Uhm , Is My Therapist Overwhelmed?

[OKRADLAK]

OK so I go in and am not having a good day and so I tell her that things have not gotten better. And she asks me if I want to stay in therapy??!!!:eek: Further, she reminds me I am there voluntarily as if I came on strong, but I was in tears, not aggressive.

I am dumbfounded because they usually do not ask that until you feel GOOD. Not tell you whilst in misery that maybe you should stop!!! AND I have only see her a total of about 5 times!! So it is not a matter of "This is taking too long."

She kept asking if the therapy made things worse and kept focusing on the therapy as a trigger and not other things that bother me which are many!!

I said no, but that I do not think I could ever be cured even with therapy and she actually sounded like she agreed and that maybe we should throw in the towel!!!

But I said no, that it helps me not go backward!!! I am not doing things to harm myself because I AM in therapy!! DUH! So even if no cure, at least no suicide, no drinking, no self harm. Isn't that good??!!

So then she backed down and tried to pluck up, said she does not get discouraged , but I saw the fear in her eyes. It's too late.

She told me she had never had a client with this particular presentation, whatever that means, and that I was a "challenge." She was not testing me to see if I want recovery. I have not been there long enough.

We are on the same page.......Now we both thinkI am a hopeless case. She sees it and is intimidated.

So I am not sure what to do.

We discussed it, I said she was helping, I protected her feelings, but she was SO ready for me to stop. I saw it and she knew it. SHE IS AFRAID OF MY DISORDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:(

 

[Tinyflame]

Perhaps she is afraid she doesn't know what to do to help you, and that she didn't know if you felt the therapy was more harmful than helpful?
I can only imagine how you feel, but I certainly would rather have someone be honest with me. You can't talk about your concerns (or theirs) if either party doesn't tell the truth. And expressing 'fears' doesn't make them necessarily real.

There's no cure, OKRADLAK, only management and progress, so everyone is bound to get discouraged.
At least she cares enough to not just take your money.

Perhaps too, it will help you to define it yourself, as necessary or not?

Perhaps also it will even help her, if together you can make progress? -Renew her confidence that she will not be/ isn't letting you down, and that she can tackle this, too.

 

[BloomInWinter]

She is not skilled nor trained enough, or possibly not healthy enough herself.

It's not your failing, nor any mark against you...just trauma is tough on even the most skilled, healthy T.'s...

Nice she let you know she doesn't have the training to help you.

I'd ask for someone else. First thing in the morning.

...and speak kindly to yourself. You are not alone.

*Linking Arms*

 

[SimplyComplex]

Yeah...I would maybe ask her for a referral for someone who does work with more people like you. 60% of my T's clients are like me...or I think that is what she said. I need someone with a track record! So do you.

 

[Tinyflame]

Don't give up OKRADLAK, there has to be someone who can help you tackle this, overcoming the most so-called hopeless set of circumstances can turn into the greatest achievement.

 

[missd84]

Find someone who is specialized in trauma disorders because it sounds like she could really just be afraid because she hasn't worked with people who have PTSD and doesn't feel like she knows what to do.

 

[AngelaMarie]

But I said no, that it helps me not go backward!!! I am not doing things to harm myself because I AM in therapy!! DUH! So even if no cure, at least no suicide, no drinking, no self harm. Isn't that good??!!

It's very good!!! Give yourself credit!! Be proud!!!

 

[OKRADLAK]

Thank you all for your kind words. I am very upset. It is not just her. This happens to me often in therapy. I get blamed because I do not recover.

I do best in short spurts, I guess. I mean, I find it helpful but I am beginning to think that there is something wrong with me!

She even said. "I don't want to waste you time." OUCH!!! If that is not a euphamism (sp) for "God! You are wasting MY time. " I don't know what is.

I live in a small, rural town. There is no other option but driving 100 miles one way which I did until it was totally impossible.

I am afraid to go back unless I am all happy happy joy joy so I am not going back. Dam*mit.

But thank you guys for listening.I am glad someone get it. It means a lot even though I am very upset right now. HUGS back to you!!

 

[intothelight]

Hi Okradlak,

Your therapist sounds exactly like mine did; and she thought the best I could do, would be to become more functional. But she was not a trauma therapist and not experienced with clients that have PTSD.

Look for someone that meets your needs and can work with you as you heal. It is an intense partnership and it is critical to find the right partner. I am not going back to mine either.

Deb

 

[OKRADLAK]

Thank you, Into. It is very depressing, isn't it?!!

I am taking a rest. No therapy for a while.

 

[intothelight]

Yes, very depressing. I scared mine too.

 

[AngelaMarie]

OKRADLAK,
I think maybe taking a break is a good thing!!!