New And Needs Help

[Ronnid3]

Please if there is someone out there. I am new although I have had PTSD since childhood. I thought I had it under control until my husband left me. It has thrown me back into those haunting memories, feelings and suicidal thoughts. It doesn't help I have stopped sleeping and eating. Eating is because of my Gastroparisis not a way of suffering. Any Suggestions?

 

[Darkness Shines]

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time, Ronnid. Too much stress definitely brings the PTSD symptoms rushing back in. I would say the most important thing is to try whatever methods you can to get at least some sleep. Not sleeping really does make it all so much worse. Maybe find a friend who you can share your feelings with, or if you don't have anyone you really trust in person, then maybe share some of it here on the forum. There are lots of people here who will listen and give you support and advice.

Welcome to the forums!

 

[Ted Moen]

Good advice. Sleep deprivation makes all ptsd symptoms worse. Take a deep breath (or 45 minutes of mindfullness meditation), get plenty of sleep, get plenty of exercise, and keep up your normal routine as much as possible even thought it feels meaningless at the moment and you have to fight your way through the old thoughts and feelings to do what you would normally be doing in the present if you weren't re-experiencing old symptoms. It's not easy, but it buys you the time to let the initial wave of moods pass.

Welcome!

Ted

 

[Ronnid3]

Thank you for the advise. I have such a terrible time with sleep. I today have been up since, well actually its been 24 hours. I will try the meditation but my mind is so consumed with my challenges, my losses and fears and mostly flashbacks. I don't have anyone to confide in that understands what PTSD is and I only know basics about this. They are shocked at my behavior because I'm not the confident person they thought I was because I've tried my best to hide all the flashbacks. I am committed to not hurting myself. Do meetings help? And is there a hotline?? I called a suicide hotline and sat in silence. She had nothing to offer other than its not as bad as it seems.

 

[Marie E.]

Welcome to the Forum Rod!

Hope you get to feeling better!

 

[blueangel371115]

welcome!!!! I have sleep problems lately. It's difficult , I understand.

 

[Ronnid3]

welcome!!!! I have sleep problems lately. It's difficult , I understand.

It stinks!! I hope sleep comes soon for us both!!

 

[Ronnid3]

Welcome to the Forum Rod!:) Hope you get to feeling better!

Thank you Marie

 

[blueangel371115]

It stinks!! I hope sleep comes soon for us both!! :)

me too, thank you (((Ronni)))

 

[anthony]

Hi Ronnid, welcome to the forum.

I thought I had it under control until my husband left me.

If you had it under control, then nothing has really changed in that regard. The change, obviously, is that you are now suffering what is very normal after a separation. I wouldn't get off track and begin trying to treat the symptoms, as you said, you had it under control and managed. Its uncommon that someone doesn't have fallout after separation, so what you are enduring sounds all perfectly normal, other than that its obviously heightened due to existing PTSD.

I would seriously just focus on the very normal stressors that is separation, get some counselling, you have online support here and other websites... and symptoms should dissipate by themselves again, as the only new trigger if you like, is marriage breakdown.

People to often get all caught up in the symptoms, when you know the cause... its more you just have to accept the symptoms as a normal result, don't fight with them and make it worse. It takes everyone time after divorce to resettle their lives, to readjust... all very normal. Its often a person can worsen the already worse situation, by compounding the issues, knowingly or not, ie. abuse cycle. You start beating yourself up, it compounds and turns into a nasty internal cycle which makes symptoms out of control.

 

[Ronnid3]

Well Anthony when the marriage is over partly because of my symptoms. So my point was I thought I was doing better..
Yes I have been divorced once before. I know the feelings you naturally go through and am more than capable of dealing with that. It's the memories that are coming back from childhood abuse that I can't bear. Why I pray every moment I stop breathing. I am 45 and the abuse still haunts me.
That is what I need treatment for I believe.

 

[anthony]

Were the haunting memories present from your childhood abuse prior to your husband walking out on you?