Warning Signs Of Suicide

[Mercy]

Good move on your part. Having someone to listen and be with you and who can handle what shit we need to get out is a very good thing.

 

[soulofLC]

The pain can be so debilitating. I am feeling it today like I haven't in a long time. No support, little understanding from family. Yes, a broken arm, diabetes...they all will get sympathy. No one to sign my brain!! I feel like my heart is breaking. My son, his girlfriend and grandchild stood me up today for Thanksgiving. Am I that hard to be around? I am feeling like they are the toxic ones. Could I be right? They know, or don't want to know about me; they don't seem to consider or care. I have put myself out there for them with love and with all I had to give, but that cannot fix the problems, the shame, the stigma. Perhaps it is just too hard to be with me. I think I may have to cut ties, which is very very painful, but I just can't take the rejection anymore. I love my grandbaby, I love my son, but I think I have to take care of me. If that means going off by myself for a while, then so be it. I have an appointment with a new therapist on Monday. I hope he can give some sage advice. I thought a lot about suicide today...how to do it and make it look like an accident so it wouldn't hurt anyone too much. Then I thought about how to do it so it would hurt them. I am so confused and need help badly. I'll make it; I am a survivor. I am just in so much pain and tired of not being able to do the things I did before this happened.

 

[Mercy]

I hear you.

 

[soulofLC]

Thank you for this post. I need the list.

I am having to deal with the unthinkable...my 10 year old granddaughter who is the absolute light of my life, wrote in her diary that " I want to commit suicide. I hate my mother. I wish I had another one" I am numb with pain; to think that she is suffering so bad and no one knew.

I guess she did let her mother know by leaving her diary where she could read it, a sign perhaps that she is asking for help. Otherwise, I am in shock.

Mood disorders run in the family rampant like a bull in a china shop. I pray that we can get this under control. Her mother is taking it seriously; she has appt for granddaughter with therapist next week. She is the most amazingly smart, sensitive, beautiful, oh yeah, I am her grandmother, but it is all true.

She has given so much love and is so generous and has given so much of herself in such a short time. She delights us all with her sense of humor and intelligence, not to mention how caring and loving she is. My heart is breaking I am so scared for her.

 

[Sandra]

Sorry to hear about how she is feeling but glad something is being done about it. I wish her luck.

 

[soulofLC]

Thank you Sandra, it is so odd that the new age when parents have to worry about suicide is so young...my daughter is extra scared because she has a friend whose 10 year old child just went in the closet and hung herself. No warning. At least my granddaughter is reaching out in her own way for help. But my daughter is petrified to leave her. I am as well. I wish I were there now making her laugh, doing puzzles. Is this only in this crazy culture in the states? Because I don't know, it seems that things are weird and distorted here in many ways, but I suppose we are not the only ones??????

 

[soulofLC]

OK, I have to get off the cultural disfunction thing...not helpful. Like I said, mood disorders on both sides for my grandchild. I have to have faith that it will be resolved. I can't go on without it on top of what I am dealing with myself. My stress cup runneth over...

 

[maddog]

Sadly, statistics over recent years do show an alarming decrease in the average age for youth suicide. In the state in which I live, the youngest victim last financial year was aged 9.

Maddog

 

[soulofLC]

Incredible. Any explanation in sight? Sometimes I feel our culture is coming apart at the seams. However, even thought I grew up in the 50's, I can remember at a very young age thinking about suicide, looking at a drawer of knives and thinking "they would be sorry." (my parents)

 

[Truckinjoan]

I have always thought about "disappearing" for good. The other kids and my parents always called me names...faggot, dyke,fatso, butch. Before it was okay to be myself, then I got stabbed for standing up for myself.

 

[soulofLC]

Truckinjoan, I cannot even begin to say how sorry I am that happened to you. Words cannot express it. You did nothing to deserve it. You must remember that. You are being who you are, and that shows how much strength you have. There is much ignorance and intolerance; but there is also love and light. Keep looking for the crack where the light gets in. The fact that you are here shows that you have strength to reach out for support, a group of like minded people.

I was also different in my family; a loner, a reader, involved in my music, my studies. They couldn't handle my difference (alas, Texas is not know for it's interest in education) so I was chided and set apart, both physically and emotionally. (we think you got accidentally switched at the hospital! ARGGG...) Sending hugs and good vibes for some peace and healing.

 

[Truckinjoan]

Thank you for your compassion. Your granddaughter is lucky to have you!
TJ