Delayed emotional response?

[Compass307]

My therapist moved away several years ago. At the time I didn’t address my feelings around it at all. It was a crazy period of time and we stayed connected online and life moved on. Recently, a part of me is really struggling with trust and I don’t know if it’s crazy for me to bring this up or just help this part of myself move forward alone. Appreciate any insight or similar experiences!

 

[Midnightmoon]

Bring it up to a new T, or bring it up to old T that moved?

Definitely not crazy, burying feelings is like trauma 101! (I became wheelchair dependant 5 years ago. When it happened, I was very stoic but these years later I'm finally unlocking some of the grief.)

 

[Sideways]

Recently, a part of me is really struggling with trust and I don’t know if it’s crazy for me to bring this up or just help this part of myself move forward alone.

Is there something that you think may have triggered this to come up now? Something from another relationship?

Or maybe it’s safe to feel that grief now, if only because of the time that has passed?

Definitely think it’s worth bringing up. Grief lets us know that we’ve lost someone important to us, and in its own way, makes us value our relationships and enjoy what they bring to our lives. It’s difficult to see value in relationships that we wouldn’t grieve over if we lost them.

It would be really good to know that you can feel that grief when it happens, rather than needing to hide it from yourself. What other emotions do you not allow yourself to feel?

 

[arfie]

hello ani. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

I don’t know if it’s crazy for me to bring this up or just help this part of myself move forward alone.

in my own recovery, the crazy part of this statement is thinking i CAN move forward alone. the cocktail of my massive trust issues and advanced wilderness survival skills have made it possible for me to try and? ? ? as much as i hate to claim my species nature, humans are a gregarious species. people need people. even me. does i really have to be one of those stinky, destructive beasts? where's my loophole?

sigh. . . life is as life is and not as i would have it.

delayed or current, emotions go where they go, ani. i don't believe emotions are logical enough to be crazy or sane. they just are. my heavily theraputed response to them is acceptance and awareness. i go where they take me and process as i go. they very often take me to a part of myself i need to learn more about.

 

[Compass307]

Bring it up to a new T, or bring it up to old T that moved?

Definitely not crazy, burying feelings is like trauma 101! (I became wheelchair dependant 5 years ago. When it happened, I was very stoic but these years later I'm finally unlocking some of the grief.)

It would be with the same therapist. We are still working together— less frequently but nothing really changed. It was covid days so we were using telehealth so things kind of continued on from there. But, recently I’ve been struggling with trust (trusting myself/others in my life). And it’s like a whole part of me has been containing these feelings and I can’t silence them anymore.

 

[Compass307]

hello ani. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

in my own recovery, the crazy part of this statement is thinking i CAN move forward alone. the cocktail of my massive trust issues and advanced wilderness survival skills have made it possible for me to try and? ? ? as much as i hate to claim my species nature, humans are a gregarious species. people need people. even me. does i really have to be one of those stinky, destructive beasts? where's my loophole?

sigh. . . life is as life is and not as i would have it.

delayed or current, emotions go where they go, ani. i don't believe emotions are logical enough to be crazy or sane. they just are. my heavily theraputed response to them is acceptance and awareness. i go where they take me and process as i go. they very often take me to a part of myself i need to learn more about.

So helpful and validating. Thank you!

 

[Compass307]

Is there something that you think may have triggered this to come up now? Something from another relationship?

Or maybe it’s safe to feel that grief now, if only because of the time that has passed?

Definitely think it’s worth bringing up. Grief lets us know that we’ve lost someone important to us, and in its own way, makes us value our relationships and enjoy what they bring to our lives. It’s difficult to see value in relationships that we wouldn’t grieve over if we lost them.

It would be really good to know that you can feel that grief when it happens, rather than needing to hide it from yourself. What other emotions do you not allow yourself to feel?

I struggle with dissociation. So I don’t often allow myself to feel… anything. But you make great points and I feel encouraged by the idea of feeling when I need to instead of hiding it. It’s a challenge for sure!

 

[Midnightmoon]

It would be with the same therapist. We are still working together— less frequently but nothing really changed. It was covid days so we were using telehealth so things kind of continued on from there. But, recently I’ve been struggling with trust (trusting myself/others in my life). And it’s like a whole part of me has been containing these feelings and I can’t silence them anymore.

Ah I see sorry I misread the initial post. In that case 100% yes to bringing up if you feel able to communicate it. The fact is become so present in your life at the min seems like it maybe feels safe for your brain to be able to go there now, where as perhaps before for whatever reason it wasn't the right time or too close.

 

[Compass307]

I thank you all very much :) this has been very helpful.