Help On Concerning Question; Answered

[Phenioxrising]

Monster and Abstract: I posted a question awhile back concerning that I had feelings for my T. Also had noticed in his body language, and tone of voice.

Well I did get my answer, and the feelings mutual. Sh*t, he is really the sweetest guy and so compassionate. We exchange feelings through Transferance and counter-transferance. Really an intense feeling if anyone has experienced it.

Honestly, I really can't pass up this chance. The possibility of being hurt, dosn't really scare me anymore. I mean you only live once. Might as well live it up.
Anyone that might have some insight on this would be appreciated.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I would advise caution here. Your therapist is not supposed to be doing that. It crosses so many different boundries. I would advise you to terminate therapy with your therapist and get another therapist. Take some time apart from the therapist you have feelings for.

I have a bad feeling about how this wll turn out for you. I really think this is a really bad idea for you. I am afraid it will affect you the rest of your life. Just my opinion. Be very careful.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I will, I usually do too much thinking into situations. And will consider my options.

 

[Loveneverfails]

He is breaking a HUGE rule here(unless I'm misunderstanding what is happening? Which I hope I am!) that would ordinarily cost him his license and reputation. I'm sorry but the odds are against you on this one turning out well. Usually therapists who do this are taking advantage of their patients vulnerability to fulfill an emotional need of their own. You need to protect yourself, not take a risk. If he truly cared for you, he would not try for anything in this situation. Him crossing that boundary between patient and therapist is selfish and dangerous. I hope it turns out well for you, but I don't think it will.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with Loveneverfails.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I truely felt the same way before finding out.

And, it really blows me away that he was willing to express his feelings.
I've just never felt this strongly about someone.
But proffessional standards are to consider.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I believe everyone has a agenda. I feel your therapist is doing wrong to you. I do not know if he has done this before. You might want to consider this. Some go through a string of victims. You are in a postion to take good care of yourself.

Something that helped me was is to fantasize about having an affair with your therapist playing it out to the end. It will not end well for you. This is so serious. I understand it is very hard having feelings for him. But you need to take good care of yourself.

Get yourself out of this one. Do whatever you have to do. But get yourself out.

 

[Loveneverfails]

You need to consider that the feelings you have for him are not based upon the feelings you would develop for someone in a healthy relationship. Therapists are there to listen to us in a way they might not in their every day lives. It's their job to sit and listen to us for our alotted time and offer insight. They aren't doing it out of the kindness of their hearts. Sure, they want to help, but it isn't altruistic or some act of service.

Also, many therapists present a very different personality in their sessions than they do elsewhere. It's part of their job to also create a relationship with the patient to facilitate trust that is uniquely suited to each patient they see. Inevitably some of their true personality will shine through, but what they say and how they handle our emotions will be very different. So you need to be very aware that the person you have feelings for, is a different person in his personal life, much like every person has a work personality and one for play.

The patient/therapist relationship is an intense one. To initiate healing and understanding it has to be. That is why it is required for Therapists to refrain from conducting personal relationships with any of their patients for at least two years.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Very good insite

 

[timid_flower]

I really can't pass up this chance

I'm not sure I'm understanding correctly. Did you and your therapist discuss actually pursuing a romantic relationship? or is it about whether or not to continue the professional relationship?

 

[NIKI]

it really blows me away that he was willing to express his feelings.

RED FLAG! No, no. Big boundries being crossed as your therapist. Maybe just maybe, if you both are feeling real feeling for each other then you could dismiss him as you therapist and get a new one. But, please don't date him while you are his patient. It is wrong to do that, and HE knows it!

 

[p-no]

Please make yourself very well aware of all that he knows about/of you, and what you know about/of him. He knows you very well, you've opened up to him and let him in. You are the one who risks their emotional well-being, not him. As some others said, if he were professional, and even if he had feelings for you, he would not have told you and would have found a way, if he had had to do this for himself to keep the boundaries (yours!) in place, to end the professional relationship. Don't get yourself into this. Quite the opposite, I'd say. Get yourself out right now. Later will be harder.