Teddy Bears Anonymous

[LaurenZ123]

I will mention this to my counsellor as she was talking about how as adults we don't play anymore the last time I saw her. We forget how to have fun and be imaginative; I didn't realise this is her way of getting me to the inner child stuff.

I am so glad you mentioned this Rainy_daze! I actually have a form of dissociative disorder, DID. It's basically as far down the dissociative spectrum as you can be, so farthest as a child I creates these other "parts" or "alters" to "change into" to literally give myself the impress that I was no longer in a dangerous situation, because as far as I was concerned, I was no longer me. This isn't a conscious thing and generally happens when the trauma happens t such a young age that there is no possible way for the little one to even grasp what's happening on any level.

Anyways, in my adult life I figured out this was happening and then realized that I have all of these "broken parts" of me, inside me that I wasn't jot were of for protective reasons. Now I am aware of them and I call them my kids. I love them all and they are all different. Different ages, different preferences, different genders even. ANYWAYS I was upset one day and my therapist said something that triggered one of my kids coming up to the surface. She told me that even though I am conscious of it now and I try to keep them in the back set no stay in charge, she can still tell when they're present because I appreciate things mot ducts never appreciate.

Little things that we all take for granted. She said my eyes light up when I am "them." Is true, I can notice it now. I stay in charge but I communicate with them so that they know that the traumas acre no longer happening, even though they may seem real to them (flashbacks, etc.). When I communicate with them I get to know them and what purposes they served in my life until now. I's amazing. By getting to know the,m, I am getting to know myself because they re parts of me. THIS IS THE SAME THING AS ETTING TO KNOW YOUR INNER CHILD, only it seems as though it may be more of a conscious effort for someone who doesn't dissociate to the point of "switching" identities for the tie being.

I guess I am rambling on and on about this to encourage you all to get in touch with what your inner child has to say. Is scary at first, I won't lie to you. It's scary because they probably have some really sad, angering, frustrating things to say and feelings they have been holding back for a long time. BUT once you learn that you CAN in fact deal with those awful feelings,you get to experience the joy that little kids feel that adults so often miss out on. It sounds cheesy but its true and listening to my inner children, appreciating them for who they are (positive feelings AND messy ones) I also get to experience the joy of the little things that much more. It's great when it works. Home you all can try it when the timing seems right for you:).

Just make sure yo don't take on too big of a task all at once. Tis is seriously heavy, loaded exploration and it needs to be done carefully and with the right supports in place should any feelings, memories, emotions, etc come up that are hard to manage on your own.

 

[Spiderallis]

My avatar is a doll I hug when things are hard, kind of an art project too. I attached Puddin Pop's 'before' picture, since then her hair turned green and she's put on make-up like I wore as a teenager. She's too big to take along with me but I usually have some small little critter in my purse or coat pocket. Nigel the rat gets to go along more than anyone, he's got velvety soft fur that's really calming to pet. Actually there's three Nigel rats... they're different colors, but he's such a good helper he needed a back-up.

 

[Britt.f7]

I think I'm going to ask my husband for a stuffed animal for Valentine's day. My ex got me one when we were separating but I didn't keep it. He finally decided to show he was a loving human being only after I left him. Go figure. But I digress, I think I would really like a stuffed animal, what kind is the question. Hmmm.

 

[CraftyCath]

This is me (with my H), cuddling my cute lamb. He is called Lambsy and can be pit in the microwave and warmed up. This was taken at the Forum Teddy Bears Picnic in York last summer. (If you'd like to see more photos of us all then go to [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/teddy-bears-picnic-july-2012.26744/[/DLMURL]).

I use my Lambsy as a source of comfort and for grounding (as well as just staying warm). I spotted him in my local chemist before I started therapy when I was FUBAR. I took him to therapy with me and he was microwaved before I went so he kept my hands warm (Roast lamb!). I hold him when I'm trying to sleep, I reach for him if I wake up in the night (especially if I have had a nightmare) or when I need comfort when I am upset as sometimes my H struggles to comfort me. Lambsy helps me to feel grounded as he is something solid and real that I can touch and feel safe with.

I still have my teddy from when I was little. His name is Goldie but he isn't very cuddly. My brother used to kick him around the house and throw him about just to upset me. I would become hysterical and cry until he stopped. So the memories of Goldie are painful but I'll never get rid of him.

 

[p-no]

Meet the gang, yo!

I unpacked some more boxes (three left, phew!) the other day and put the stuffed animals on my loft bed. Woke up the next morning looking straight at them! I freaked! Felt like "Big Brother is watching you!", lol. 'T was just the gang tho!

So, I am not much of a toy person (yup, that photo sure seems like I'm downplaying, eh). So, I don't really use them. Moley (back row, far right) makes me smile sometimes because he seems to smile at me expectantly waiting for a hug -- Free Hugs!

The sheep, Lilly, I got during my marriage. I got her despite my now ex-husband looking at me as if I were the dumbest person on Earth. Almost threw her out, didn't want to keep anything that would remind me of that person. Did keep her and locked her away. Sometimes I used her for comfort sleeping with her.

The raven (back row, second from the left) was given to me by my dear host daughter and friend L. I love ravens. His name is Rabe, the German word for raven. It sounds beautiful, Rabe.

The giraffe, Opa (German for grandpa) was also given to me by L. She loves giraffes and got me addicted. All giraffes warm my heart. Opa is the one I use most. When I feel like it, I will hold him when I fall asleep, or sometimes, talk to him. Best thing is his belly button! You can put him with his back in your lap while cuddling up on the sofa and stick (or try to) your finger in his belly button. Of course he enjoys that tons! He has a gorgeous smile and makes my inner child smile, too. He shocked me most when I woke up the other day, looking right at me as if he were wondering when I'd wake up. When I was awake, he was fine. ;)

The whale, well, what can I say. I love whales. I have a beautiful whale necklace. I should take a picture of that. The whale is just "The Whale". He needs no name; he's got "standing". He's great for grounding: putting it onto my breast (weight) or giving him massages from "nose" to "toe" -- I swear I can hear him purr with his beautiful low voice!

And, the little one, do you see it? Right in front of Moley and right behind the moose? A bat. Of couse, that's Betty. (I just made this name up. ;) )

The moose is from Sweden and is called Keanu (I like Keanu Reeves as an actor, he knows what trauma is (which is not why; just saying) and the meaning and sound of his name).

The elephant (back, far left) was perfect decoration in my last apartment. All was shabby chic, white, light purple, light rose, that kind of style. The elephant just fit in.

The dragon is called Arzu. That is Turkish and means all of these: wish, longing, appetite, lust, will. I got her from a friend who is very dear to me.

Most of them are back in a box for storage. Can't stand too much stuff in my bed. Opa is still in my bed though (no clue where, he likes it cozy and warm) and Moley is right beside it. :)

Slightly red in my face now. Cheerio.

 

[Springer80]

Now I'm wanting a stuffed animal. :(

I think your hubby should get you one. I think if I bought one now, I'd want a Gruffalo.

 

[rainy_daze]

This isn't a conscious thing and generally happens when the trauma happens t such a young age that there is no possible way for the little one to even grasp what's happening on any level.

Thanks for the post explaining that. I found out I have disassociative symptoms, but only really at the start of therapy, so only strating to really learn grounding. I have scary memories that are just fragments. I won't go into detail 'cause this thread is such a happy one. I think my inner child is incredibly angry, confused and sad - I am glad I discovered this thread (thanks Greenfrog for starting). Wow, I just remembered I had a pillow!

It was silk, and my mum's best friend's mum gave it to me. I used to spray my mum's perfume on it and cuddle it and smell her perfume. I cried a lot with that pillow, I remember that. I think it got thrown out because the perfume had stained all the silk. Strange how things just suddenly come back to you.

@Springer80: Yes, I think Britt should ask for a Gruffalo too! Or Gizmo. Any childhood favourites you can think of ;).

@prime-no: Nice gang.

This is me (with my H), cuddling my cute lamb. He is called Lambsy and can be pit in the microwave and warmed up.

That's a beautiful photo.

 

[LaurenZ123]

I have scary memories that are just fragments. I won't go into detail 'cause this thread is such a happy one. I think my inner child is incredibly angry, confused and sad - I am glad I discovered this thread (thanks Greenfrog for starting).

That happened to me at first too. Memories played like videos and they would always stop when they got to a certain point. It was REALLY frustrating but eventually I learned that whether I ever get the rest of the "video" or not doesnt matter. My recovery is not dependent on that. What IS important is acknowledging and naming how I feel. That's where I've made the most progress. March on!

 

[Britt.f7]

Noticed that the therapy office I go to has a decent size teddy bear that sits in the waiting room. Not sure if it is just for kids, but it made me think of this thread. :)

 

[Let It Be]

After I had gone to a weekend retreat, I was given instructions to have a Christmas in July party. I didn't have good memories of my trips to see my family at Christmas, so my family of choice, my co-workers, threw me one.

A Christmas tree was put up with lights, etc. and yes, one of the gifts under the tree, was my own Teddy Bear.

It means so much to me, because of what I had to go through in order to receive my inner child (the retreat) and for the co-workers to surprise me with the cutest Teddy Bear I had ever seen. It was mine and would always be there for me!

 

[Edna]

I'm sorry about your bunny gizmo.

Your bunny reminds me of my first attempt to sew my own stuffed rabbit last year. I never completed it. I need to take sewing lessons. I even calucalted the measurements of the limbs, face, and ears as well.

 

[Britt.f7]

I made a stuffed musical themed bear for a friend who collected bears. I made a little simple bear for my niece to match the outfit I made her. Those are my last attempts at doing either. Though, I have to say, they did turn out.

Still can't decide what type of stuff animal do I want. Thinking about it.