Writing Emotion Upon a Forum

[Kim500]

((((((Many Hugs for You monster))))))) I'm so very sorry about your dear cat. :cry: You're right about there being a lot of pet lovers here! If my birdy died I would be devastated!!!!! :notworthy: And I would look for sympathy from the people on here who would understand and care too!!!!

What I meant about looking for an 'excess' amount of sympathy is this: (And I hope I can explain it accurately because it's kinda rolling around in my head and I want to put it into words.) I'll use myself for an example.

If I came on here and only talked about how bad things were for me every day and never asked for help from those with experience, or mention the things that were going good in my life, it wouldn't be good. It would be like I was only focusing on the negative and teaching myself to feed on a constant flow of sympathy instead of trying to grow and heal.

As far as sharing upsetting things in our lives and wanting sympathy is TOTALLY different! I want what I wrote to make you feel better because you are totally in the right about your dear pet. Please let me know if you understand what I wrote. ((((Hugs))))

 

[safenow]

I wrote about my cat being hit by a car for sympathy. I know there are a lot of pet lovers on here and I was upset and grieving. Is that wrong? I don't think it is. I would have sympathy for anyone else and I would want to express it. I understand that too much sympathy is not good, but...oh well, I'm triggered now. sorry

Sorry for your kitty. Is it okay, or did it not make it? Bless your hear. I miss my kitten so much. Socks was a friend and companion for years.

(((( Hugs )))) if you allow them

safenow

 

[Abstract]

Thank you very much for that! Sometimes my brain can be in such a fog. I do apologize if I have been offending.

Oh sorry Britt. I wasn't really answering you specifically and was just blabbering on generally as I did not have time to answer people separately although I wanted to. I didn't see anything wrong with what you said and was just adding extra thoughts on the topic.

**

To me it is not the empathy or sympathy that is the issue but rather the absence of saying something to confront our distortions or the absence of us pushing someone to move forward that is sometimes the issue.

I think this is a good example

If I came on here and only talked about how bad things were for me every day and never asked for help It would be like I was only focusing on the negative and teaching myself to feed on a constant flow of sympathy instead of trying to grow and heal.

To me this isn't so much a sympathy issue as someone getting stuck and needing to pushed out of the place they have become trapped in. I don't know if that makes sense. Maybe it seems like semantics but I think isn't. Very open to hearing others perspectives though. I do know that some people find almost any expression of sympathy/empathy unhelpful because of their personal past or because they are aware that they may become trapped by the sorrow of their situation.

(((Monster))) so sorry about your kitty. They are like members of the family aren't they? Sending you much caring. There is zero wrong with wanting a human response and compassion and sharing of humanity when being in crisis in my opinion.

 

[Kim500]

I'm sorry about your kitten safenow.:notworthy:

 

[safenow]

ty kim. I'm concerned about Monster's situation.
safenow

 

[Abstract]

Safeway, sorry about socks.

 

[safenow]

Safeway, Sorry about socks.

Giggle. If I was safeway, I'd have enough money for christmas for me and you.

safenow aka safeway.

 

[Abstract]

Ha! Silly me. Safenow sounds better than Safeway to me actually! More important to be safe now.

 

[Kim500]

More important to be safe now.

I agree Abstract!

I love your name 'safenow'. It reminds me that I AM safe now every time I see it, and that is a very good feeling!:happy:

 

[goingonhope]

Hi Abstract, I'll need to wait to process some things (overtired) before I can give an example, as it is too late/early here and my brain and eyes have had it for tonight.

 

[Abstract]

(((goinonhope))),
There is no pressure at all. Only answer if or when you want to or can.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm totally ok. I was at Walmart. Eek! I survived quite well. Safenow, I am sorry about your kitty too. It is very hard to lose a pet. My Searchlight didn't make it. She is playing in heaven now.

Kim, I understand what you wrote. I just triggered myself thinkiing about my kitty. I am really happy with myself that I was able to calm down and be present again.

I was talking to my T once about my chronic pain group and how nobody got better. Not just the pain, but the emotions surrounding the pain. I felt that they repeated themselves over and over and I had been going for over a year. He said they do that because they aren't being heard. Then people don't listen because they say the same things over and over, so they don't get heard.

That kind of opened my eyes. Sometimes people look for sympathy over and over because they aren't being heard. I try to hear people so they can end the cycle. I know I cycle through a lot of the same stuff, but it gets longer between cycles, they don't last as long, and I recognize them sooner. I get a lot of good advice here that I use, but I also get sympathy for my situation, and sometimes it makes me feel heard.