Projecting fear onto those closest to you

[ColinKevin]

Is this a common cognitive distortion, to continue to feel fear despite working really hard in therapy? I'd welcome your wise words and/or successes at managing to reduce undue fear or consign it to the past where it belonged?
I am a supporter.

 

[arfie]

it is normal-for-me. so much so that radical acceptance, awareness and calming exercises are the only psychotherapy tools which have managed to make a dent in the phenom. habits formed during those formative years are especially hard to break.

my husband helps me best by detaching far enough that i cannot hurt him during these episodes. hurting the love of my life during my psychotic episodes is on the top of my list of things i hate about ptsd. i have advanced far enough that i can often tell by his reaction that i am doing it again, but he lets me trust my therapy network for working it out. spouses make notoriously lousy therapists, even when they are fully qualified to treat john q. public.

 

[ColinKevin]

Thank you for your reply. And for sharing what your experience is. Psychotic episodes must be difficult for both you and your husband glad you have found a way to manage the impact of them.

 

[EveHarrington]

It’s possible to work very hard in therapy and on healing but still have fears that won’t go away. Some fears are indeed hard to crack. I don’t want to make you feel hopeless, rather I want to give a more accurate picture as to how hard healing can be for some of us. Of course, other fears can be worked on more easily.

 

[Movingforward10]

Totally. It's a real mind mess, as the feelings are real but the situation that caused them isn't. So so so hard to get that separation when you're full of fear. But it really helps me to remember that and ground myself in the now.
Writing things down helps me. Writing down my feelings. Trying to separate it out.
Speaking to myself helps me. Hearing adult men's voice, as opposed to a child me. Brings me to the here and now.
And stroking my arm or something. Reminds me I am here.
It's about building in what works.

 

[Renly]

EMDR has helped me the most in lessening the big over-reactions to small present day triggers. It really helps put the past to rest.

 

[ColinKevin]

This is really helpful to hear, even the fact some fear may not be alleviated. Your lived experiences are hugely informative. Thank you so much.

 

[ColinKevin]

EMDR has helped me the most in lessening the big over-reactions to small present day triggers. It really helps put the past to rest.

EMDR has both increased the fear, and in turn intolerance of the fear due to recognising it is misplaced but remains present. My partner has recently found a new and very effective EMDR practitioner, and feels that the therapy is going much, much deeper than previously and is more painful yet more productive. I am in awe of the work they are doing to feel better, literally. You all are incredible.

 

[Freddyt]

EMDR has both increased the fear, and in turn intolerance of the fear due to recognising it is misplaced but remains present.

....because it increases your baseline anxiety.

The big thinky part at the front of your brain that deals with complex emotions etc. doesn't work right with PTSD. Every thing comes in through the part that determines the level of fear to assign everything based on how much of a threat it is.

Two things that help. Give yourself space to think critically. Is the fear real, or is it a result of stress and anxiety? It takes time to sort it out. Second - managing that stress and anxiety and understanding the stress cup. When you understand that all stress is stress and that you need to manage stress always, you start getting better at not reacting out of fear and anxiety.

The ptsd cup explanation

Nearly a decade ago (2006) I wrote The PTSD Cup Explanation, a simple view of how PTSD causes symptoms in day-to-day life. This article is an update to that original piece. Regardless of the type of trauma endured, the PTSD Cup does not change, deviate or apply differently to your circumstance...

www.myptsd.com

 

[ColinKevin]

....because it increases your baseline anxiety.

The big thinky part at the front of your brain that deals with complex emotions etc. doesn't work right with PTSD. Every thing comes in through the part that determines the level of fear to assign everything based on how much of a threat it is.

Two things that help. Give yourself space to think critically. Is the fear real, or is it a result of stress and anxiety? It takes time to sort it out. Second - managing that stress and anxiety and understanding the stress cup. When you understand that all stress is stress and that you need to manage stress always, you start getting better at not reacting out of fear and anxiety.

The ptsd cup explanation

Nearly a decade ago (2006) I wrote The PTSD Cup Explanation, a simple view of how PTSD causes symptoms in day-to-day life. This article is an update to that original piece. Regardless of the type of trauma endured, the PTSD Cup does not change, deviate or apply differently to your circumstance...

www.myptsd.com

Thanks. I read the Stress Cup explanation a little while ago and it was really helpful. Love the description of the Big Thinky part of the brain: the Broca Area goes "off line" my partner says and they cannot find words.

 

[Weemie]

I carefully curate the people I expose myself to in order to limit the amount of distress I feel. That means the bulk of my socialization happens online where I can choose to disengage at any moment && where if I have a big emotional reaction I can regulate it privately without being seen by others. I am working on being able to go outside more with my mom! I have an extreme fear of dogs so it is very hard to walk outside as people will walk their dogs && sometimes I scream and cry involuntarily.

 

[Freddyt]

Thanks. I read the Stress Cup explanation a little while ago and it was really helpful. Love the description of the Big Thinky part of the brain: the Broca Area goes "off line" my partner says and they cannot find words.

Yeah, that's part of where everyone gets their "own special brand" of symptoms. Lots of times the same bits are affected and its always fun to find out "oh hey thats part of your PTSD". I keep saying it should be called "the hiding disorder" because of how its hides so many symptoms from people who have it. The longer I do therapy the more I go, oh hey I do have that symptom, it just got lost in the memory fog of PTSD.....