General Any Of You Carers Have Your Own Emotional Issues?

[Nerdanna]

Angus and valdoodle,
I am keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Nerdanna

 

[Angus McGee]

Thank you, and Valdoodle, I know how you feel.

 

[valdoodle]

I think there have been two sides to my past 14 years living with a PTSD sufferer. They have been the most wonderful and exciting, loving years of my life and the most damaging, lonely and frustrating. I think the latter has taken its toll. When I look back on the times I have been desperate for help, lonely, worried he was going off with another woman and frightened, I coped (the bad times I quickly forgot when it became good again). I have been emotionally damaged by it all. My emotions are all over the place.

How do I recover from that. We have both come out of it alive. Somehow. Today is another day.

 

[Nicolette]

Sadly Angus I think you are coming to terms with how devastating this illness can be and how it destroys relationships. Gone is your hope and admirable belief that all would be good...... it happens, it is not fair and it is about the other person too.

How do you get through this I guess is the same question Sufferers ask themselves in dealing with the illness and overcoming it. :confused:

My heart goes out to you but please allow yourself to feel and to talk - don't bottle it up whatever you do. Hang in there.

 

[valdoodle]

I think that goes for me too Nicolette. Thank you.

 

[ISupportHer]

Angus,

I don't respond to you each and every time but when I see your posts I really do identify with what you say. Sure, my situation is not the same as far as relationship, but I think you are where I was at when I first came to this forum.

I want to say frankly that I hope you honestly evaluate the level of your mood. I have read several times that you have trouble and are crying. Crap, I couldn't be alone in the car and drive from one place to the other without fighting tears. It can become all consuming. I am glad you can post those intimate details here. As you see, you are very much supported here.

But, if your mood gets to the "life interference" level, I hope you can talk to your Doctor. Did I? No. Should I have? Yes. Maybe even now.

Just a comment with care in my heart. Like I said, I feel like I identify with a lot you say as far as reactions and feelings.

ISH

 

[Angus McGee]

When you say "doctor", do you mean your family doctor? I don't think the issues I'm having can be helped by going to see our regular doctor. If I do go see anyone, it will need to be someone a little more understanding of emotional issues. It seems to me family doctors just want to throw pills at you, and I don't want that.

What I need is hope. Some sort of resolution.

What I want to see is her improving, able to interact with us, and eventually move back home. Yesterday was hard, but I think part of it was that I was up with our son in the night, and barely got any sleep. I know that lack of sleep amplifies an already stressed situation, and makes things seem much worse.

A lot of times, I come on this board just to vent. Yesterday was one of those times.

Thanks for all the encouragement, folks.

 

[ISupportHer]

Sure, and it's OK to vent. Yes I meant family Doctor. My wife, for example, had been on one medication, Prozac, for maybe 5 years before the feces hit the oscillating air mover. I am betting with the sheer amount of money spent on anti-depressants in this country alone, that most just get them from a family Doctor. Some just transiently, I'd imagine. Doesn't mean everyone is seeing a Psychiatrist.

I am not saying you need to get to the Doctor right now and get put on something. But for a lot of people, just a little help elevating the mood makes a huge difference in their day to day functioning. I don't know, maybe I over compensate in my suggestions since I don't have the option here.

And hey, as far as medications, I'm just a guy in a glass house throwing stones. :)

ISH

 

[Angus McGee]

I just went through and re-read my messages. Man, was I messed up yesterday!

One thing that I'm taking as a positive sign, is that whenever I go over to her apartment, she has food prepared that she has made from scratch for me to take home. She has never been much into cooking, and I believe she is doing it as a form of self-therapy. If it's workng for her, great. Plus, it seems to me that she is sending stuff home with me as a form of maintaining a connection with us. I appreciate that. Also, it could be that she is trying to assuage the guilt she feels for leaving us. Maybe both. I don't know.

I also asked her if she would like to come over for dinner once her therapy has started to help. She had no objections to that. Again, another good sign.

 

[amethist]

We are all allowed bad days Angus, this is a s tough for supporters as it is for sufferers. We just dont always show it, because we feel we should be strong for them.

Unfortunately, we like them are only human, and sometimes, something has to give. I gave out this morning, once hubby was sorted, but it took another post I was reading, for me to finally ope the flood gates.

Dont feel guilty for having days like yesterday, it shows you are also processing what is going on.

Take care Angus, your a great guy.

Amethist

 

[Angus McGee]

Thanks, Am.

You're right. This is tough.

I miss our talks the most. I used to just pour my heart out about everything with her. And she the same with me. Now, because of the PTSD, I have to choose what I say, how I say it, etc. That is very hard.

I wish that I had more understanding about the symptoms of PTSD, before this all hit the fan. I may have been able to see it coming, and get her help sooner. That is neither here nor there now. What has happened has happened.

The past can't change. We have to learn from it, and make more informed decisions in the future.

 

[BigBear]

she has food prepared that she has made from scratch for me to take home.

There's Caring there. Even if she can't show it in other ways, its there. Yes, I'd say a very good sign!

Bear