New And Needs Help

[Iam]

Welcome to the forum Ronnid. Take a look around, read some of the articles. You may find that very useful. Do you have a therapist? If not it would really be helpful during this time if you can afford it. At any rate, glad you're here

 

[Ronnid3]

Were the haunting memories present from your childhood abuse prior to your husband walking out on you?

Yes.

 

[Ronnid3]

Welcome to the forum Ronnid. Take a look around, read some of the articles. You may find that very useful. Do you have a therapist? If not it would really be helpful during this time if you can afford it. At any rate, glad you're here :)

Thank you. No I am disabled so unable to become employed. My husband isn't giving me any financial help so I don't have money for therapist. I have applied for disability but as of now I am penniless and homeless.

 

[Ronnid3]

Today...I'm doing better. It is such a struggle. I have to try and control my thoughts every second of the day. I tried to sleep and only slept a couple of hours, since then I am up, mind racing heart racing. I still have my plan...I still intend on disappearing...and that gives me a strange comfort. I'm sorry to say.
I wish I could remember techiques for coping I learned twenty years ago.
The only one I remember is Journaling. So I write...:(:confused:

 

[Ronnid3]

I spoke to soon!!! I am tied to this earth to suffer. It hurts to breathe. Why didn't I die physically that night?
I died in every other sense of the word.

 

[Marie E.]

(((Hugs))) for you Ronnid, things will get better!!

 

[anthony]

Yes.

Then I totally agree with your prior statement... you need to go back and reevaluate the childhood trauma.

Your initial statement has said you you had it all under control, hence why I asked for clarification. If this is the case, then things would not have been as under control as you thought, though either way, your husband walking out on you is all that's needed to raise it all again if it was still disturbing you prior, meaning there is still unresolved negative emotion lingering that must be dealt with.... if its never been dealt with... well, that means full trauma therapy at some point in life.

 

[Ronnid3]

Thank you to everyone who has been here for me.

 

[Ronnid3]

What is trauma therapy? Is that only available through a councelor? I really need help. can anyone tell me what steps they have taken to get better?

 

[Iam]

What is trauma therapy? Is that only available through a councelor? I really need help. can anyone tell me what steps they have taken to get better?

There are therapists who specialize in dealing with trauma and PTSD. There are many different types of trauma therapy. Everyone responds differently to types of therapy, but CBT(cognitive behavioral therapy) is supposedly shown to be the longest lasting. Exposure therapy (can be done in different ways), EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprogramming), DBT (intense group therapy), EFT (tapping), psychoanalytical (talk therapy) are all forms used. It's very important, when you get to the point where you can afford to go into therapy, to find a therapist trained in trauma.

I personally am doing EMDR and CBT which have both been very helpful for me.

You can do exposure therapy here on the forum. Go to the trauma diary section and start a timeline of your traumas. Read the articles here. Keep posting and reading other's posts. EFT is something that you can do at home. Google it and you will find lots of videos that explain how to tap. I've heard many people say that it has helped them, but I don't have personal experience with it.

Good luck!

 

[Ronnid3]

Sorry I am just seeing your post. I have had five people I know and love die this week alone. Carlos was 23. Thank you for the information. I will study up on all this hopefully tomorrow. If I make it through the night.
thank you again.