Thank you. No, Bear, I know my son won't do the same thing as my husband has done. He has gone through periods of being non-communicative, but he seems to be finished with that for the most part. I know he has moved to Minnesota from California and is getting help from the VA. It really wasn't available for him in CA in a way he was able to use. I talk to him often but infrequently. Like I said, communication lessens when he is having a rough time. He has gotten a job and is living with a girlfriend.
My husband is getting help. it's just that sometimes I feel so alone, and I feel betrayed. I understand it is from trauma that they couldn't handle. I get that. I start thinking about the man I knew, and looking at this man I don't know, and I can't stand some of the things he does, his interests have changed so much, and I find them offensive -- even creepy. Sometimes it seems like he has lost his mind. Well, I just realized that I was angry. I stood by him and loved him and then he rejected me after 29 years. He now realizes he has a problem and he's working on 'coming back'. I get stuck in these thoughts of feeling betrayed because he isn't who he was. I'm angry when I think of the past or what should be, or what I hope will be. I forget to be present. Instead I fret over what was, or what should be, and I get angry at what is. I feel alone. I feel sad, and I withdraw. It isn't good.
