spinninghaze
New Here
Hello! I'm a twenty year old with diagnosed CPTSD. My therapist and I have acknowledged the fact that chunks of my memories frequently go missing. Sometimes, I remember my childhood in vivid detail, and others, I can't recall a thing. Sometimes, the memory issues leak into daily life and I can't recall anything that has happened earlier that morning.
This has started to become a bit of an issue in my journey of growth, because I get these really depressive moods where I border on suicidal. Then, the next minute, I'm fine and the memories are all fuzzy. My therapist has been asking how I've been doing, and I've been saying that I've been alright because I can't remember not being alright even though I know that a few days ago, I was incredibly depressed. She wants to know where I want to go in my therapy, and frankly, I don't know because I can't remember what triggers or brings on these moods. I feel at a bit of a loss, and it feels like the past few sessions have been empty, neither of us fully sure what the root of the issue is.
Has anyone had any experiences with this? Any advice to start to remembering? Or any idea what could be the root of this issue? I feel so stuck because I've tried writing down in the moment, but it's too hard when I'm in these states.
This has started to become a bit of an issue in my journey of growth, because I get these really depressive moods where I border on suicidal. Then, the next minute, I'm fine and the memories are all fuzzy. My therapist has been asking how I've been doing, and I've been saying that I've been alright because I can't remember not being alright even though I know that a few days ago, I was incredibly depressed. She wants to know where I want to go in my therapy, and frankly, I don't know because I can't remember what triggers or brings on these moods. I feel at a bit of a loss, and it feels like the past few sessions have been empty, neither of us fully sure what the root of the issue is.
Has anyone had any experiences with this? Any advice to start to remembering? Or any idea what could be the root of this issue? I feel so stuck because I've tried writing down in the moment, but it's too hard when I'm in these states.