Changing Personal Mantras

[99Phoenix99]

So today after my therapy appointment I was having a really hard time dealing with my emotions and I caught myself repeating a mantra I've had since I was 15.

"Your emotions are inconsequential. In the long run they don't matter. You have bigger fish to fry. You don't have time for this. Suck it up and move on."

At the time of my trauma, which was 7 years of being hospitalized/and or on bed rest, I HAD to tell myself that. Feelings had no place in a clinical setting. Every day was a fight to stay alive. All the medical treatments were painful but necessary evils. As I think back on it I'm glad I didn't feel anything for the most part. I probably wouldn't be alive if I had allowed my feelings to get in the way.

Now that I'm not in that situation anymore all of my mantras aren't aplicable anymore. The words I had clung to like a life line for nearly a decade are detrimental to me now.

And it makes me sad.

It's like saying goodbye to someone.

And now I don't have a mantra anymore. I don't have THAT PHRASE to help me get through the day anymore. I don't have THAT PHRASE to keep me going and motivated.

Anyone else have this happen?

Better yet... does anyone have a mantra with something along the lines "It's OK to feel emotions?" I really need to find a new mantra ASAP.

 

[nimkekaa]

Emotions are healthy. Letting them out is good for me. I will try not to fight them coming out anymore.

Just a thought.

 

[Red Feather]

Hey Pheonix, you just said it yourself. It's okay to have emotions. It really is. You know best what kind of mantra you need for yourself. If you feel yourself longing for the one that is not helping you, you can also say to yourself, "feeling my emotions is healthy and positive." You are in a good place because you are becoming aware of it, and know you need something different. That's super.

 

[99Phoenix99]

Hmn.... thanks Nimkekaa and Nadia...

I've been bouncing some ideas around from what you both mentioned. The one I've come up with so far is:

"Emotions are good. They are healthy. They mean you're alive."


I'm not sure if it'll stick. But I'll give it a shot.

 

[Lady Vet]

does anyone have a mantra with something along the lines "It's OK to feel emotions?" I really need to find a new mantra ASAP.

I love this thread, because I have just gone through a change in my own mantra. Interestingly, I also have it posted as my status about my new mantra....lol.

I've been flailing myself against this wall of PTSD for 27 years. Only I wasn't diagnosed with PTSD until last year, so for all of these years I've been told by every professional that basically I just need to learn how to relax. Well, that never really worked...lol...so for the past 27 years my mantra has been, "What the hell is wrong with me?!" Because no matter how hard I tried, I was still dealing with out of control symptoms that kept getting worse, not better!

For me, a correct diagnosis changed my question, hence the answers I was finding were also changed. I have such a clear understanding of PTSD now, but I am so exhausted by the insensitive and condescending things other people do and say just because THEY don't understand PTSD. So my life mantra is now changed to:

Just because YOU don't understand PTSD, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with ME!

This mantra frees up everything. I no longer feel guilty for having the experiences and "inappropriate" reactions, because I am much more kind and compassionate with myself! So this new mantra is a wonderful shield to protect my growth and healing by deflecting their insensitivity right back at them! lol...

So this is my new mantra....less than three days old, now :) And I don't know what your new mantra is going to be, but I am very excited to find out! Good luck, Phoenix...such an appropriate name, you know....the Phoenix that rises up out of the ashes of mantra past...lol. I hope you share your new mantra when you have heard your spirit sing it out clear and strong for you (just as mine has done for me!) Blessings!

 

[Shellbell]

"Emotions are good. They are healthy. They mean you're alive."

I really like this. And I really hope this works for you. I think this is a really positive thread.

Thank you 99Phoenix99 :hug:

 

[99Phoenix99]

For me, a correct diagnosis changed my question, hence the answers I was finding were also changed. I have such a clear understanding of PTSD now, but I am so exhausted by the insensitive and condescending things other people do and say just because THEY don't understand PTSD. So my life mantra is now changed to:

Just because YOU don't understand PTSD, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with ME!

This mantra frees up everything. I no longer feel guilty for having the experiences and "inappropriate" reactions, because I am much more kind and compassionate with myself! So this new mantra is a wonderful shield to protect my growth and healing by deflecting their insensitivity right back at them! lol...

I'm so happy for you Lady Vet! :tup: That you've found the mantra that means so much to you and gives you the strength and encouragement throughout the day. I can tell how deeply it means to you. That's exactly what I'm hoping to find. Something that just "CLICKS" into place. Something that gives you that boost to keep you going.

That is really REALLY awful that you had 27 years of misdiagnosis. But from your wording it sounds like you're really hopeful! And rearing and ready to go! Your enthusiasm has definitely reached me. It's for sure given me a smile ;)

If I manage to find that phrase I'll be sure to share.

 

[Lady Vet]

But from your wording it sounds like you're really hopeful! And rearing and ready to go! Your enthusiasm has definitely reached me.

I appreciate that you can see that I AM hopeful again....but it's a very, very recent change :) And it just goes to show how having a positive, life affirming mantra really does have the power to change everything....lol...the mantra doesn't have to be all glitz and glam....lol....just what we each need to hear to free up our spirit from whatever is oppressing it at the time. You are awesome, Phoenix!

 

[99Phoenix99]

That's awesome Lady Vet! There's nothing better than that feeling of inspiration. And mantras are unbelievably powerful.

For the longest time I would tell myself "You need to survive to thrive." I'd tell myself that when I was in the hospital upset that I couldn't do anything. That one phrase really meant a lot to me. It gave me hope that if I just made it through that one experience that if I could get over it, then I'd be able to get out into the world and really have a go at it :D

It's amazing like you said how they can affect us so positively.

Aahah this is why I'm busting my butt trying to find something new I can use.

And thanks :x3: You're pretty darn awesome yourself!