Help is available, just not for me.

[Odd Socks]

I'm done with the UK's NHS contractors BS mental health tick list CBT as it had zero relevance to what was attacking me when I'm asleep. Despite me pleading for them to concentrate on the nightmares. End result? The anger I had suppressed for years is back! It wasn't until a USvet buddy asked me what training the "therapist" had in dealing with combat PTSD. So I asked the question. Answer? Nil, Zip, Nought, None.
I closed down the laptop, mid session, got really mad, threw my toys around, and cried like a baby that night. Next thing that happens is I get a letter. Short version? We can't / won't help you!

I wrote out a blistering letter to send back to the idiots. My wife read it, and it got trashed. What now? Dunno. The doctor said, "I'll look into it", four months ago. What's new about that??

One thing all this has done is got me out and about again.
Useful? Dunno yet but it bl**dy hurts as I'm back with hypervigilance on speed!

 

[Friday]

I periodically have to remind myself that I moved to this area, in no small part, because there is almooooooost no military presence. Every once in a blue moon ROTC will run by singing, and I’ll have to not kill anyone or break anything for a day or two. NBD. There are veeeeery few places as far away from active military bases, as where I live. So it “shouldn’t” surprise me that therapists who specialize in military schtuff? ALSO don’t live/work here. They live somewhere else, with a client base that pays their bills, and feeds their kids, and everything else. Not a lotta ice machine sales people in the arctic, Amiright? You move to where the work is. If you sell ice? You move to the tropics, the hot muggy summers, the medical tech hubs. You don’t hit up Eskimos.

It STILL pissed me the hell f*cking off that out of 2,000 therapists who list trauma”trauma” as something they “do” only about 200 were ACTUAL trauma therapists, and of those 200? ZERO specialized in combat/military/etc. The scant handful who mentioned it? Had, like ONE, client. Who, in addition to all of their brutal childhood trauma, also served in the military. None of them? Had a f*cking clue. The bloke I liked BEST, and still TRIED to see? Kept having to go look up that the super basic thing I mentioned (and I’m talking chowhall nonsense, not deadchecking) was actually a “thing”. OMG, you were right! …Um. Cha. I know I’m right. I lived it.

If you’re in the UK? I -essentially- took the train to France / Spain for therapy. 10 hours, express. Here, in the US West Coast, that’s “just” one state over. On the east coast that could be 10 states. Regardless? THAT is how far I had to travel to find someone who was experienced in what I needed.

And, yes. Here in the US, where we can CHOOSE who we see. As long as we can foot the $200 - $700 per HOUR cost. (Lowball. The last shrink I saw was $700 per 15minutes, and an ambulance ride, is 10k to start, if they ONLY drive you. Lifesaving interventions can kick that to 50k with 3 interventions).

I’ve lived in the UK.

PAY FOR f*ckING PRIVATE CARE, at £30 per hour, and jerk off to how much better off you are than Yankees are. Seeeeeeriously.

There’s free. WE have a VA, too. We’re not immune to free. Not immune to “should”, or “fair”, or “earned”, or “supposed to”. REALITY??? Find a badass person privately. Free is a lottery. No one f*cking wins playing the lottery…okay, someone does. But don’t let not winning the lottery gut you. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. Find someone badass that you’re paying Sunday roast, or a week’s worth of coffee, or half a tank of patrol, to. Pittance. Compared with the return. Yes. It “should” be free. But free landed you with a muppet. f*ck that.

 

[Movingforward10]

I'm in the UK and pay for my own therapy.
I went to the NHS for therapy once back in 2004. Never went back.

Paying for yourself means you have more freedom to choose who your therapist is.
And lots do sliding scale payments.

 

[arfie]

i started psychotherapy in earnest during my tour of duty in the u.s. army. 1973-76. combat ptsd had another 20 years to go of being called, "shell shock." none of the current psych specialties had formed yet. i'm sure glad i didn't wait for the specialists to finish their potty training before i started working with what was available at the time.

don't accuse me of experting, but i solidly believe healing is a do-it-yourself proposition, regardless of what degrees or certifications your helpers have. just believing. . . proof irrelevant.

 

[Odd Socks]

I'm in the UK and pay for my own therapy.
I went to the NHS for therapy once back in 2004. Never went back.

Paying for yourself means you have more freedom to choose who your therapist is.
And lots do sliding scale payments.

Two things. 3 NHS "therapists". All had the same things in common (apart from no life skills), they were all Gen Z and trainees. No. 4 did have a qualification though, hypnotherapy.
Only he couldn't use it as all contact was via zoom. LOL.

P.E.T is what I'm looking for. That sorted me out for 40 years (until it didn't). P.E.T isn't available via the NHS but I guess those with money can go private. Only when the 'once a month' pay arrives, it don't make for nothing more than loose change before the next one. Sob story? Not at all. We live within our means and owe nothing. Never will borrow or lend, and only use cash and absolutely no credit.

The original PET was the treatment I had overseas, payment covered by an NGO. Here, in the UK, the official body that authorizes such treatment in the UK says it doesn't give "value for money". Yet for the rest of the world, it's the goto therapy of choice for combat PTSD (including the VA). Guess that's the penalty of living in the newly minted 3rd world country of the UK :))

 

[Odd Socks]

i started psychotherapy in earnest during my tour of duty in the u.s. army. 1973-76. combat ptsd had another 20 years to go of being called, "shell shock." none of the current psych specialties had formed yet. i'm sure glad i didn't wait for the specialists to finish their potty training before i started working with what was available at the time.

don't accuse me of experting, but i solidly believe healing is a do-it-yourself proposition, regardless of what degrees or certifications your helpers have. just believing. . . proof irrelevant.

Yep, I agree. Self help is best but it also helps that I have a good woman looking after me, and a very intellent GSD.

 

[Movingforward10]

P.E.T is what I'm looking for.

If that's the mode of therapy that you want and knows works for you, and it isn't offered on the NHS then....

Only when the 'once a month' pay arrives, it don't make for nothing more than loose change before the next one. Sob story? Not at all. We live within our means and owe nothing. Never will borrow or lend, and only use cash and absolutely no credit.

....is there any organisation that is within your financial means that you can research?

If not, what are options that could work for you?
NHS again?
Another mode of therapy on a sliding scale that is within your means?
Group work?

Edit to add: would a place like this help? Or something similar?

Mental health services for veterans | Combat Stress

 

[Odd socks.]

Combat stress. Interesting, and my first call.
In just under two minutes they decided not to help me, and cut the call.
Yep, you read it right, they cut the call! From a 12 year service, combat vet, with PTSD!
So I put that out on a vet forum I use (all good guys, some broken) and the consensus was "You've had a lucky escape!".
Some telling me about other vets who went there and are still ill, or pushing up daisies.
Went to a veterans support group some 40 miles away, helpful, and all done by Zoom for meetings.
The "therapist" had ZERO experience of PTSD, very metaphysical, and a bit odd.
Turned out to be a life coach and hypnotherapist.
Asked for someone qualified. Got one, 310 miles away. So that was Zoom. Three sessions.
Then emails went unanswered, texts ignored, I asked why, no response.
So I checked him out in the Psych approved practitioners list. Nothing. Just another squid!

OP courage? Getting desperate by now so looking for a NHS thingie.
Started OK, (but took nearly a year of waiting) then got silly and very "tick list", organisational charts, and eventually I found out that the Gen. Z "therapist" was a trainee, zero life skills, ZERO adaptability, or empathy, outside of her prepared "lesson plan".
That did not end well, However, if you push someone with anger issues too much, don't be surprised if they bite you.
Personally I hope she never qualifies.

The good bit is I've got some really good vet friends around the world with really good local help. T
A few problems there. Money, distance, time, and other tiny problems like Visa's.
Why worry? I can easily leave the UK but always seem to attract an "interview" on return. Guess I've got a tag.
However I had to laugh at one when he suggested, "Pull off a spectacular and you'll get all the help you need."
I chuckled about that one, thought about it, didn't, but only because of my family.
However, with civil war bubbling just under the surface of the UK? Well, it's been a long time since I had some 'fun'.

 

[Sideways]

Mod note:
@Odd Socks - don’t forget to log in to post:)

 

[Odd Socks]

Mod note:
@Odd Socks - don’t forget to log in to post:)

Oops, sorry.

 

[Odd Socks]

Hi folks. Quick update as I've been "slightly distracted" lately after finding a buddy I served with.
He found religion in the form of an ex-Légion étrangère priest with psych skills to help him and I'm now talking to his priest via Zoom.

Nice bit? No language difficulties (i.e. he understands mil-speak) THE PLUS! I'm sleeping better at nights.
Which is actually all I asked for from Op. Courage. It's early days but I am feeling more relaxed.
One additional thing. My lovely wife is smiling more. xxx

 

[Odd Socks]

This is not going to be a good post but I hope helpful.

About my new best friend that might not be.
You know how you can get a feeling that something isn't quite right or too good to be true?
My wife picked up on it as she reads me like a open book.
So today she "casually" asked, "You have done the usual checks ??" Me, "Err no."
I really hate it when she looks over the top of her glasses at me.

On checking (Site/IP Reputation). My new 'friend' was listed as Be careful. MO-helpful, then asks for "a contribution". 31 bad reports.
Me, "Oh Sh-t". Wife now sits up.
"Tell me you were Voice Only!".
Me. "As always!" (And yes, she is very tech savvy, and well feisty).

So, now black listed, but thankfully, and as usual, I was running via Tor for those sessions.
Problem is this has knocked me back and, for a few days, I've not been a happy budgie.
Taking long walks alone with the dog while my wife blitzed the laptop for viruses and trackers.
Another result of me being stressed is talking to each other has been "cautious" and that is something else I don't like.

Contacting my buddy was also "uncomfortable". He not believing any of it until I emailed the proof and he went Ape Sh-t!!!!
I'll leave it for a while until he cools down before talking to him again.

Look, I know there are good people out there who want to help others but there are times when your desire for help can swamp caution. I nearly got caught for a second time, and realizing that is not a nice feeling.