least one main reason for your PTSD.
Counselling will help you to deal with the condition and understand the trauma that your mother caused (or at least contributed).
Depending on how you feel about your mother being in your life, you will need to decide how far you want to go with it. For example. Do you tell her not to see you again? Do you cut her out of your life completely?
After what she has put you through, it will be understandable - as you don't need this in your life right now.
On the other hand. Your mother may have a weird way of showing it, but she may still want to be a part of your life. Even after all these years, she just can't seem to get it right.
Perhaps Mom wishes she could be a part of your life and can't express this.
Should your mother want to be an important role in your life - and make amends for her previous mistakes, then she will need to change her lifelong ways.
That's a decision for you both to work out together.
Your mother has behaved the way she has because of her own life issues. It appears that she has more than expressed her anger, frustration or whatever upon you.
If you and your mother are to have a positive adult relationship, then your mother will need to seek professional help in order to understand her own life journey. Your mother's behaviour towards you is unacceptable and the time has come for her to change her ways.
This will need to be a condition that will be the basis of her being a part - and sharing the rewards - of your life.
You have had to make important decisions that will shape your life in future years. You have the support of your boyfriend and father.
There may only be a slim chance. However. You could have the support of your mother if she will accept her past mistakes and make some important life changes herself.
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