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Warning Signs Of Suicide

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I have to try to open up to people more, I know but im terrified of being left alone or betrayed more than anything because its happened so much.

I'm so sorry that's happened to you. I to have a morbid fear of allowing people to get close to me. I won't try to offer you advice on how to deal with that feeling because, frankly, I'm still working on figuring it out myself. Please feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about anything. The anonymity provided by the internet allows for something of a wall if one so desires. That's what makes forums like this so great
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I lost my older brother in 09 to suicide, Still to this day I am dealing with his loss. So besides my suffering from PTSD, Anxiety, I get the depression mostly from him. It was my last month I had in theater. I found out overseas he died from a stroke via red cross message. The night before the wake, I found out he comitted suicide.

Intresting though that thoughts of death are so closely related to suicide when PTSD is a huge main factor!
 
It's okay, and TY.
It always bothers me that I have constant thoughts racing through my mind about death and all of it's relations. I haven't gone one night in three years that my dreams haven't involved a death weather it be my own or someone elses and I have both my brother and the PTSD to thank for that.

Only thing I know how to do is same as each and every day, Live with it and figure maybe I'm one of the lucky ones who gets this challenge for the rest of his life.
 
Chaz one day at a time.
May you be surprised by a future filled with peace and joy- you really will enjoy it more because right now it seems impossible. -'right now'.
-TY too
 
:(
I have a very nasty professor who seems to be putting me on the defensive almost daily. She is harassing me and affecting me in such a negative way. I don't know how to not let her get to me. I stayed home from class today just to de stress. Only four more weeks to go and then I may be able to smile again. So much negativity from one person.

I hate to admit it here but I know it is a step in the right direction, I think, I know, karma bit me in the butt! Before my trauma I too was like her. She is affecting me in such a negative way because she reminds me of my pre trauma self. I wasn't mean and nasty but I did have to have the last word and did feel like I always had to prove a point. I had a very strong personality and you either loved me or you didn't. If you didn't, I didn't care. Today I am very different. Today, I do care how I am perceived. Today, things do affect me. Today, she affects me and I also wonder who I affected this way as well. :(
 
I'm sorry to hear about your professor, Jewel. That's pretty awful. But what an amazingly huge step that you're able to see a connection there. Maybe if you post up a thread about how she's acting we can brainstorm coping mechanisms for you? When I was young, I had the same strong personality, you either loved me or you didn't and I didn't care which.
 
when I talk to family (unreasonable) I just want to die. No suicide plan or even desire, Just hopeless I guess. There must be a belief that I cant survive without. i know I can. She tells me I a worthless and EVIL. Constant telling me i am evil and was a fat child. Makes no sense. Why are we so attached to family when they are so crappy?
 
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