Suicidal Thoughts, Don't Know What To Do.

[Tinyflame]

A mistake more than a betrayal of trust it sounds like.
But confidentiality is a huge issue.

 

[Bimble]

Thanks Junebug. If it was me though, and I had left notes on my desk relating to conversations I'd had with a patient, I would be shot down in flames and rightly so! Even if it were a doctor, who left notes 'by mistake' on his table whilst he went out for a quick coffee, he still should have known better and should not be able to pass it off as just a 'mistake'. I feel really strongly about this.

Mistakes happen, I get that. But there are certain things which should just NOT happen and this is one of them, in my opinion. He is a senior manager, he's been on information governance courses, he deals with confidential information every day, he knows what should be done with regards to dealing with sensitive information.

It just makes me feel very awkward now at work because potentially these notes were looked at and now everyone has a good idea of my current mental state and health issues!!! Talk about one step forward and three steps backward at the moment.

 

[Tinyflame]

I understand Bimble, and agree.

But I wouldn't assume they've read it, or more likely you would have come in to find them (continuing) to do so. Whatever you choose to do about it, and rightfully so, carry on and let it go out of your mind, in terms of co-workers. You don't need more worries or unnecesary fears affecting you, or your job performance.
Carry on with your healing, this too shall pass.

 

[Bimble]

I know Junebug. I shouldn't get caught up in it all - got enough going on in my life at the moment to have this worry too. Just can't cope with it all at the moment, feel like I'm in a pressure cooker all the time.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes, you have to take steps to bring the adrenaline down, self-care, sleep, try to not overthink, then deal with it as rationally as possible.

 

[mamachick]

So I had planned to finally suicide this coming week AFTER my boys birthdays...19 and 22 yrs old. I am not sure how I did this, but I stopped the action. But it still felt as though my T had ripped a bandaid off my burns.

I have no support. My husband abused me for 20 plus years. He has gotten a few years of help and does not do it any more. But is DONE with pschyo stuff and is not supportive...also no friends or family. But I have such PTSD feelings regarding my husband LET ALONE my abuse from childhood.

Anyway, today he yelled at me (has been quite a long time since that has happened) It felt again like a bandaid was ripped off my burns. I don't know how long I can stop from suicide. I don't want to have the re tell my new T everything..I just want him to know and to really care. This is my first post..don't know if I screwed up. Just let me know.

I think you need to tell your new T everything. Maybe you can write a summary so you dont have to go into every detail.Often the thought of suicide is a last resort for just wanting the pain to stop and to escape.
Many of us have thought of this as a last resort when we loose hope. I have been thinking of it recently-howverver-I promise I will not do it. If it gets worse I will go to the hospital.

Do you have a plan of how you would do it? Please tell your therapist all of this. The details of what has happened in the past is not as important to T as what you are thinking and feeling right now. Please promise you will go to your ER before you take any action. It is a permenant response to a temporary problem.

 

[mamachick]

It just makes me feel very awkward now at work because potentially these notes were looked at and now everyone has a good idea of my current mental state and health issues!!! Talk about one step forward and three steps backward at the moment.

SHAME ON THEM-NOT YOU. You have no reason to be ashamed. Those who would read your file is the ones that should feel shame.