Undiagnosed Drug-induced Psychosis Resulting In Ptsd

[Clockwork]

Hello, I’ve recently self-diagnosed myself with PTSD, after decades trying to understand what’s wrong with me and seeing umpteen therapists, psych docs, being in psych hospitals and the like and never having the descriptions of my state of mind taken seriously.

Yeah I know self-diagnosis is tricky but it’s some relief to finally have not only an intellectual label for what’s wrong with me but a model of the process itself that gives me some distance from the nightmare in my head.

To complicate things the traumatic event isn't a typical trauma, it was a period of paranoid psychosis resulting from taking psychedelics (lsd). Though the intensity of the psychosis wore off after a few weeks, the effects on my mind have not worn off even nearly forty years later.

Well you live with something for forty years you eventually get the hang of surviving despite it, but it’s only now that I’ve understood why a couple of psychotic bad trips could still be messing up my mind – the PTSD factor.

I expect my post here won’t get many views and I’ll likely post later in another forum, but I wondered if anyone else here has PTSD or horrific enduring after effects from drug related experiences?

Clockwork

 

[Sterre]

Hi there Clockwork!

How teribble that this happend to you! If I understand correctly, you have a trauma, because LSD caused a psychosis?
Did you suffer from more psychotic episodes after that, without using LSD? Or did it happend just once?

Maybe it is good to see a psychiatrist/ therapist to confirm your diagnosis? PTSD has a big overlap with other mental illnesses, therefor to recieve a proper treatment its important to get a correct diagnosis.
If you are likely to have psychotic episodes, not every treatment/medication is appropriate.
Good luck!

 

[Sterre]

My father suffers from shizoprhenia after he took loads of LSD in the sixties.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome to the Forum! You may get some negative input about self-diagnosis, but it's still worth doing the work regardless of others' opinion. Obviously this effected your whole life and you deserve the best in life, in spite of the choices you made so many years ago. The LSD obviously changed the chemistry of your brain, and no one can understand what that did.

I had a psychotic reaction to a Prozac/Prednisone mix, but the effects did not last.

I was lucky in my experimenting when I was young, but still blamed myself when my daughter was born with severe brain damage. I suspect you have blamed yourself for more, and when things happen you assume it is your fault? That guilt probably does more damage than anything else. (((clockwork)))

It is not too late to get better! Use every form of help available. EMDR, hypnosis, prayer, just don't give up!

 

[Clockwork]

Thank you Sterre and Angel for your welcome and kind words.

Sterre I’m sorry about your father – LSD can be pretty vicious and though the general research consensus seems to be that the drug alone ‘can’t’ cause psychosis without prior vulnerability to it, I have my doubts about that. It must have been really hard for you growing up with a schizophrenic father.

Yes you understood correctly, the LSD directly caused a psychosis which was horrifically traumatic. I re-experienced the psychosis to the same intensity once more, many years later (due to the effect of an anti-psychotic med), but had plenty of flashbacks over the years which each time I managed to eventually rationalize my way out of. The terror remains though :(

None of the people in the mental health industry I’ve seen have ever given me a diagnosis, I suspect that because I’m pretty ‘high functioning’ they don’t take me seriously – after all I wasn’t swinging from the chandeliers or displaying any sort of externally obvious symptoms, the nightmare was happening entirely inside my own head and when someone can relatively calmly sit there and explain rationally what’s wrong people tend to dismiss it as not serious.

Also bog standard therapists don’t diagnose and psychiatrists seem hell bent on prescribing meds without bothering to check first whether they’re appropriate or not. A bit like, here take this little coloured pill and come back in six months and we’ll see what effect it’s having. Grrrr. I have a long standing feud with the mental health industry because of what I perceive as its incompetence and indifference (all paranoia aside :whistling: .)

Angel I’m sorry too about your daughter. And yes self blame is a huge component in all of this stuff, thank you for understanding. That must have been scary for you too having a psychotic reaction to meds. I’m glad it was short lived, life’s fraught enough without supposedly beneficial drugs adding to the mix.

I like your optimism – and I agree, it’s never too late to get better. Though giving up sometimes has seemed inevitable, at least now allowing myself to understand that I’ve got a form of PTSD (albeit self diagnosed) has given me some sort of handle on what’s going on for me, makes it a bit easier to keep trying to sort this all out.

Thank you both for your kind welcome.

Clockwork

 

[anthony]

Yeah I know self-diagnosis is tricky but it’s some relief to finally have not only an intellectual label for what’s wrong with me but a model of the process itself that gives me some distance from the nightmare in my head.

How exactly did you come to the conclusion of PTSD in your self-diagnosis?

You need to rethink your entire approach to this, as you do not fit criterion A for PTSD diagnosis, and instead if you really want to slap a label on yourself, then you need aim in the more apt direction, being: Hallucinogen Disorders, which specifically covers psychosis from LSD.

Hallucinogen Disorders OR Hallucinogen Disorders

PTSD? No... not from a self induced psychosis.

Diagnosis is based on the most fitting surrounding the event. If you fit the event, then the symptoms are reviewed. You do not fit the diagnostic criteria for abnormally traumatic that meets PTSD event.

 

[Jade-]

I wondered if anyone else here has PTSD or horrific enduring after effects from drug related experiences?

Back in the day,I did huge quantities of acid, for an extended period of time. I developed a high tolerance and had to take twice/triple the amount that others did just to be able to feel anything from it.

I still have the occasional 'acid flashback',even this many years later. I have discussed it with my t before, and it's just something you have to learn to deal with. For instance, I can't watch certain movies or listen to any of 'The Doors' music without feeling like I did when I was tripping. And I also can't talk about when I used to do acid for very long, or even let myself think about it too long, because it affects me too much.

I used to think maybe I had permanently damaged myself from all of the drugs I have consumed in the past. That was the only excuse/explanation I could come up with for the way I felt,behaved,etc. But nearly 2 years ago I was diagnosed with PTSD,and it has nothing to do with all of the drugs I have done.

It sounds like you have convinced yourself that your problems stem from acid, when that's most likely not the case at all. Maybe you should go back to therapy,explain your symptoms, and let a professional help and diagnose instead of self diagnosing.

I'm curious, when you have gone for help, did you tell them that it was caused by acid? I can see why you wouldn't be taken seriously if that's what you have done. Forty years is an awful long time to suffer. Maybe it's time to let the professionals decide what's wrong so you can get better instead of blaming acid.

 

[Elisacullen21]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

PTSD? No... not from a self induced psychosis.

Yes, the LSD choice was made, but the psychosis that followed was not self-induced. Certainly no one would make the choice to go through a traumatic episode. Anthony is not a doctor, nor is tact his best quality. His opinions are opinions, not necessarily fact. His heart is in the right place as he has constructed this site to help others.

Obviously, you have only stated the 'condensed' version of your life since LSD, and many attempts to 'fix' the problem. You are not only the 'sum' of the LSD experiences, but other life happenings that may have taken place resulting in more trauma.

I am sure there are things here that you can learn to help you cope. Knowledge is power, and anything that empowers you can help, and is worth a try. Even if it doesn't 'fit' a specific label, it CAN be helped.

 

[anthony]

No, I'm not a doctor, though nor are doctors the member is seeing diagnosing with PTSD, or other disorders, because it doesn't work that way.

Diagnosis works like this. You fit into the diagnosis that accurately describes the problem. You do not cross diagnostic categories unless there is sufficient evidence to do so, outside of what an existing, more accurate diagnostic category depicts.

Read the DSM, you will understand this.

From reading everything said here, and factoring in that doctors also aren't following what the member is self-diagnosing themselves with, it makes perfect sense that PTSD is not even close to the correct diagnose for this person.

That may sound harsh, and you may not want to hear it... but it doesn't change the way diagnosis is done. You cannot self diagnose yourself with PTSD, its impossible. When physicians are also not diagnosing you with PTSD, it confirms it.

Therefore, no member above should be enticing or complementing such behaviour, when a person has clearly stated trained physicians are not providing the diagnosis either. They would be basing this on exactly what I have stated above.

It does not meet criteria A, and foremost, there is a more accurate diagnostic category that befits the event/s endured, being a state of psychosis that comes and goes due to a LSD trip.

When professionals aren't heading towards PTSD, you don't just take yourself there. Everything to do with trauma in a life is not PTSD.

 

[anthony]

Oh... and clockwork, I'm not trying to offend you, I am simply stating the evidence on diagnosis based on what you have provided.

There is a relevant diagnosis for your issue, but it's not PTSD I'm sorry to say.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Clockwork,

May you find support and healing for your condition.

Drug-induced fragmentation does exist, it does have treatment, even if it isn't PTSD.

"We find examples of this breakdown of the illusory self in certain forms of reactions to excessive use of recreational drugs, such as marijuana. A young woman of 19 who had used marijuana extensively since the age of 14 described an occasion when she had smoked some particularly potent variety on her own. She had felt overwhelmed with utter dread and terror, believing that she was going to die, but feeling totally unable to communicate the nature of her anxiety. Since then she had often felt prone to anxiety and panic, as well as chronic feelings of depersonalisation. I suspect that such a state of mind, precipitated by marijuana poisoning, involves a partial decathexis of language - by which I mean language in the broadest sense of all the structures of symbol and meaning that underpin the organisation of our phenomenal world. This decathexis means that the net of language and symbol which normally holds us, supporting our sense of self and identity - our location in a particular cultural, social and familial matrix, at a particular point in history - falls away, leaving the subject stranded in an empty psychological space. Without words we cannot adequately reach out to others. Without words - the mother tongue given in lullabies of our earliest interactions - our experience becomes dumb and beyond the reach of empathy." Source: http://www.selfpsychologypsychoanalysis.org/mollon.shtml

It would be very damaging to self-diagnose and 'treat' such issues based upon any information just gleaned via the Internet, or anywhere else, without input from a safe, neutral, skilled 3rd party because we are unable to know where we truly are.

Perhaps you will meet a PTSD diagnosis, though I hope not for your sake...it would be great if nobody ever got this diagnosis again!

Perhaps you'll be fortunate and get a diagnosis of something that is accurate and has a successful treatment.

But you'll never know if you don't seek help. I hope you will do so.

Before my diagnosis, I decided that spending my time, energy trying to prove I 'fit' a possibly inaccurate diagnosis that may derail my healing wasn't going to help me. So though it was terrifying, I made an appointment and went through the assessment.

I'm so glad I did. It truly is the shortest distance between suffering and healing.

May you find help that brings you profound healing and joy.