Survived Deposition

[Heather]

Gloria - It sounds like with this new man in your life it doesn't matter if the weather is sunny or not. You really don't need your tractor anymore;):p:D. Or the batteries for that matter. hehe. Unless.... Well, now I'm just being nasty. Never mind.:eek:

 

[Gloria]

Oh Heather! I love it! PTSD is such a serious site and so many people suffering but then I log in and you make me laugh!!! Actually, I was riding my tractor Sunday for hours and hours on just a gallon of gas. Men are more high maintenance so I still my love my tractor best. I even told this guy that and he thinks that over time, I might be more attached to him. :p:devilish::D:tup:

 

[mamachick]

Gloria have a fun weekend-and it sounds like you will :-)
Hugs

 

[Heather]

so I still love my tractor best. I even told this guy that and he thinks that over time, I might be more attached to him. :p:devilish::D:tup:

Well, like they say men come and go but a tractor is FOREVER!

 

[Heather]

Actually, I was riding my tractor Sunday for hours and hours on just a gallon of gas. Men are more high maintenace

Yea - when do you see them go for hours and hours? On a tank of anything?:sneaky::p

 

[anni]

Hahahahahahaha! I just left the 'Gas' thread- the other kind of gas, so was still laughing. You people set me OFF again!!

There do seem to be a few men out there with less than a realistic expectation of how far away from the toilet they need to stand in order to, um, reach the water there, if you know what I mean. I said a few- not a sweeping statement on the entire gender. There's a 'type', I know. I'm guessing if they're talking about it it's an indicator that they don't actually have the tighty whities to back it up.

Oh some better, sometimes. It's a matter at the moment of constantly, constantly processing things and just forcing accuity. You'd laugh if you could see the amount of sticky notes around this house right now, plus the day-to-day notes on the dry erase board, all the alarms on the cell phone. There's still things falling through the cracks- at least you get good at anticipating this will be the case so can sort of be your OWN 'keeper'. Yesterday I went into the store, could not for the life of me remember why I was there, got caught staring off into space in front of the Deli counter ( the clerk thought I was waiting in line ) so I ordered 1/2 pound of Provolone cheese. Left the store clueless as to why I'd gone there in the first place but with cheese.

I'll take butterflies in return for having done anything good at any point in the past-seems a fair trade, doesn't it? We had horrific storms last night, with tornados through here so hoping the butterflies found somewhere to weather the whole thing.

I don't know why that ninnie keeps having his deposition put off like that. It's not going to do well for him in the end- it's clear it's a ploy of some kind and is bound to backfire on him. I hope it does, but geesh- you need this to be over! At least do put this all away and out of your head, have a lovely weekend with your friend, family and horses and some much deserved PEACE, my friend.

xxoo

Anni

 

[Gloria]

I know Brat can understand this because I have some kind of weird sick bond with my ex who turned me in. He was the only (alive now) except for the police that understands what I went through and what happened to me. That's why I still wanted him around because I haven't gotten through this emotionally yet. Sure I stated everything at the deposition but I removed myself emotionally from it. I can talk about anything that happened to me and detach. I went through years of therapy and the therapist had me sit in a remote control booth and I would go under hypnosis and see and remember everything that happened but I'm not there and I can push a button at any time to stop it. But when someone else talks about their emotion and how they were terrified, etc. I still can't handle the emotional trigger.

So I caught myself feeling sorry for my ex! He is having police come to his door to serve him and that happened to me and it was terrifying. I have gone through financial problems and he must be totally overwhelmed and I caught myself feeling sorry for him. But he wouldn't apologize for what happened to me saying it was my own fault. It's insanity. This is the same reason that I tried to get back into my family of origin. I kept doing the same damn thing expecting different results. I kept trying to get my family to love me and respect me. I kept trying to get my ex to acknowledge my feelings and show me respect. Insanity and thanks to the shared experiences on this forum, I can see the insanity.

Annie, you know that when you are stressed out (and my dear you are totally stressed out!), you can't remember things. When the police were asking me questions when they were going to arrest me, I couldn't think straight and answer the questions. When the lawyers were asking me questions, I know I didn't remember everything because I was stressed. I go to Walmart all the time. I NEVER go there without a list now. I will need something desperately - like I'm out of garbage bags or cat litter or something really important. I go there and come up with two shopping bags full of stuff and no garbage bags or cat litter. I had a brain injury and got psycho-neurological testing that determined I could remember but my retrieval was very lacking. So they taught me to write everything down (like your post its) and to remember people's names, take their picture and put it in my computer and details that I couldn't remember - neighbors' names, friends' spouses names, my ex-husbands' names (just kidding:eek:)

I did the post it thing once. I find it better to do an excel spread sheet of all the things that I need to do and sort by priority and time sensitive? I wish I was there to show how to do it but you can actually sort and then the most high priority and urgent things come up on your spreadsheet. That's how I keep organized. I use post it's now to put on doors "Please remember to keep this door closed", etc. for reminders for my sons. Yeah, it's so hard to have adult sons. I don't want to keep mothering them and it's so hard to discipline them.

I'm going to my T this morning. Yep, pretty soon I won't have to go twice a week. She is optimistic that I am going to make a full recovery and have minimal PTSD symptoms in a few years. Finally! When my sons put me in an old people's home, I will be completely sane so I can sit in a wheelchair and look out the window. :cautious: But I guess better late than never. I am only in my fifties and I do see people sharp and active well into their eighties.

Hugs and lots of love to all! Hope you have a great Memorial Day weekend if you are in the U.S.! Otherwise just enjoy spring! We had terrible tornado and severe thunderstorms in our area as well.

Gloria

 

[anni]

Excell spread sheet- hahahahahahaha! Sigh. THAT would completely shut down the circuits, setting one of those things up. But yes, the writing every, single thing down is absolutely mandatory at the moment- there are stickies in the dam car!! I did need to comfort myself with the neurological thing, in point of fact-am NOT in early stages of brain dysfunction, etc. The forum articles started me on the poking around with this, being able to ascertain the genuine damage which is there, what-is-what, why, all the xyz stuff I personally find vastly comforting. It goes away, too when the stress overload does- ok, mostly. :) I still do things like have 10 hairbrushes so I can always find one, instead of being frustrated that I can't ever find anything. One of the most helpful things my T ever told me was that some of the coping skills one developes are just plain FINE- if it works, it works and we're ok the way we are with an awful lot of this stuff.

We MIGHT actually be going away for the weekend for the first time in forever! We'd gone to a graduation overnight a few weeks ago, but do not count that because it involved a huge amount of family dreck and stress. THIS would be just mere FUN, if it happens. I'm holding my breath and won't believe it until we're there! Yes, in the US- Pittsburgh, PA- one of my favorite cities because of the people, the history and ( hee ) The Steelers. My husband has a lot of family there- the lovely ones.

I don't know, Gloria. Gosh, I feel sorry for spiders, dead goldfish and roadkill but the ex's who conspired to do these things to us? That has eluded me so far but perhaps did not originally have the connection you did.

You have a wonderful weekend also. It always picks me up hugely to stop and chat with you, smile, sometimes laugh very hard and always get a big hug.

xxoo

Anni

 

[mamachick]

Annie I am with you on the excel=toooo funny. Anyway, the problem is when I go to the garage is when I remeber that I last used the ladder in the attic. UMMM. And then I remeber that I need toothpaste, wheres my post it list, so I go looking for that wal mart list (cant find it) but found the last months priority to do list-uh op. The only good part is even during menopause it keeps me thin from running all over looking for stuff in a 4 story house (aguess I should thank the ex for buying it huh) lol You guys do make me laugh and so early in the day

Happy holiday weekend to all

 

[anni]

Hahahahahaha Brat!!!! YES! I hadn't thought about the menopause connection but you're completely RIGHT!! Plus, when one gets to Walmart, how many times does the dam list get left either in the car or back on the kitchen table anyway? Huh. Maybe I should limit myself to 1 of everything again and keep the encrouching waistline back down there. The 10 of everything perspective arose through the whole PTSD tendency for every dam item to dissolve in the house as soon as it comes through the door.If you have 10, you just plain bump into at least ONE while wandering around the house eventually. This place is my own private Bermuda triangle of hair brushes, umbrellas, car keys, nail clippers, dog leashes, hats, gloves, Advil, pens, pencils ( 50 of those but lost count ) hair ties, lighters and phones. My poor husbands things have gotten sucked into the vortex also- he is unaware of the situation but also has 10 of anything I might have to put my finger on which he might ask me about.I'm pretty sure he still thinks he only has 1 Phillips head screw driver but his collection has grown considerably over the years- he just thinks I'm much better than I used to be when he says " Babe, would you grab the Phillips head for me" and instead of a half an hour wait, well, there it is!

Gloria is extremely adept with forms of organizing on top of this PTSD thing, plus doesn't look as if menopause has yet camped on her doorstep. :) Being Gloria, she'll be happy to help me if I asked, with setting up a spread sheet but I am SURE even with her patience she'd be ready to throw me into her duck pond after 12 minutes of me saying, " So where do you turn it on? ".

Thanks also for the laughs, and I know Gloria is also not minding a bit we're hooting on her thread. She makes me cry most days- even when she's completely 'poof' with dreck in her life she'll then tack something on at the end which is just plain fall-over funny. It's always dangerous to put on one's masacra before checking out what Gloria is up to that day. :D

xo

Anni

 

[intothelight]

Have either of you seen my mascara?????

 

[Gloria]

ITL,
I've been so overwhelmed by this lawsuit, that I haven't been much of a supporter to others. I do think of you often and hope you are well. I'm really starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel so I will try to read your posts!
Hugs!

Brat,
I told my therapist what a blessing it was to communicate with someone with a similar experience. You have helped me tremendously to validate and understand my own feelings. I thought I should have gotten over this emotionally but the fear, anger and confusion still remain. But it's normal because what happened to us was so mind boggling - nice women don't get beat up by the police??

Anni,
God wasn't good to me in many ways but my menopause symptoms were almost non-existant. I loved having hot flashes. I thought it felt good? I thought I was having hot flashes because I was waking up in the middle of the night feeling very warm but my doctor and I figured out that I had three dogs and a cat sleeping in my bed with the door closed and so I wasn't having hot flashes. I was going through pet-a-pause. I sleep with the window open now.

You are computer-phobic that's all. I think I will send you the spreadsheet with instructions. I know that you have the problem with your wrists so it might be harder for you to type than write. (By the way, your handwriting is so exquisite. It really shows how beautiful you are!). I type 120 words per minute. I started typing on manual typewriters (I am old!!) but now with computers, the words fly out. I still can't text though. I definitely should not drive and text! I can't even dial a phone number when I'm driving without riding off the road so I have made it a rule that if I'm driving, I don't answer my cell. Yesterday, I went to Goodwill and when I was walking in the parking lot, I was talking on my phone. Boy! I am a real blonde! Walked right in front in a car! Why because it's only polite to look at people when you are talking to them. So was I looking where I was going? NO! I am looking at my cell phone because someone was talking to me.

Hope everyone has an absolutely wonderful weekend! It's raining outside here. I have my mystery man coming to stay with me all weekend. Then because everyone who lives in Chicago wants to drive out to the country to see the farm, I will have a parade of friends stopping out. I feel like I run a petting zoo sometimes! People actually drive by my farm and pull in and ask to pet my animals. People actually point to goats and ask what kind of animal that is! People don't know how to tell a boy horse from a girl horse! My sister (God rest her soul) asked me if the goats were male or female when she saw me milking them in the barn. I told her I would really hope that these goats were female or I'm doing something really perverted!!!

Hugs and lots of love!!! Anni, I do hope you and hubby get away this weekend!
Gloria