AnkhMichael
New Here
I feel the same way. Sensitivity to movement...
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Analogy: "my Hypervigilance Feels Like..."
- Post starter BloomInWinter
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I feel the same way. Sensitivity to movement...
Sometimes it feels like walking or running through one of those carnival funhouses/haunted houses where I keep seeing things keep jumping out at me from the shadows, hearing sounds echoing through the building, scaring the **** out of me and I stop to try and gather myself and sometimes I look in those crazy mirrors and see everything is all skewed, but I can't find my way out.
BrazenBull
Silver Member
My hypervigilance feels like I am able to see horrible things that don't exist.... weird IK
._. also touch movement and sound are kinda ... well I can't think of a word for it lol
._. also touch movement and sound are kinda ... well I can't think of a word for it lol
It feels like so much is going on around me that I can't focus on any one thing. My heart is racing and I can calculate the inevitable awful outcome of any and all barely perceivable threats. It's like the treble knob on my stereo is maxed out and screaming and certain noises/frequencies are like fingernails down a blackboard.
KP the nut
VIP Member
All sound is amplified. All sound is dangerous.
- Post starter
- #18
BloomInWinter
VIP Member
In one community I was an EMT in, we were 'it' for 'well-being' checks some evenings. There might... *might* be the one county officer available to meet us in the small towns but sometimes not.
We had several 'well-being checks' that ended up with finding dead people, decaying bodies...ugh. Ok, thought I could go here but cannot.
Suffice to say, I remember one call where we didn't know if we were going to find a suicide/homicide, OD, or what. Got to this run down farm...a creepy cold fall night, dark...and my partner and I asked for assistance only to be told there was none. Which happened alot in those days.
We were staying side by side, with mag lights in hand...and I walked into either a shed or a barn. I could feel the cold sweat running down my back...my teeth were chattering, I could feel the cold night air freezing my mouth and throat and lungs...I felt like every sound was magnified 10,000 times. I was checking for smells...gas? decomposing body? gunsmoke? Listening for everything I could...animal scurrying? Branches brushing the side of the building?
In the darkness, I got a feeling of being watched over my right side...My legs went weak and I turned....
THAT. THAT is the feeling of hypervigilance.
In that moment, what I felt...ready to be attacked, ready to run or defend.
We had several 'well-being checks' that ended up with finding dead people, decaying bodies...ugh. Ok, thought I could go here but cannot.
Suffice to say, I remember one call where we didn't know if we were going to find a suicide/homicide, OD, or what. Got to this run down farm...a creepy cold fall night, dark...and my partner and I asked for assistance only to be told there was none. Which happened alot in those days.
We were staying side by side, with mag lights in hand...and I walked into either a shed or a barn. I could feel the cold sweat running down my back...my teeth were chattering, I could feel the cold night air freezing my mouth and throat and lungs...I felt like every sound was magnified 10,000 times. I was checking for smells...gas? decomposing body? gunsmoke? Listening for everything I could...animal scurrying? Branches brushing the side of the building?
In the darkness, I got a feeling of being watched over my right side...My legs went weak and I turned....
THAT. THAT is the feeling of hypervigilance.
In that moment, what I felt...ready to be attacked, ready to run or defend.
P
p-no
... a super-power!
Orglethorp
Not Active
When I'm aware that I'm being hypervigilant before something gets me, I feel exactly what the term means. I notice that I am being abnormally aware of everything. I'm taking in unusual details. I'm wondering about the source of every little sound. I can feel people slightly coming before I see or hear them. I'm tense and ready to react. I'm very quiet. (If I'm signing to myself, I'm probably trying to prevent or distract from a state of hypervigilance.)
When something startles me in that state, I'm not actually all that likely to physically jump or gasp or otherwise show my reaction in an obvious way. Most of the time it doesn't look like the stereotype shell shocked veteran who's ducking for shelter in case that noise was from an explosion or fire from heavy artillery. I'm more of a freeze type. If you're really watching I'll stiffen up and actually stop moving for a second. What am I feeling? Well, I certainly feel like I jumped. I get an odd sensation in my body, though. The way I would describe it is to ask you to think about any time you've ever almost tripped. Did you get a tingling rush just after recovering your balance? Maybe it was just in your feet, or maybe it was more. I find I can actually force that feeling (why I tried in the first place, I don't know) by pressing my foot against the wall while sitting on a raised object (chair, bed, whatever) and then pulling/dropping my foot quickly so that my toes brush against the wall on the way down. The tingling sensation is slightly delayed. Don't confuse this with being tickled by moving sensitive skin against something - there is actually a secondary/reactionary sensation. Well, when I'm startled by something, that feeling runs through my entire body, usually starting between the shoulders and running out and down. It's very quick, but sometimes it lingers a little longer in my hands and feet. On a day when I'm already very stressed / dealing with anxiety already present at that time, then this has been known to trigger a panic attack. I've had to become a lot better with keeping my cool, though, because my job requires me to work at least 2-3 graveyard shifts a month (it's been more like 4 in the last year and a bit) changing price labels in the grocery aisles while the stock boys are doing their work. I quickly discovered that the sound of a wooden shipping pallet being dropped onto the pile gets me every time, even though I know what it is and expect it to happen several times in a shift.
When something startles me in that state, I'm not actually all that likely to physically jump or gasp or otherwise show my reaction in an obvious way. Most of the time it doesn't look like the stereotype shell shocked veteran who's ducking for shelter in case that noise was from an explosion or fire from heavy artillery. I'm more of a freeze type. If you're really watching I'll stiffen up and actually stop moving for a second. What am I feeling? Well, I certainly feel like I jumped. I get an odd sensation in my body, though. The way I would describe it is to ask you to think about any time you've ever almost tripped. Did you get a tingling rush just after recovering your balance? Maybe it was just in your feet, or maybe it was more. I find I can actually force that feeling (why I tried in the first place, I don't know) by pressing my foot against the wall while sitting on a raised object (chair, bed, whatever) and then pulling/dropping my foot quickly so that my toes brush against the wall on the way down. The tingling sensation is slightly delayed. Don't confuse this with being tickled by moving sensitive skin against something - there is actually a secondary/reactionary sensation. Well, when I'm startled by something, that feeling runs through my entire body, usually starting between the shoulders and running out and down. It's very quick, but sometimes it lingers a little longer in my hands and feet. On a day when I'm already very stressed / dealing with anxiety already present at that time, then this has been known to trigger a panic attack. I've had to become a lot better with keeping my cool, though, because my job requires me to work at least 2-3 graveyard shifts a month (it's been more like 4 in the last year and a bit) changing price labels in the grocery aisles while the stock boys are doing their work. I quickly discovered that the sound of a wooden shipping pallet being dropped onto the pile gets me every time, even though I know what it is and expect it to happen several times in a shift.
SweetPeaandSunBird
Platinum Member
Hypervigilance feels like finding yourself stranded in the middle of a tornado and trying to calibrate your movements perfectly to dodge the flying debris whirling around.
SadDreamer
Bronze Member
hyper vigilance is something I cannot control, stop, or reduce. When it happens, I know what is happening, but I can't stop it. I am on high alert, until something happens or I leave the situation or place that makes me feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
(I am hyper-vigilant every time I am in a car, it is extremely stressful, and now I hate driving just because of the hyper-vigilance).
I think the worst part about hyper-vigilance is feeling/looking crazy. I know when I am in this state it is obvious, and I know other people are looking at me like I am a nut case. It is extremely embarrassing, and life-shattering to the point where I avoid meeting new people or going to new places.
It makes me so sad because I used to be such a fun-loving, outgoing, spontaneous girl. It was what made me who I am. It is so hard to be that person when I am freaking out that something bad is going to happen, or just scanning my immediate area over and over again looking for exits, people, and any signs of danger.
I remember being home alone once. It was night time and dark outside. I heard a noise, and immediately got hyper vigilant. I looked out the window overlooking my back yard and saw a person carrying a leafblower. I immediately started to panic. I am being robbed. I run and grab my cell phone and my switch blade knife. I look out front and see a truck parked on my grass. I went from window to window peaking out like a crazy person trying to decide if I should call the police or confront the person. I decide to turn the video on my phone on, and walk out the front door. I see 2 kids in my driveway. I hold my knife out and scream, "Why the f*ck were you in my backyard?" They just stare at me. I see a third person walk from the side of my house. It was my yard guy. I immediately feel the embarrassment starting to flood to my cheeks.
He sees me holding my knife and my cellphone and says, "We were just putting down the mulch."
I yell at him. "You can't be here this late!" and I run inside, lock the door, and start crying out of complete embarrassment and anger at myself for being so stupid.
Every time a person is hyper-vigilant, it FEELS like a life or death situation. You feel highly alert, because if you don't something bad could happen to you. No one else can protect you. At least, that is how it feels for me.
If I didn't have PTSD, i probably would have seen the kid with the leaf blower, and understood immediately what was going on. But because I was hyper vigilant, it seemed so much more intense than it really was because a kid with a leaf blower in my back yard at night was something I registered as "out of place," therefore possibly dangerous, in my hyper-vigilant state.
(I am hyper-vigilant every time I am in a car, it is extremely stressful, and now I hate driving just because of the hyper-vigilance).
I think the worst part about hyper-vigilance is feeling/looking crazy. I know when I am in this state it is obvious, and I know other people are looking at me like I am a nut case. It is extremely embarrassing, and life-shattering to the point where I avoid meeting new people or going to new places.
It makes me so sad because I used to be such a fun-loving, outgoing, spontaneous girl. It was what made me who I am. It is so hard to be that person when I am freaking out that something bad is going to happen, or just scanning my immediate area over and over again looking for exits, people, and any signs of danger.
I remember being home alone once. It was night time and dark outside. I heard a noise, and immediately got hyper vigilant. I looked out the window overlooking my back yard and saw a person carrying a leafblower. I immediately started to panic. I am being robbed. I run and grab my cell phone and my switch blade knife. I look out front and see a truck parked on my grass. I went from window to window peaking out like a crazy person trying to decide if I should call the police or confront the person. I decide to turn the video on my phone on, and walk out the front door. I see 2 kids in my driveway. I hold my knife out and scream, "Why the f*ck were you in my backyard?" They just stare at me. I see a third person walk from the side of my house. It was my yard guy. I immediately feel the embarrassment starting to flood to my cheeks.
He sees me holding my knife and my cellphone and says, "We were just putting down the mulch."
I yell at him. "You can't be here this late!" and I run inside, lock the door, and start crying out of complete embarrassment and anger at myself for being so stupid.
Every time a person is hyper-vigilant, it FEELS like a life or death situation. You feel highly alert, because if you don't something bad could happen to you. No one else can protect you. At least, that is how it feels for me.
If I didn't have PTSD, i probably would have seen the kid with the leaf blower, and understood immediately what was going on. But because I was hyper vigilant, it seemed so much more intense than it really was because a kid with a leaf blower in my back yard at night was something I registered as "out of place," therefore possibly dangerous, in my hyper-vigilant state.
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