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Any Practical Suggestions? Work, Exhaustion, Spontaneous Si, At The End Of My Rope

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Yikes, of all crazy things, I was shoveling, and lost all my bearings or perspective, how ridiculous. In that, I knew I was upright, but couldn't tell, and absolutely had no perspective as to where I was in relation to my home or yard, etc. Maybe an inner ear infection, yikes. Never what you worry about, lol. Not sure, does anyone have that because of ptsd?

Anyway, hope anyone who sees this if they do is doing well, can have some joy and peace and fun this season. :hug: That there's lots of positives and relief from the ptsd and love.
 
Awww Junebug,

Your words are too kind. :)

I agree with you on being happily single vs miserably coupled up. ;)

I think we often neglect ourselves more than we realize. Healing, we want acceptance and are encouraged but empowerment isn't as emphasized.

We do need others but I think when we build ourselves up where our job, material things, and even relationships with other people are our identity.

Beating up ourselves is probably the hardest thing of all because only I can fix that. I think of bpundaries and there's a difference between someone who is safe and someone who is encouraging. Both is even better. We need people who accept us as we are, be honest, considerate, and not be afraid of being themselves. Everyone has a different personality. If someone has pure motives, I am not affected by their actions as such. Maybe at first it bothers me, but in the end I'm ok.

Good for you sticking up for yourself! Jobs are jobs...in the end it really is just a paycheck. If you love your job, if it's your passion then even better. I used to think that but not anymore!

Hope you have a better rest of the week!!!

**bringing the eggnog**

M
 
Thanks everyone, yes I will look it up Abstract. I think I dissociate on occassion, although I think I have a very bad neck. Well, I know I have back injuries (years) and hips, and have dislocated my shoulder quite a few times- I recall a Chiropractor saying "Well you know with your injuries" (but to be honest I didn't want to tell him I haven't gone to the Dr and he didn't elaborate and I couldn't bring myself to ask). 'Attractive', lol! :rolleyes: But my neck is so immobile, barely stand the pain,and cracks constantly, I think (I know) that's likely Arthritis. And my sister has a bad (amongst others) C3 injury, much worse than mine, my dad's back was way worse, also, when I told her she said she finds the same. Like that feeling you're upside down, almost like when you don't realize fainting is coming on and next thing you know what your cheek is against is the floor, and the view is of the baseboards, lol.

My fault too, when I shovel I throw it to where I want it to melt come spring. (Dumb ass, lol.)

Thank you Abstract- I did stand up for myself there. Yikes. Occurred to me, she was angry, shouldn't *I* be the one feeling 'angry'-(?). :confused: But my sister worked for her and said she does that at Christmas. But 7+ hours of constant, reasonably heavy work with no break is kind of crazy, especially I would more likely resent it, being Christmas Day. I'll likely run late with people gathering with their families, anyway. The way I look at it, it's not "911"- that is, no earth-shaking crisis that justifies non-stop work, I've done that for even 72 hour periods etc when it is a crisis. But this just a 'regular' day, if anything the people will all be celebrating.

And Sailorgal, thank you to you also. I know things will work out for you. Am pulling for you.

At one point in my life I had to really accept- though in no way minimizing others accomplishments- that as Mother Teresa used to say, "God won't ask you how many degrees you have on your wall".

Do feel ~ho-hum about what I've managed to accomplish for Christmas- about 1/3 of what I've set out to, I guess, in terms of responsibilities, what I would wish to, and socially. Not feeling guilty or badly about that is probably a bit harder. But, oh well. I did find out yesterday my sister and her friend are planning to celebrate New Year's here, I think together as she has to work til around 9pm (I have to work, but later), but they are both off the next day (I'm not). So, eiy. I don't want them to be on the highway at 9 or 10pm New Years eve night. But if I don't go out, oye. But I'm trying not to think about it, at all. Not even Christmas yet. I might just 'have' to opt to go out. Usually there are only 2 days of the year I absolutely don't want to, unless it's just with one or 2 really close friends, or a good's friend's house party, and oddly enough New Year's eve is one. But oh well, the future even few days, can't really take for granted. Whatever it's ok.

Kind of sad about Christmas, the thought around it, but more happy and peaceful, too.

Big Hugs to All! (Will look it up Abstract, funny when you're on your front walk and can't figure out where the front door is. Knew I wasn't likely shoveling someone else's walk at night, lol. Couldn't quite figure out 'what' I was doing, either- except I was wearing 2 parka's and had a shovel, lol.)

Big Big :hug: :inlove:.
 
Ok how on earth can ANYONE breathe wearing 2 parkas!!! LOL!

I have a hip and neck injury (affects my back alot). You never got a dr to look at it? Our backs are soo important and affect us greatly. Junebug, please take care of yourself!

So New Year's party at your place? I will bring the noisemaker!!!!
 
Hee, Sailorgal yes the eggnog's gone, :D :p.

Well, ya I'm Dr-phobic. BUT, I've learned how to put my shoulder in myself, and also when my hip goes out, if I can't straighten. Actually, I'm thinking of trying yoga (but not alphalpha sprouts.. :p, hee), I think that might be cool.

They're throwing more work at me than I can breathe, picking up others' calls as well as my own,but at least my people are ok. They are going to reduce everyone's day from 9 1/2 hours to 9 though, soon I hope. :tup: I told my people, "Woah, you must have done something REALLY BAD to get on the Naughty List and get stuck with me all through CHristmas". :)

Saw a photo of someone in an abused shelter we have here, with her child, a little Christmas tree they have there. They were so happy! I thought, so much hope in that picture! A new start, safety- so many wonderful things. Not looking afraid of the future, or sad at the circumstances. Those very intangible things are worth so very much. So many reasons to be happy. :)
 
I don't know if I should call you rubberband woman or what...

That's great to hear stories like that. It's the little things in life. Hope comes in soo many pictures.

I'm glad your hours are being reduced. All work and no play makes Junebug want too much eggnog!!!!
 
Hee, oh Sailorgal, :hug: .

(I must confess.. I'm even eating egg nog ice cream. Despite the weather. :p If you lived here, you'd wear 2 parkas, too. :eek: I wear 3 usually shoveling- men's on top. :laugh: )

Yes, I'm glad, it was never my intention to have to be consumed with work. I think the amount of energy it takes to deal with the ptsd, and then work, uses up so much.

I still feel happy, but I have to confess I bumped into someone I know (not that well), had a brief conversation this morning, and have felt badly ever since. She was- yikes, what's the word- a bit hostile. :( I believe it is due to her own circumstances, I'm aware of something that happened in the summer, but I've felt badly ever since we spoke. Not sure entirely 'why', except I didn't know what to say, and I felt badly thinking of how it might *seem* from her perspective.

But also, it unearthed I guess my own doubt, that I am foolish to feel this much at peace or to have some 'hope'. That the rug will be pulled out soon. That it's a ~mirage. Some feeling that eats away at me.

Am not sure if it's the constant ptsd, but I feel 'haunted', already. I so wish it would leave entirely. :(

Dear Abstract, that jamais vu, well I can relate. Though I always thought it was stress. I find it very difficult to make sense of that stuff, what-is-what.

Hugs to all, hope everyone is well. You are all so Sweet. :hug:
 
J-

If I was living there, I would stay indoors plopped down in front of the fireplace. :)

Sorry you ran into an unpleasant situation. Always happens when things are going great!!!! Frankly, with all you got going on, you need not concern yourself with her, eh?

Haunted? Do you mean like something bad is following you and ready for the right opportunity to pounce????

Eggnog ice cream-yummy!! Omg have you tried Godiva chocolate raspberry truffle ice cream! Sooo divine!!!!
 
Sorry you ran into an unpleasant situation. Always happens when things are going great!!!! Frankly, with all you got going on, you need not concern yourself with her, eh?

SG, you are right on both counts. I guess it's my fear. Thinking too if I'm happy or things are 'ok' some terrible thing will happen. My dad was the same. But from what I know now he acted like he had ptsd.

No, not haunted in that way, other than the 'normal' hypervigilance of ptsd, always under the surface (and usually as regards past events, while missing true current dangers, often.) I mean, the relentless 'feeling', or hole, or fear, or sadness, or doubt. Not sure what it is. But likely all set off this morning. Silly. Though it doesn't 'feel' silly, feels like a realistic fear. :sorry:

Mmmmm.. nope, haven't tried that one yet.. :joyful:

Thank you SG, :hug: .
 
I know what it is, or how it feels, it's terror. A feeling of terror and fear of 'doom'. It's tied in to work thursday night. Then, this woman today, her suffering (that I'm aware of), all started with her getting fired at work last summer. I feel so afraid. :(
 
:hug: Junebug.

If you had to guess what the fear would be related to or could be then what would you say? What would be your worst case scenario?

Also: was she unpleasant to you in any way?
 
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