Help On Concerning Question

[Phenioxrising]

Ok, this is going to sound a little strange, and I have trouble accepting the fact that some of the therapists had buttons made cause they find my story inspiring.

Since having an Identity crisis, my therapist (T) made my appointments on the same day as my birthday day each month and also contacted the ER I went to for my somatic pain (to treat me better). Also, during visits to my councelor they have meetings after each appointment.

I told her pizza was one of my triggers. Next group therapy session, what do you know someone ordered pizza in the lunch room, and the smell engulfed the whole hallway on my way out of group. Asking my T why he's doing this, he says I'd like to do this for all my patients.

My question is, why my T would go this far to help me on my journey. He's so genuine, caring and compassionate, he's a great T but why would someone keep this up as to going above and beyond. Even if I find it a bit annoying.

 

[saffy]

Why wouldn't he though?

Do you not think you deserve just a little bit of his compassion and caring?

I can feel like this, that I do not trust their motives or think I am not worth their time.

He sounds like he is getting to know you and find ways that will expose you to triggers in a controlled environment. Smelling Pizza would associate you to pizza.

He is also there though to help you confront these feelings of why you feel he is doing so much. I would worry that I might paranoid or irrational? Sorry, I always ask myself this.

A good therapist will find anyway possible to help their clients and some do not switch off at the end of the hour. If they think of something that might help they will try to do it.

Like you said he is a good person, we might not be used to that so it will seem too much at first. ;)

If however if you get feelings that it is going beyond the client/therapist relationship, on either part, then that would ring bells. Just thought I would mention that, not that that is the case at all.

I hope that helps a bit.

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Abstract]

Even if I find it a bit annoying.

I agree with Saffy.

Also what about it do you find annoying?

 

[Phenioxrising]

I actually told him it was makeing me a bit paranoid, yet he continues to do this. Don't get me wrong I appreciate all he's doing, dispite being uncomfortable with all the attention. It is ringing bells on my part. What happened to "I don't date patients". And it does feel like he's going beyond the client/ therapist relationship.
Makes me think what the hell do I do about this, but at the same time do I ... I ask myself why does he seem to care too much for me. When does the therapist seem to go for the patient.

 

[Abstract]

"I don't date patients"

Ah. So when he shows you he cares about your wellfare you start wondering if he is romantically interested in you. Is there anything that could indicate that? Has he ever been inappropriate in any way? Do you tend to think that generally of people? It might help to list specific things he has done that make you feel that and why.

It might also help to list what you would prefer him to do.

 

[Phenioxrising]

No he hasn't been innapropriate. And no I don't generally think that of people. I've had other therapists, and I haven't felt like I do with him. Not that it's wrong, but he even warmed up his office for my session, and let me know about it. And I can E-mail him anytime I want to. Also how I am helping other people in group, but that was more just general conversation.

 

[saffy]

I actually told him it was makeing me a bit paranoid, yet he continues to do this

ok, so if he suddenly stops, what would you think and feel about this?

Personally I would have mixed feelings, one would like to think he just backed off a bit and the other would think he had his ego damaged. but he does not seem like that sort of person.

However,

And it does feel like he's going beyond the client/ therapist relationship.

In that case I think you have to be honest with him about this. You have to tell him the reasons for your paranoia. He must understand that you are getting these feelings from somewhere, that you feel uneasy when this? or that? happens.

He has to consider his behaviour and how it is making you feel, and listen to you when you tell him and not undermine you or get aggressive, defensive, dismissive or what ever. Hope that makes sense?

Is he over stepping your boundaries? This can be a chance to set them clearly.

You should listen to your instincts and if they make you feel uncomfortable you have every right to assert your needs. It will give you back some control over the situation. :)

I have to make myself do this and rehearse very carefully what to say, and think very clearly as to what the problem is; What I need to do and how I want the outcome to be. By being honest with myself and with them in a calm and to the point way it has helped me feel more confident in myself as a person. I have also learnt that I do not always need to explain myself. That's me anyway :)

Best of luck and wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Phenioxrising]

Yes, I have told him. But from my perspective with his actions and demenor seems to want something more. In terms of relationship. And I'm usually right when I judge other peoples behavior, as to what I'll allow myself to say, and keep them at a distance. I guess I'm afraid of what if I am right. and since when does this happen to me.
I went with my heart on trusting him with my story. But yes, your right on being honest with myself.

 

[quaintpapercut]

But from my perspective with his actions and demenor seems to want something more. In terms of relationship. And I'm usually right when I judge other peoples behavior, as to what I'll allow myself to say, and keep them at a distance.

I think this is concerning. If you feel that your gut is telling you that something is off , you should trust your instincts.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Thanks, just what I needed to hear, and it's not just all in my head.

 

[Abstract]

Yes, I have told him. But from my perspective with his actions and demenor seems to want something more.

That is awful to feel that way Pheniox. And you absolutely need to take how you feel seriously.

Does he seem to treat you differently to others? I wonder of you could tell him that it makes you feel he fancies you. I am sorry you are in this situation.

Is there anyone in your past that behaved similar to that and then crossed boundaries? Such as a parent for example.

It's important you should feel and be safe in therapy.

 

[Abstract]

I agree with [DLMURL="https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/members/quaintpapercut.16070/"]quaintpapercut[/DLMURL] that it is concerning and I also absolutely agree with you that you should respect how you feel and listen to it. Especially when it is something so serious.