Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Intrusive Thoughts - Ending a 10 Year Relationship

[Susan Jane]

in my own case, i don't believe my anxiety, panic attacks or intrusive thought patterns vary as much as the triggers do. whether the anxiety is triggered by a room full of masked strangers, close proximity to someone i wish i could expel from my life or a pending change in my life, the panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, etc., will follow in a quasi-predictable pattern. gently looking for that pattern helps me prep my psych tools, several of which have been mentioned here and saves me bunches of time and energy on dealing with the surprise factor. emphasis on "gently looking." looking for the pattern all too easily morphs into yet another body of intrusive thoughts i can't get out of my head.

I so get this, looking for patterns which can be very useful sometimes spins me into another body of intrusive thoughts… go figure… When I have had enough I keep telling my thoughts … cancel cancel. When I am in an anxiety spin, rational is out the window

Yes I hav

I'm struggling to cope with all my intrusive thoughts and general over thinking. This is giving me anxiety, leading to anxiety/panic attacks. I'm currently ending a ten year relationship which is hard but I'm still having to share a property, eventually I'll be living by myself for the first time in my life.

I struggle with the things I usual do because of my ex and I'm struggling to find new interests. The fear, uncertainty and all the emotions our so overwhelming and hard to keep in check.

I'm doing breathing exercises and grounding techniques but I'm still struggling, If anyone has experienced a similar time, I'd appreciate the advice or experience.

I have experienced this a lot. Depending on my state, I can deal or I am completely overwhelmed… Overwhelmed has been my state for about 6 months…. Sending understanding…

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Yes I hav

I have experienced this a lot. Depending on my state, I can deal or I am completely overwhelmed… Overwhelmed has been my state for about 6 months…. Sending understanding…

Thank you, the situation I find myself in, is one I never thought was a possibility.
Today especially, I'm struggling with so many emotions and intrusive thoughts whilst trying to be strong.

I'm going home later to clear the air and discuss terms and things with my husband. We have to live together for awhile and I am terrified I won't be able cope seeing him move on whilst I'm half way through limbo.

in my own case, i don't believe my anxiety, panic attacks or intrusive thought patterns vary as much as the triggers do. whether the anxiety is triggered by a room full of masked strangers, close proximity to someone i wish i could expel from my life or a pending change in my life, the panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, etc., will follow in a quasi-predictable pattern. gently looking for that pattern helps me prep my psych tools, several of which have been mentioned here and saves me bunches of time and energy on dealing with the surprise factor. emphasis on "gently looking." looking for the pattern all too easily morphs into yet another body of intrusive thoughts i can't get out of my head.

Thank you for the advice, I'll try looking out for the patterns, I already know the triggers, trying to work through those.

 

[Shortsocks]

I'm struggling to cope with all my intrusive thoughts and general over thinking. This is giving me anxiety, leading to anxiety/panic attacks. I'm currently ending a ten year relationship which is hard but I'm still having to share a property, eventually I'll be living by myself for the first time in my life.

I struggle with the things I usual do because of my ex and I'm struggling to find new interests. The fear, uncertainty and all the emotions our so overwhelming and hard to keep in check.

I'm doing breathing exercises and grounding techniques but I'm still struggling, If anyone has experienced a similar time, I'd appreciate the advice or experience.

Hi CazzTheGeek . I have no advice but just wanted to say I really admire how you’re coping. I am in a different situation - the opposite in fact, perhaps left by a sufferer - and reading your words moves something deep inside me. I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. Keep putting one foot after another. I can’t do it yet but knowing that there are people like you out there helps a lot. Your honest strength is inspiring. Thank you.

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Hi CazzTheGeek . I have no advice but just wanted to say I really admire how you’re coping. I am in a different situation - the opposite in fact, perhaps left by a sufferer - and reading your words moves something deep inside me. I am sorry you are going through such a hard time. Keep putting one foot after another. I can’t do it yet but knowing that there are people like you out there helps a lot. Your honest strength is inspiring. Thank you.

Thank you for your kind words, I am doing my best under the circumstances but today is very hard and it's been very emotional. I'm returning home later because neither one of us can afford to move out. So I'm hoping we can discuss things with kindness, understanding and compassion. Then set some boundaries and house rules.

I'm going about this the best I can, his not been making it easy. So I'm hoping we can turn a new leaf this evening, to try and co exist for now. I'm not trying to make this more difficult than it has to be and I'm not happy agreeing to the divorce, but I can't change his mind. So I know I need to let him go and get myself back into therapy.

I'm sorry you're going through something similar, if you need someone to talk to about it, gain a different perspective or just need a chat. Feel free to reach out.

 

[Shortsocks]

Thank you for your kind words, I am doing my best under the circumstances but today is very hard and it's been very emotional. I'm returning home later because neither one of us can afford to move out. So I'm hoping we can discuss things with kindness, understanding and compassion. Then set some boundaries and house rules.

I'm going about this the best I can, his not been making it easy. So I'm hoping we can turn a new leaf this evening, to try and co exist for now. I'm not trying to make this more difficult than it has to be and I'm not happy agreeing to the divorce, but I can't change his mind. So I know I need to let him go and get myself back into therapy.

I'm sorry you're going through something similar, if you need someone to talk to about it, gain a different perspective or just need a chat. Feel free to reach out.

There is so much grace and wiseness in your words. Thanks for the offer to chat, connection really helps. Will be thinking of you later on

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Thank you I agree, connection is so important and I lost site of that for sometime. It was a big step for me to start reaching out like this and one I do not regret. Thanks again, I'm very nervous and anxious but I have no choice but to deal with it.

 

[Susan Jane]

Thank you, the situation I find myself in, is one I never thought was a possibility.
Today especially, I'm struggling with so many emotions and intrusive thoughts whilst trying to be strong.

I'm going home later to clear the air and discuss terms and things with my husband. We have to live together for awhile and I am terrified I won't be able cope seeing him move on whilst I'm half way through limbo.

Hey Cazz, you’re welcome. Learning to be there for ourselves and our own best interests is very tough, you deserve to be your main concern.. Your strength is not in question.. sometimes being vulnerable and needing help is what shows our strength

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Hey Cazz, you’re welcome. Learning to be there for ourselves and our own best interests is very tough, you deserve to be your main concern.. Your strength is not in question.. sometimes being vulnerable and needing help is what shows our strength

Thanks @Susan Jane, it's my first day back in my home after two weeks and I'm struggling with all the emotions and grieving my marriage today.

 

[Susan Jane]

@CazzTheGeek
I know how hard that is, I have been through it. It felt surreal and was really scary. I felt lost and had a 6 year old who needed me. It was hell for quite a while. I eventually got through it, but back then I was not as healthy in my relationship with myself, and besides being a mother, which I took very seriously, I treated myself badly and suffered from terrible anxiety, fear and sadness. I held it together for my son. It was 19 years ago and I fell back into the trap of needing someone. My marriage was not a happy one, but it hurt nevertheless, lost dreams, disappointments and guilt about my little boy. Please feel free to reach out anytime, sending a virtual hug, hope that is okay. Susan Jane

 

[CazzTheGeek]

@CazzTheGeek
I know how hard that is, I have been through it. It felt surreal and was really scary. I felt lost and had a 6 year old who needed me. It was hell for quite a while. I eventually got through it, but back then I was not as healthy in my relationship with myself, and besides being a mother, which I took very seriously, I treated myself badly and suffered from terrible anxiety, fear and sadness. I held it together for my son. It was 19 years ago and I fell back into the trap of needing someone. My marriage was not a happy one, but it hurt nevertheless, lost dreams, disappointments and guilt about my little boy. Please feel free to reach out anytime, sending a virtual hug, hope that is okay. Susan Jane

Thank you, all of this is happening so quickly for me and I really need the support.

 

[Survivor3]

Hi @CazzTheGeek, just read that you're at home now. Sending hugs hope you can "keep an even keel".

 

[CazzTheGeek]

Hey @Survivor3, thanks for checking in. I'm back home, we talked, set rules and such, his being super respectful. But I'm finding it extremely difficult, there's been a lot of tears today. He started greving a long time ago and was ready to move on. We haven't even filed for separation yet and his in another relationship, It's like a knife to the heart.

I keep blaming myself, I know we're both to blame for the marriage failing but one of the big reasons was my mental health and how I've been a shell of my former self for the past 4 years.