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Even professionals struggle to help

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@AJ45 - I'm really sorry to read that you're in so much pain. I recognize that feeling you're talking about, of not knowing what to do anymore when it looks like everything has failed and there aren't options.

Can you remind me - what's the trauma that led to your PTSD?

And how is your physical health, generally - like, in addition to the PTSD, are there other health things you're having to manage?
Hey JL.
Led to ptsd abused in process of being adopted, abusive physically/emotionally adoptive parents, sexual assaults growing up and being sold for sex by female cheer coach

Physical health isnt best joint issues overactive thyroid eating disorder....anxiety literally makes me sick GERD body aches/ pain. Excruciating periods
 
Hey JL.
Led to ptsd abused in process of being adopted, abusive physically/emotionally adoptive parents, sexual assaults growing up and being sold for sex by female cheer coach

Physical health isnt best joint issues overactive thyroid eating disorder....anxiety literally makes me sick GERD body aches/ pain. Excruciating periods

It doesnt help that my bio mom lost her fight and more recently like 1.5 weeks ago step brother(werent super close or anything) lost his fight too they found him in a parking lot OD

It just seems like if you add everything up my fight is futile. Defeated
 
I'm so sorry @AJ45 . I'm sorry about what you've been through; how you are feeling now and the recent losses of bio mum and step brother
Do you think the recent losses of bio mum and step brother are impacting on your current mental health and outlook?
It sounds so many things to juggle, think about, deal with. All at once.

But you also sound a strong resilient person. It sounds like there is fight in you. Fight to overcome SH or SI. Fight to overcome these feelings. Fight to be heard and understood and supported by doctors.

Do your doctors know about bio mum and step brother?

Your words hold power. Look at how much your words have garnered all this support from all these members. Your voice and your words are doing this. All self care that you have started.
 
I'm so sorry @AJ45 . I'm sorry about what you've been through; how you are feeling now and the recent losses of bio mum and step brother
Do you think the recent losses of bio mum and step brother are impacting on your current mental health and outlook?
It sounds so many things to juggle, think about, deal with. All at once.

But you also sound a strong resilient person. It sounds like there is fight in you. Fight to overcome SH or SI. Fight to overcome these feelings. Fight to be heard and understood and supported by doctors.

Do your doctors know about bio mum and step brother?

Your words hold power. Look at how much your words have garnered all this support from all these members. Your voice and your words are doing this. All self care that you have started.
Your words are amazing. And they know bio mom was bipolar and had lupus dont really share she killed self. As for step bro no. My brain thinks hospital to stay alive yet not good. Hospital horrible.
 
Your words are amazing. And they know bio mom was bipolar and had lupus dont really share she killed self. As for step bro no. My brain thinks hospital to stay alive yet not good. Hospital horrible.
Is telling your doctors about this something that will help?
The fact you're thinking about a hospital stay even though you find that so hard, shows you are showing yourself self care. If it helps with staying alive, and if it is what you decide you need: then that has got to be positive?
 
Is telling your doctors about this something that will help?
The fact you're thinking about a hospital stay even though you find that so hard, shows you are showing yourself self care. If it helps with staying alive, and if it is what you decide you need: then that has got to be positive?
Idk. And wow i never thought of going to hospital as self care
❤ and yes i guess pos
 
It's super much of self care and you definitely deserve life and a good life and the most self care you can get.

I'm sorry for your losses.
Maybe I'd look for a grief counselor too or clergy if you are spiritual / religious to help thru with all that, as that is so much to take in.

Like that would tire anyone. It's okay you're bit out of breath.

Think hospitals could help out with that as give you at least some space and time out from so much stress. It's a brave thing to consider admission. :tup:
 
It's super much of self care and you definitely deserve life and a good life and the most self care you can get.

I'm sorry for your losses.
Maybe I'd look for a grief counselor too or clergy if you are spiritual / religious to help thru with all that, as that is so much to take in.

Like that would tire anyone. It's okay you're bit out of breath.

Think hospitals could help out with that as give you at least some space and time out from so much stress. It's a brave thing to consider admission. :tup:
Ronin your amazing your words are comforting. Make me feel a little more normal for "going whacko" and instead of trying to keep pushing through(which will get me no more) and stay "strong" to just let go and go to hospital for even just a few days...but at same time terrified as last 2 times were bad and with covid in CA agoraphobia is even worse dont know if i could be in place again with strangers and germs etc and there is no guarantee brain wont go into pretend everything is ok and get the hell out ASAP :/.
 
Well if there germs it's the *best* place to be tho, nah? Because if you or anyone else collapses on somebody there's a quick reach to help :sneaky:

Besides you said it yourself, it's just a coupla days, you'll be out of there even without trying pretty fast, and get a chance to grab a few cool tricks to hold yourself up better the next time. ;)

And it ain't like you are "whacko", you a pretty strong woman, and waay stronger than me, I chicken out at even mentions of hospitals where you check 'em out. Respect.
 
@AJ45 - I'm glad you're hearing what @Movingforward10 and @Ronin are saying. They said it all way better than I could :)

Since you're in CA - no idea if you're near Stanford University, but they have a fantastic department of psychiatry/behavioral sciences. Outpatient programs, research, just a lot of stuff.

But even if that's nothing you want to pursue, I really want to echo this:
Think hospitals could help out with that as give you at least some space and time out from so much stress. It's a brave thing to consider admission.
My first psychiatrist used to remind me about this all the time. That what a short inpatient stay can give you is a chance to catch a breath, not have to manage daily life for a little bit. It's not necessarily going to suddenly make it all better - but that sometimes what we just need is a rest, to gather our strength. You ARE strong. And you're surviving some incredibly difficult stuff.
 
Well if there germs it's the *best* place to be tho, nah? Because if you or anyone else collapses on somebody there's a quick reach to help :sneaky:

Besides you said it yourself, it's just a coupla days, you'll be out of there even without trying pretty fast, and get a chance to grab a few cool tricks to hold yourself up better the next time. ;)

And it ain't like you are "whacko", you a pretty strong woman, and waay stronger than me, I chicken out at even mentions of hospitals where you check 'em out. Respect.
All good points. Why do you chicken?
 
@AJ45 - I'm glad you're hearing what @Movingforward10 and @Ronin are saying. They said it all way better than I could :)

Since you're in CA - no idea if you're near Stanford University, but they have a fantastic department of psychiatry/behavioral sciences. Outpatient programs, research, just a lot of stuff.

But even if that's nothing you want to pursue, I really want to echo this:My first psychiatrist used to remind me about this all the time. That what a short inpatient stay can give you is a chance to catch a breath, not have to manage daily life for a little bit. It's not necessarily going to suddenly make it all better - but that sometimes what we just need is a rest, to gather our strength. You ARE strong. And you're surviving some incredibly difficult stuff.
Brain thinks that sounds so nice also brain thinks want to be SO DONE
 
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