Any Practical Suggestions? Work, Exhaustion, Spontaneous Si, At The End Of My Rope

[Deleted member 12723]

I am thinking of you. I hope you are ok. Big hugs.

 

[mamachick]

Your life is worth fighting for. Hugs

 

[2narcissa]

Wow, you sound like me. I wonder do you eat a lot of meat or consume dairy? I felt better when I cut those out completely. A smoothie for breakfast also makes me feel good.

I haven't been to work in a while, I just don't have any energy either.

Sometimes it's good to set a goal, any goal you'd like to accomplish then work to wards it. Hopefully it can boost your moral and motivation.

 

[JustBe]

That's true, nutrition can play a huge part. I am much less reactive and scattered since I cut out all dairy, meat and processed foods.

 

[mamachick]

This is true about nutrition. I find that I need a holistic approach. I have forgot how to do more than mereley survive. I smoke too much, dont exercise (although do much physical work and steps all day long), eat very poorly living alone, gave up all hobbies, work, social, etc. Very insidious, little by little, have come to just exist. Just went back to counseling. Told her I want a ptsd rehab program. We are looking into.

I dont know if others feel this way, but I do not need a hospital environment, Im not expecting a resort, but need an environment like a half way house for ptsd ers, even addictions, other disorders such as depression, but for those of us who have fallen from life and need to relearn life skills.

I am in US. What I have found is that cost around 1000 per day, average stay is 27 days, and my insurance will not pay for a treatment program such as this-called "residential treatment facility" that has a nurse 24 hrs per day and intensive therapy group and individual, 12 step, yoga, art therapy, psychodrama, etc.

Insurance will pay for in pt treatment where dr is available 24 hrs (hospital environment). But I have been unable to locate any that specialize in ptsd and secondary problems (eating disorders, addictions, etc.) They will pay for GI tests, headache tests, etc and all the pain and sleeping pills one can take year after year without any positive results. What a joke.

 

[mamachick]

Hosptials near me have crisis units. No air or sunlight, no exercise, no cooking or getting back into life routine. I find them quite inhumane unless one is in crisis-then they are very good. The groups are just a reason to keep the patients awake on their new meds, or to see if they are awake and alert and monitor side effects.
A goal group for an hour with 15 people. Answers are like, goal to take a shower, goal to fill out menu, goal to ask dr if I can go home. Then there is the feeling group-all say they are happy so they can go home. Then there is the coping group. What things can you do to cope when you get angry or sad, answers are: smoke some weed, smack that biatch, buy a new outfit, have sex. Staff just nod at all of this.

There is no individual therapy, not group talk therapy, just the stupid groups. They serve a purpose when things are bad enough.

 

[Springer80]

Hi JB,

How are you feeling today? I found this for you.

XXXXX

 

[Springer80]

This is true about nutrition. I find that I need a holistic approach. I have forgot how to do more than mereley survive..... gave up all hobbies, work, social, etc. Very insidious, little by little, ....I dont know if others feel this way, but I do not need a hospital environment....

.... but for those of us who have fallen from life and need to relearn life skills.

Hi,

I'm in a similar position. I've got rid of all my addictions, my eating isn't great but I have chronic fatigue apparently. I do in a way but its normal. They say I'm ill, I say this is the closest to okay I've ever been. There is a strange paradox that the medical profession want you to ignore so you are complicit with their translation of events. Trauma is something most people actively avoid and people want it to just go away. Because it wont without other peoples help over time they don't know what to do with you. So I'm in this situation where work think I can't cope with reality but actually I just can't live a lie anymore, doctors think I'm ill (or its in my head) and I think my physical downfall has brought me back to a re-set position. My mum thinks that perhaps she should take legal control over my affairs (the most delayed intervention ever!) but I am more in tune with what I actually need for my own good than I ever have been. I just have not used any of this stuff before. I feel like I have to make my brain re-learn me. If I'd had a car accident people would get it. I'm not mad, I haven't had a breakdown. I do however have to start over and inorder to do that I have maintain enough distance and autonomy from the box ticking bas***ds as I can. Its a bit trippy because inorder to keep them at bay you have to throw them something and if you get too honest about trauma they don't like it.

The fact is I'm normal for what I've been through. It's just that my resulting behavior due to extreme physical strain doesn't fit into the received pattern. That's the problem really. I'm trying to figure out a third option where my particular pattern can live alongside without it attracting any unhelpful attention.


The re-learning me bit is hard because my freeze response restricts any potential negative explorations:bag: . And my physical burnout means I don't want any draining experiences :sleep: . Its a slow burner...:confused::bookworm:

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Springer, everyone, thank you so much, and in your own need, too. My prayers and hugs for you.

I have tried twice to post but somehow it keeps deleting. I will, I am just not up to it.

Dear Bloom, thank you for saying my life is worth it. To grasp that, is quite unbelievable. But reminds me of something my mom would say. Though I don't think short of this forum anyone in my real life feels that way. But I am so lucky, for the people here. I love you, too Bloom. I just don't know what to do, a Hospital visit I think would be devastating. Yet, like you say, the alternative well it's worse. I just can't imagine surviving after such a thing. I think what you said means more (or better) than a Hotline. (((((xoxoxox)))))), with all my heart. I think if not for you, and your words, Idk what. What an incredibly sweet person you are. How strong, how kind, xoxoxoxox, :inlove:, thank you for such kindness.

Dear p-no, your post is right, the nothingness, the 'date' (like spring). Thank you so much. And to everyone.

Apparently sister's ex-SO, did some smearing on FB, then texted her this morning to drive to his place (out of town)- ? She is on the phone with 2 sisters on the other side of the country. She's contemplating selling house here, and purchasing their condo up for sale there, if there is feasible employment, etc.

Again, I'm sorry I can't respond individually more, thank you everyone, you are all so kind. :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh Springer, to me there is nothing 'wrong' with you, and you've come so very far. There must be a place we fit, after trauma. I think most of us just want to live in peace, accept the accomodations we need to make, not hurt each other, be able to live. ((((((((Super Big Hugs))))).

 

[Springer80]

((((((((Super Big Hugs))))).

And doubly back for you......
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Junebug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[nimkekaa]

I have not been on for a couple days but it's interesting that I have been thinking about you the last couple weeks and noticing that you have not been on as much lately.

I have been in that black hole feeling before and it's not easy to see solutions when you are there.

I agree with Bloom that if you were having a heart attack then you would be at the hospital. I too believe that this is as serious. I don't know where you live but can you get some goverment financial support? I have just started receiving disability and it was very hard to accept the help. I am doing it because I need to heal and my children don't need to suffer while I do it. Is there a possibility that you can get some sort of disability support? My PTSD was the major factor in determining disability eligability.

I wish there was something I could do to help. I have always found your posts very supportive on this forum and hope that you can get the support that you need and deserve. You give so much, it's your turn to be on the receiving end for a while.

Big hugs for you and I will be thinking about you and sending strenght vibes your way.