Suicidal Thoughts, Don't Know What To Do.

[Girl3]

Thank you Helliepig - I figured someone must know across the pond or down-under. I know here in the US it would be a law suit.

 

[Bimble]

Thanks for your perspective Helliepig. I have raised it before with my manager, but also my therapist, as it caused a great deal of anxiety for me at the time and shortly after. My therapist was shocked and understood how it would make me feel like I did. I have started looking for other jobs which will take me away from these reports and the constant reinforcement of my condition.

I need to speak to someone about all of this but don't know where to begin. When I reflect on what has happened and how little my work have done to resolve my concerns I feel so angry. The manager at the time was only a contractor and so not employed directly with the trust, but I am guessing he still has the same commitment to patient confidentiality and safety of information? Your advice and perspective would be useful to know what I should do about it.

 

[Helliepig]

I was in a meeting a few months back where another manager of mine was presenting something and there was my name! Up on the large projector screen in front of managers and clinicians. It wasn't the only name up there, other patient names were there. This freaked me out, as (for me) my name stood out like a sore thumb. Of course, it could have been someone else with the same name, but some of these people know my problems so could have put 2 and 2 together.

Hi brat17.
A similar incident happened earlier on in the year when a colleague was doing analysis on the system and found me through a unique client ID which, at the time was complete fluke,

. and I end up producing reports where my name is included as one of those open referrals...I can't seem to escape the fact I have a mental health condition, cos everyday there's some bloody report where my name is listed as a client.

.

If our managers at the trust ever want info about referrals or whatever - anything - they can only have NHS numbers NEVER anything that is identifiable as a patient.
The whole point of confidentiality is that people can feel completely secure in their clinical team because NOTHING about them - nothing that can identify them - will be shown to ANYONE else. That is absolutely all there is to it. We can't give out any information - not even whether someone has been to our surgery - to anyone else other than for very rare instances of great importance - life or death for instance

Sometimes under the Freedom of Information act, we could be asked "how many patients do you have with a certain condition" which we have to give but even though this is law, if there are so few people on that list that someone might be identifiable from it, a clinician has the right to judge it is not to be disclosed...

There is NO reason why managers need names and they should never be given them without express WRITTEN consent of the patients involved. Honestly, this is making me mad!!!

My advice would be to write down the specifics - dates, people, whatever you can remember or find, and approach the Information Governance team or the Caldicott Guardian or even approach one of the clinical staff for advice.

This needs to be stopped. There are cases where patient's details have accidentally been faxed to wrong numbers or sent to wrong patients, and the responsible organistaion has been fined thousands. And it has ended up in press too.. So it should.

You shouldn't have to be embarrassed or compromised about your health in front of colleagues. You have every right to feel angry and upset - I would to - and expect it to STOP.

hope that helps

 

[Bimble]

This concerns me. It is common practice to allow business managers and performance managers to have access to reports with patient names on it. This is a prime example of what happened when I saw my name, the team who is treating me and the clinicians or health care professionals. This is why it scares me to death that people might know more about my condition, then they should.

I have to live my life, day in day out like this, with no escape. At least if I worked elsewhere I wouldn't be reminded of it during the day. But then I think, why the hell should I have to work elsewhere! I feel let down by my employer, they don't seen to care. It us only occupational therapists who I seem to be able to talk to.

Who do you think I can raise these issues with? I really don't feel my managers have my best interests at heart. I also worry like hell about my patient confidentiality.

 

[Helliepig]

How about PALS- patient advocacy and liaison service - they're the ones that can help fight your corner as a patient. Or one of you doctors. Or, like I said your trust will have someone whose job it is to keep information safe - find out who that is and go to them. Sounds like a can of worms needs to be sorted out

 

[Girl3]

In the US, patient names are to be whited out on hard copies, edited out on computerized forms - never is a patient's name on anything except in the clinical medical record.

For instance, when we do case reviews - the patient name is whited out for the copies handed to committee members. Those copies are taken back and shredded after the meeting.

I hope this can be resolved quickly and well for you.

 

[Helliepig]

Yes same in uk, even presenting to other doctors it is only ever "patient A".

 

[Dianezz]

Last year I had 4 different p-docs as they moved on. I was attached to two of them. One kept me on to honor his promise of not leaving...but was later transfered farther away.

I have been in therapy about 12 years. Had to move 7 years ago and start over. I went through two duds of therapists and then after getting a new pdoc and in the hospital for 2 weeks ( my 13th visit), I was transferred to a new therapist. She was great FINALLY...but we really never hit on hot topics. I had her two years and I did come out of a very deep depression while with her. Due to insurance, I had to get a new t and p-doc last november.

I was triggered by the pennstate issue and was just at a point of getting even worse. (I had a bad year last year, but therapy did not seem to help). SO now I had been given a fresh start and I took to my new T right away...I felt she really cared and all that jazz. I told her all the ugly truths about myself and tortured myself while doing so. We really never did any digging since we were new to each other and needed to pace. However, my flashbacks and pain was so frequent.

She told me this week that she is leaving the practice. I told her I did not care...lie. At the end of the session she turned from me and I began to ball my eyes out. She said that was good of course. My new T came in for a sec so that I could meet him. He seems fine...is the top of the line at the practice. Only makes me think I am more crazy and needed an extra qualified replacement.

So I had planned to finally suicide this coming week AFTER my boys birthdays...19 and 22 yrs old. I am not sure how I did this, but I stopped the action. But it still felt as though my T had ripped a bandaid off my burns.

I have no support. My husband abused me for 20 plus years. He has gotten a few years of help and does not do it any more. But is DONE with pschyo stuff and is not supportive...also no friends or family. But I have such PTSD feelings regarding my husband LET ALONE my abuse from childhood.

Anyway, today he yelled at me (has been quite a long time since that has happened) It felt again like a bandaid was ripped off my burns. I don't know how long I can stop from suicide. I don't want to have the re tell my new T everything..I just want him to know and to really care. This is my first post..don't know if I screwed up. Just let me know.

 

[Bimble]

Hi Dianezz. I've only been like this for a year, but it feels like 10 so your situation must be just awful. I am so sorry to hear of your pain. I had many sessions with a therapist who helped to a degree, but only scratched the surface. About a month ago I just hit rock bottom. Scared myself thinking about ending it and having to write a reason to live list. Totally freaked me out.

Work don't understand, cannot bear to drive past the building and stair case where I fell.

Last week I saw a psychiatrist who performed emdr and I could not believe the difference just this one session made. I am having another session this week and next as I feel this therapy is helping. However, I still feel freaked and anxious when I think about the stairs and building where it happened. So, I need to take control of my life from here on. It's the only way I can stay on top of these feelings and feel like I am conquering it. It's bloody hard and it takes every single ounce of resolve and strength but I have to get through this for my kids, if nothing else.

Please persist with finding good help through therapy or psychiatry. There are definitely good ones and bad (ineffectual) ones but you will find a therapist and therapy which helps you. We are all different and don't respond to the same things but emdr definitely seems to do something which everything else could not even begin to achieve for me.

 

[Bimble]

Hi guys. I'm due back to work next week, having been off since middle of Feb. My EMDR seems to be going well and I feel in. different mindset as a result.

I drove past my work the other day, past the building where I had my accident, to see how I felt about it. I felt I needed to confront it head on before I returned. I was not prepared for the sudden rush of fear, anxiety and flashbacks I instantly had as I approached the door to my building. it was so overwhelming. I tried to push myself but just couldn't do it.

I had a terrible night that night, with flashbacks and nightmares which kept me up all night. I thought I wad doing so well until this.

I don't know what to do. it feels like all the good work from my emdr has been undone in one go. What can I do? I'd really appreciate your advice.

 

[Srain]

Hey Bimble,

I'm sorry you had such a reaction but I don't think anything was "undone" you just had a reaction and are feeling the effects of exposure. I wonder did you discuss doing this with your therapist first before passing by there? Have you worked on any grounding techniques? Did you discuss the possibility of stressors? All of these would be things might be common when dealing with trauma.

Please don't feel discouraged. It's not a quick fix deal but rather a process. I'm glad that you had found relief when you first went to therapy and you will again.

Please take care of yourself.
Peace and healing,
Rain

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes I think Rain is right, it's a process and a sign of progress.
((((Hugs)))