Need New Grounding Tool

[p-no]

I haven't read all responses so I hope this is not a double.

One, the fast one for me that gets me grounded fast, is tapping my limbs. No clue if this is the right word, so I'll try to explain: use your hand and 'hit' your legs and arms as if you were fastening the snow on a snow man. Sorry, I guess that must be a funny read for native English speakers ;) The most important thing is to do it up and down, not just in one spot and to not 'hit' yourself too hard. Also, what I would say goes for all grounding methods (for me) is don't stop to early. Don't stop when you feel better or more there, just continue for another while. I wait until I get a bit annoyed as in "why the heck am I doing this again?". What doesn't help then is just relaxing. I will instead do something, no matter what that something is: do dishes, read the titles of my books on the shelves, etc.

If you can't really use your adult body because you're maybe paralyzed inside is imagination. Ask yourself what a two-year-old child would need, imagine it being there (picture it fairly detailed: hair color, size, clothes, etc.) and give to her what she needs. Hold her, let her cry, let her tremble and shake and just be with her.

Sometimes, I need to stay in the non-groundedness and come out very slowly by just letting the waves roll over me. Sometimes, I need to get out fast. The first is when it's about pain and grief and deep despair. The latter is when it's a scary, nightmarish-situation. It all depends.

Hope you'll find your own ways.

 

[safenow]

Thank you, prime-no.

Ask yourself what a two-year-old child would need, imagine it being there

Part of my problem is, I was never a normal two-year-old. I don't know what a two year child would need to comfort herself. That is why I'm asking for help. I got some good advice yesterday, and today I'm implementing it. It has helped a lot. I'm taking better care of my little and me today than I have in a long time. I realized I'm sick physically with lung problems today.

That was really good advice. Thank you again. I'm trying that tapping thingy. I can only do it with my right hand though. My left arm isn't working to well today.

 

[p-no]

I was never a normal two-year-old.

Me neither, safenow.

I don't know what a two year child would need to comfort herself.

What did you need then? Can you picture that 2-year-old somewhere in the room with you right now? Once I was ready to picture that 2-year-old that was me, I got a sense of what it is (not was!) that she needs. My experience is that it is not (anymore) about what the child needed in the past, but what you need today with regard to the 2-year-old back then.

I'm glad you've found something that has already helped.

 

[safenow]

Yesterday, it was suggested I get a hairbrush for her. Just that suggestion reminded me of the only person who really loved me, my sister. During the night I remembered how she used to brush my hair when I was that little child. She would speak softly to me while brushing it softly. I know that I brush people's hair when they under stress, but up until I was told that I had forgotten that. I only had that for one year of my life. Between 2-3 years old. Then she wasn't allowed to talk to me any longer, nor touch me. So that memory was not engraved very deep within my mind.

My experience is that it is not (anymore) about what the child needed in the past, but what you need today with regard to the 2-year-old back then.

This morning I've decided to be 100% in the body, and am taking care of the child and me at the same time. and yes, you are so correct. It is what the adult 2 year old needs now.

I am so glad I found this site. The people here are helping me more than they know.