All Day Confusion

[DogTired]

After a full night's (6 hours) black sleep, i.e. no dreams, or nightmares.
Me waking up slowly in my own time, nice breakfast, then into town. WHAM!
Switch thrown, there was no way I could remember anything including SWMBO's name!
Every decision needing thinking about I couldn't easily complete,
Add I lost my way trying to get out a one door in/ one door out shop.
By now I was well confused and getting angry with myself.
4 hours passed then clarity has resumed.
Anyone have any thoughts about WTH is going on?

 

[Friday]

One of the biggest problems with flashbacks, IME/IMO, is that if the people with me NOW aren’t with me THEN? IDFK who they are. Because my head is in the past, not the present.

Conversely?

I’ve dated a helluva lotta combat vets whom I end up smacking the shit out of them (wake..the f*ck… UP!) because they have me pinned to a wall, or whatever, because I surprised them. And? I’m “new”. I don’t exist in the past they’re reliving, so I’m a threat/enemy. It’s only the training to target ID that has really kept me alive. As I don’t fit that profile, either. So it’s the blink-blink… oh. Shit. Sorry. Ease up offa me.

Also known as?

That happens.

As someone who has experienced both sides of the street. Not being here, and not being then.

If you slid through, almost effortlessly? Because you didn’t act/react badly? Take a deep breath, and know it’s not Alzheimer’s. Just a glitch. That you dealt with, well. That no one got hurt over. No one got scared, or had to reconcile. Your past was more present, than your present. And you still? Opted into “now” instead of “then”.

 

[arfie]

deeply repressed flashback is my theory. i started psychotherapy with "trauma induced amnesia." before i started allowing memory blocks to come down and consciously process the emerging memory, almost blackouts were a fairly typical response to childhood memories.

but that is me and every case is unique. . .

steadying support while you sort your own case.

 

[DogTired]

One of the biggest problems with flashbacks, IME/IMO, is that if the people with me NOW aren’t with me THEN? IDFK who they are. Because my head is in the past, not the present.

Conversely?

I’ve dated a helluva lotta combat vets whom I end up smacking the shit out of them (wake..the f*ck… UP!) because they have me pinned to a wall, or whatever, because I surprised them. And? I’m “new”. I don’t exist in the past they’re reliving, so I’m a threat/enemy. It’s only the training to target ID that has really kept me alive. As I don’t fit that profile, either. So it’s the blink-blink… oh. Shit. Sorry. Ease up offa me.

Also known as?

That happens.

As someone who has experienced both sides of the street. Not being here, and not being then.

If you slid through, almost effortlessly? Because you didn’t act/react badly? Take a deep breath, and know it’s not Alzheimer’s. Just a glitch. That you dealt with, well. That no one got hurt over. No one got scared, or had to reconcile. Your past was more present, than your present. And you still? Opted into “now” instead of “then”.

I was a combat vet and it took me years to settle down (sort of).
Luckily (or is it unlucky), my nightmares are always NOW, REALTIME, and an accurate playback of really bad experiences.
With me smack bang right in the middle of everything and participating in what was going on

Before that happy (not really) moment, the confusion in me about what was real and fantasy was well blurred and had me thrashing around as my mind simply overloaded. Fine while in my bed alone, but not good for my wife to be (WTB).

The good news is some sort of internal switch stopped me dead when I touched her or she touched or spoke to me.
An instant wake up was the result. The outcome then was always tears, the shakes, and sweat from me, as my WTB fought to calm me down.
Which I think says something about my level of consciousness. I reckon I was asleep but only just.

However, I have known PTSD buds who literally smash up their rooms in their dreams but not one of them has ever struck their partner.
What is that about? Are some the same as me?
On the other hand I've known PTSD buddies to try ripping the throats out of other guys when asleep in transit, but never their partner.

p.s The WTB stuck with me, became my wife, and with her help, I still live the nightmares but a single touch or word from her wakes me.
From flat out horror to back to sleep in a minute or so.

 

[Friday]

I was a combat vet and it took me years to settle down (sort of).

LMAO. Same. I mostly redirected the wild into “socially acceptable” / mostly healthy activities. Cough.

Luckily (or is it unlucky), my nightmares are always NOW, REALTIME, and an accurate playback of really bad experiences.

I have 3 kinds of nightmares…

- Total Reality (flashbacks whilst asleep)
- Total Fiction
- Too Much Nightmare Fuel (blends of fiction & reality)

…and they tend to come in jags (a few weeks here, a few weeks there) although they occasionally are one offs, most of the time? If I’ve had one, I know Imma bout to be changing the way I sleep to deal with them.

If I’m sleeping by myself, (after first stripping the room of any object in lunge reach; lamps, cords, furniture, etc. because I reeeeeally don’t want weapons around when I’m out of it) I use the nighttime potty training trick of triple sheeting my bed. (Waterproof cover, sheet; waterproof cover, sheet; waterproof cover, sheet) so that when I bolt awake, drenched in sweat & swear, I can just rip the top couple layers off, dump them on the floor in front of the washing machine, and strip on the way to the shower. Stand under that blessed-blessed-heat, or hot/cold/hot/cold, until all the sweat-oil-fight/flight pheromones are washed off… And stomp back to bed to fall bonelessly to sleep in DRY sheets, that don’t stink of my own fear/rage. Total elapsed time? About 90 seconds. Repeat as necessary. Wash my sheets in the morning.

If I’m NOT sleeping by myself, that usually means taking my pillow to the staircase or couch/lounge/divan. Stairs are my favorite, both because they’re oddly comfortable, and because it’s just my clothes, and myself, that need cleaning. Not the wood. But then, my stairs aren’t carpeted!

Brutal thing, nightmares.

Whilst some people have luck with prazosin (blood pressure med with the odd side effect of not remembering your dreams, similar to how another blood pressure med -little blue pill- had a quirky side effect…. So wildly popular it was worth getting it relabeled! ), or trazadone, or similar? That hasn’t been the case for me. So I mostly find ways to work around them without accidentally killing the people I love, or losing too much sleep.