Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Intrusive Thoughts - Ending a 10 Year Relationship

[CazzTheGeek]

I'm struggling to cope with all my intrusive thoughts and general over thinking. This is giving me anxiety, leading to anxiety/panic attacks. I'm currently ending a ten year relationship which is hard but I'm still having to share a property, eventually I'll be living by myself for the first time in my life.

I struggle with the things I usual do because of my ex and I'm struggling to find new interests. The fear, uncertainty and all the emotions our so overwhelming and hard to keep in check.

I'm doing breathing exercises and grounding techniques but I'm still struggling, If anyone has experienced a similar time, I'd appreciate the advice or experience.

 

[Survivor3]

I'm struggling to cope with all my intrusive thoughts and general over thinking. This is giving me anxiety, leading to anxiety/panic attacks. I'm currently ending a ten year relationship which is hard but I'm still having to share a property, eventually I'll be living by myself for the first time in my life.

I struggle with the things I usual do because of my ex and I'm struggling to find new interests. The fear, uncertainty and all the emotions our so overwhelming and hard to keep in check.

I'm doing breathing exercises and grounding techniques but I'm still struggling, If anyone has experienced a similar time, I'd appreciate the advice or experience.

Hi @CazzTheGeek I can relate alot. Been in very similar situations apart from the length of the relationship, but have had to start out new sooooo many times. The rumination causing anxiety and panic attacks....yep. there are various coping/grounding mechanisms. Some medical (I take antihistamines for anxiety/panic attacks) laying down, creative pursuits, exercise, meditation, therapy, food... this list can go on. You say your struggling to find new interests? What would you like to do? Have you seen anything you'd like to get involved with? Any thoughts?

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Hi @CazzTheGeek I can relate alot. Been in very similar situations apart from the length of the relationship, but have had to start out new sooooo many times. The rumination causing anxiety and panic attacks....yep. there are various coping/grounding mechanisms. Some medical (I take antihistamines for anxiety/panic attacks) laying down, creative pursuits, exercise, meditation, therapy, food... this list can go on. You say your struggling to find new interests? What would you like to do? Have you seen anything you'd like to get involved with? Any thoughts?

Thank you so much for the response, I'm thinking about trying art again. I did start a diary here and intend to buy a physical one. My goal is to stream on Twitch but I'm way off now due to prioritising the move.

At the moment I'm trying to watch a wrestling PPV with my best friend who I'm staying with. We all used to hangout and watch together. And the anxiety and emotions are so bad right now.

 

[Survivor3]

Thank you so much for the response, I'm thinking about trying art again. I did start a diary here and intend to buy a physical one. My goal is to stream on Twitch but I'm way off now due to prioritising the move.

At the moment I'm trying to watch a wrestling PPV with my best friend who I'm staying with. We all used to hangout and watch together. And the anxiety and emotions are so bad right now.

Sounds like good fun watching the wrestling . And really pleased to hear you have a best friend, that's great news. I'm an artist also so I understand the attraction ️ . Moving IS stressful so my advice right now is just have faith in yourself...have faith that your doing the right thing for yourself at this moment and that's going to take "X" amount of time. After you've got the move sorted you can re-evaluate your short and long term goals. It's a bit like a rollercoaster right now! Hold on tight and don't let go!!! You've got this!

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Sounds like good fun watching the wrestling . And really pleased to hear you have a best friend, that's great news. I'm an artist also so I understand the attraction ️ . Moving IS stressful so my advice right now is just have faith in yourself...have faith that your doing the right thing for yourself at this moment and that's going to take "X" amount of time. After you've got the move sorted you can re-evaluate your short and long term goals. It's a bit like a rollercoaster right now! Hold on tight and don't let go!!! You've got this!

I used to be big on art and still am a fan of some artists but as for doing it, I think I'll find it quite therapeutic. Thank you for the advice and reaching out. This is not a easy time for me and I can't get therapy until I have a permanent address. Speaking to people who have experienced similar and got through, is part of whats getting me through this

 

[Survivor3]

I used to be big on art and still am a fan of some artists but as for doing it, I think I'll find it quite therapeutic. Thank you for the advice and reaching out. This is not a easy time for me and I can't get therapy until I have a permanent address. Speaking to people who have experienced similar and got through, is part of whats getting me through this

Really good to hear you'll be getting therapy, smart move. I had over 150 sessions! It really helped. When i first started using this site I was f*cked! Still an alcoholic and psychologically and emotionally destroyed. Years of untreated trauma, depression and anxiety. Music...the constant companion in my life was the only thing keeping me alive. I had no friends.

But getting professional help, helped alot. A safe place to go every week to unload and try and process the trauma and mistakes I'd made. I now feel happy most of the time, stable. I have bad days and moans and anxiety sometimes but I'm enjoying my life. Ive got good friends now, practice Buddhism, work part time, play saxophone and have a good relationship my family. Eat well and look after myself. I never believed it was possible but it is.....

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Wow, sounds like you're doing great. I can't wait to get to that place. I started using the site because I feel so f*cked up, talking to friends is great and helpful, but my main support and part time carer was my husband. So I'm using the site more, only a survivor truly understands. I have a few friends but no family, I consider my friends family.

Also used to be an alcoholic and it is tempting to drink this away but I know that is only temporary.

 

[Survivor3]

Wow, sounds like you're doing great. I can't wait to get to that place. I started using the site because I feel so f*cked up, talking to friends is great and helpful, but my main support and part time carer was my husband. So I'm using the site more, only a survivor truly understands. I have a few friends but no family, I consider my friends family.

Also used to be an alcoholic and it is tempting to drink this away but I know that is only temporary.

Using this site was crucial in my development. They put up with me haha I've made good friends with some people here and people have been very supportive, it's a wealth of information. Yeah when you've got things to sort out..(as painfull as it is) its best to stay off the booze. Its just not good for people. But I'm not being "preachy" about that because I know what it's like.

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Using this site was crucial in my development. They put up with me haha I've made good friends with some people here and people have been very supportive, it's a wealth of information. Yeah when you've got things to sort out..(as painfull as it is) its best to stay off the booze. Its just not good for people. But I'm not being "preachy" about that because I know what it's like.

Haha, not preachy at all. Talking and admitting how I feel about it, is enough right now not to send me back there. I need to go through the emotions, feel and process.

 

[Survivor3]

Haha, not preachy at all. Talking and admitting how I feel about it, is enough right now not to send me back there. I need to go through the emotions, feel and process.

That's a great perspective to have on it. Someone said to me once "try and fast forward in your mind what happens when you use". I found that a really helpful trick because for me personally that would involve the following..."getting me through the night, being drunk, puking, quite possibly communicating really badly , hangovers, injuries, less money, guilt and bad health".

That verses some anxiety and thought processing now is a no brainer!

 

[CazzTheGeek]

I completely agree and that is a great technique. The messes and actions of my decisions were not the best either. And they would be worse if I started again now. It's not worth it.

 

[arfie]

in my own case, i don't believe my anxiety, panic attacks or intrusive thought patterns vary as much as the triggers do. whether the anxiety is triggered by a room full of masked strangers, close proximity to someone i wish i could expel from my life or a pending change in my life, the panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, etc., will follow in a quasi-predictable pattern. gently looking for that pattern helps me prep my psych tools, several of which have been mentioned here and saves me bunches of time and energy on dealing with the surprise factor. emphasis on "gently looking." looking for the pattern all too easily morphs into yet another body of intrusive thoughts i can't get out of my head.