EMDR side effects?

[lisa67]

I'm on my 6th session of EMDR for CPTSD. I wish I'd never started tbh. I feel so much worse. I couldn't find anything much on Google about side effects so I thought I'd be ok. I have become so much more emotionally disregulated, I feel physically cold and very sleepy during and after a session and I feel so depressed about everything which is not how I was before I started. I wake up in the night now with terrible night sweats and I spend my waking hours thinking about worse case scenarios of situations that could happen in my life and the horrible thing is my body experiences it as if it's happening. I feel like I've lost myself and I can't get back to how I was before therapy. I'm lost.

 

[Friday]

The good news / bad news is that ALL trauma therapy = things will get worse, before they get better.

Unlike conventional therapy for normal life problems, where people feel better and better from day one? (Like going to the doctor when you’re sick and coming away with meds & methods to immediately start feeling better.)

TRAUMA Therapy is like having reconstructive surgery to fix a badly healed bone, or ripped up muscles, severe burns, etc . Able to limp into the office, in minimal pain… but confined to a wheelchair in tremendous pain after the surgery, then going to physical therapy for months in very high and ongoing levels of pain, carefully monitored and planned out (wheelchair, crutches, cane, walking, running). So it’s worse during the reconstruction & rehab, but infinitely better than starting out at the end.

That said? Because it IS going to get worse, before it gets better… three of the foundations of trauma therapy are

- Stabilization (making sure you & your life can handle massive upticks in symptoms)
- Tools / Techniques / Methods / Coping Mechanisms being both solidly taught & strongly present/practiced to handle those symptom spikes as they come.
- Pacing tailored to each patient, so they’re never pushed too far too fast, risking rapid decompensation (losing your effing mind) & suicide.

^^^ All of which means it’s VITAL that you’re completely honest with how bad “worse” is with your therapist. It is supposed to and expected to be getting worse, but a lot of clients think they’re somehow failing or in the wrong and try to “hide” how bad things are… instead of getting the best of bespoke support, and allowing the therapist to actually do their job, by collaborating in their own treatment.

 

[Freddyt]

The good news / bad news is that ALL trauma therapy = things will get worse, before they get better.

Damn strait it will.

One of the worst side effects is rumination.

You need to make the box stronger so stuff stays locked up between sessions first. Then make a plan and learn how to stop rumination. Rumination is like a tornado that sucks you in and endlessly recycles the same thoughts swirling them around and coming up with worst case scenarios.

Find things that take up your thoughts - reading, drawing, music, gardening, whatever takes up your attention and stops that spin cycle......

 

[Amiga]

The good news / bad news is that ALL trauma therapy = things will get worse, before they get better.

Unlike conventional therapy for normal life problems, where people feel better and better from day one? (Like going to the doctor when you’re sick and coming away with meds & methods to immediately start feeling better.)

TRAUMA Therapy is like having reconstructive surgery to fix a badly healed bone, or ripped up muscles, severe burns, etc . Able to limp into the office, in minimal pain… but confined to a wheelchair in tremendous pain after the surgery, then going to physical therapy for months in very high and ongoing levels of pain, carefully monitored and planned out (wheelchair, crutches, cane, walking, running). So it’s worse during the reconstruction & rehab, but infinitely better than starting out at the end.

That said? Because it IS going to get worse, before it gets better… three of the foundations of trauma therapy are

- Stabilization (making sure you & your life can handle massive upticks in symptoms)
- Tools / Techniques / Methods / Coping Mechanisms being both solidly taught & strongly present/practiced to handle those symptom spikes as they come.
- Pacing tailored to each patient, so they’re never pushed too far too fast, risking rapid decompensation (losing your effing mind) & suicide.

^^^ All of which means it’s VITAL that you’re completely honest with how bad “worse” is with your therapist. It is supposed to and expected to be getting worse, but a lot of clients think they’re somehow failing or in the wrong and try to “hide” how bad things are… instead of getting the best of bespoke support, and allowing the therapist to actually do their job, by collaborating in their own treatment.

Interesting. Mine has been flooding with trigger in every arena and just about everyday for 4 years with no safe space and threatened at the place of coping. It has been terrorizing and I didn't sign up for any of it. It is the original abuse and more. It isn't funny. I wouldn't tell a soul if I were ready to jump. Not at this point. I'm not allowed to even say a bad word about the man who sexually assaulted me. I get immediate retaliation. I'm so done with all of it. Never tell anyone what stirs you. In my case they did it more and asked, " how do you handle frustration". I endured a sociopath, a psychological manipulator,abortion, sexual assault an attempt, moved 8 times, told I was the crazy one that hurt people, was hacked and obviously stalked, had someone in my home when I wasn't. It is all very real with even third parties backing me...alarm co, etc. And I get buried in trigger and taunt for 4 freaking years. It is abuse. ABUSE.

 

[joeylittle]

It has been terrorizing and I didn't sign up for any of it. It is the original abuse and more.

Are you talking about EMDR therapy?

 

[Amiga]

Are you talking about EMDR therapy?

No. I was given full on extreme exposure therapy by abuse not selected. I have done emdr twice. I am on board again to try it to rid my brain of the harshness of some of the horrible flashes. I actually find the back and forth movement ( like watching tennis or a clock pendulum) to cause me to relax. I am hopeful. Grounding techniques have not been so effective... obviously because I'm living crap as exposure ( gotta love those who think you deserve hell...lol..abusers are so very proud of themselves). How long does it take before emdr lessens any given memory?

There has been no pacing. I was buried in trigger. Bombardment to the point I can't even digest a piece of chicken I'm so sick. They thought they were helping.

 

[joeylittle]

Ah, I understand - thanks for clarifying, @Amiga.

How long does it take before emdr lessens any given memory?

I think there are too many variables to give any accurate estimate...some people find that it can work extremely quickly. If you're dealing with multiple severe traumas, it can be a longer process.

 

[Freida]

emdr sucks. It is brutal and awful and horrible. It usually wipes me out for 24 hours.
But.
When it works it is AMAZING. That thing that is crushing your soul, that happened in the past, that brings on the nightmares? Suddenly it is just... gone. You still remember it, but the feelings that used to be attached to it are gone. It becomes a sad event in your past that can stay there --- in the past

@Friday is right about keeping your t updated, because she can change the pace or timing or even move to less threatening memories. One big thing that can help is to crate a "safe space" that you can retreat to in your head when you get overwhelmed. A lot of ts do that first, before they even start the process. So if you don't have that yet make sure to ask.

Dont be afraid to talk about how it's derailing you -- that's expected. But the amount of derailing can be controlled or slowed down.

 

[Friday]

keeping your t updated, because she can change the pace or timing or even move to less threatening memories. One big thing that can help is to crate a "safe space" that you can retreat to in your head when you get overwhelmed. A lot of ts do that first, before they even start the process. So if you don't have that yet make sure to ask.

Dont be afraid to talk about how it's derailing you -- that's expected. But the amount of derailing can be controlled or slowed down.

I just want to underline/underscore ^^^this^^^

Good therapy is a team effort.

A collaborative/good working relationship with a good therapist? Is the bare minimum to expect/require of anyone you choose to work with.

It is very common for people to have to go through several therapists before they find one that is a “good fit”. Do not accept anything less.

No. I was given full on extreme exposure therapy by abuse not selected.

That’s not exposure therapy. That’s new trauma.

 

[Charbella]

I agree with everything @Freida and @Friday have said.

One thing to add to Freida’s comment that she encouraged me to do was once the Safe Space is created then my T stops EMDR before the sessions ends and encourages me (stubborn, willful party of 1 ) to spend some time in Safe Space before going home to my thoughts. When stubborn, willful, angry me isn’t front and center I find this to be very helpful. I’ve also found if I can make myself do things with friends I can lessen the effects of EMDR. Not saying I find either of these things easy to do, just saying they’re helpful when I do.

My other best tool is what @Freddyt said about the box. Hopefully your T really reinforced that idea before starting EMDR. Because for me there are days when driving to work I am visualizing a new box because the current one is leaking. I tried a sphere once because there were no corners for leaks.

 

[Freddyt]

Because for me there are days when driving to work I am visualizing a new box because the current one is leaking. I tried a sphere once because there were no corners for leaks.

Yup.......its tough to do but when things go a little sideways - you will be thankfull.

The single hardest part? Was learning when reprocessing was done.......because piling up reprocessing jobs just leaves you no room to function....

 

[lisa67]

Yup.......its tough to do but when things go a little sideways - you will be thankfull.

The single hardest part? Was learning when reprocessing was done.......because piling up reprocessing jobs just leaves you no room to function....

I will have to talk to my t about knowing when the reprocessing is done and how to manage it more effectively. I've 2 children on the Autistic Spectrum so as you can imagine life is full on 24/7.