What Objects Cause Your Startle Response Triggers?

[safenow]

I have a big-capacity hard-drive in my head for details (of the kind you mentioned, like the things in a room).

I do also. Before I leave a room, I look at it, and when I return to that room I can tell if something has been moved or is out of place. I tend to stay on alert until I figure out what it is. I think that is a PTSD side effect, if you will. I've done that for as long as I can remember, but then, I didn't know I had PTSD back then, but several therapist have told me I must have from the early abuse.

It has been a life saver, literally, for me. Last year when that guy came into my apartment and rigged it to blow up, if I hadn't noticed things were moved, I'd have never noticed the other things like the black powder on my window sill, and bookcase, and television stand. Or that the screw was out of the wall socket where I always plug in my wheelchair at night. I"m grateful to the people that told me a guy had been asking about me over where I get my sandwiches, and another person told me that the screen had been opened from outside.

We have these symptoms as a protection. When I look at triggers in that light, I'm not afraid of them. But I am afraid of evil people and the things they do just to torment others.

 

[p-no]

Ditto to all, safenow. Usually, I accept my PTSD willingly. If you turn the way you look at the symptoms around and make active use of them, it can be a very strong ally. (((((safenow))))), if you'd like to accept them, from my inner child to you.

 

[Artfulone]

One of the things that can trigger me a lot, is people too close to me. I can feel very uncomfortable if someone is in my space. This can often trigger de-personalisation to a high level, once my de-personalisation is triggered this then tends to open up other symptoms clusters. My ability to concentrate decreases, I can become more avoidant of further triggers, my startle response often becomes triggered as I become more hyper-aroused. I will often become more clumsy in the hours and days after such a trigger. My periphery of vision may become more sensitive, in addition to other symptoms.

I have had a friend around this week, who was using my computer in my small room where there is limited space. This triggered me a fair bit and I noticed the effect over two days. I am however grateful at this stage that I have a better ability to spot the symptoms and decrease activation of the trauma chain of symptom clusters. Only a year or two ago I would have been having a combination of non-psychotic hallucinations and flash forwards of a very visual nature, such as seeing myself beating my friend up, hitting him and chopping him up with a sword or other such things.

Thankfully such symptoms have and are decreasing as I am able to spot them earlier and intervene in my trauma chain, therefore becoming less attached to activation of my trauma chain. Two or three years ago I would still have been tripping my head off and fearful of this process, which would then increase the range and severity of symptom clusters, in addition to prolonging the duration of the symptoms. After having accepted these symptom clusters, talked about them, allowed myself to communicate these with some friends, working with EMDR and using sensorimotor exercises, meditation and other techniques I am able to lessen the chain reaction.

I hope this makes sense. Thanks for your post Springer.

 

[Springer80]

I just had one....the lights in my kitchen occasionally flick on and off by themselves but it's very quick. It was in my peripheral vision but the flash made me catch my breath...

 

[Chincho]

My main triggers are people touching or talking to me from behind, the phone ringing, and people invading my "personal space" and getting too close to me.

 

[Spiderallis]

Which I won't list, in case someone comes on line searching for me and wants to know more ways to scare me, thinking its funny to watch the multi switch.

I understand safenow's not wanting to mention specifics. I've got a double-barrel trigger thanks to an abuser knowing of a scent that shut my brain down. It's a food/beverage smell, and I had a really bad episode in a grocery store a couple months ago. A container of it had broken, leaving several aisles strongly scented with it. I'm not even sure how I got home, let alone finished shopping. The things I needed most were in the stinky aisles and somehow they were in the house when I came back to the real world.

I'm not sure why fireworks are so popular in my neighborhood, but they tend to go off most often on my bad days. They're not a problem unless I'm already a bit off-balance. I don't know if I'll ever trace back to whether that's related to my past or something I learned from my mom's exaggerated startle response. She's not diagnosed but she has symptoms, she worked in banking and dealt with several robberies.

My worst triggers are visual or smells. Before I was diagnosed I taught myself to hold still for the loud noises, it avoided anyone asking if I knew what PTSD is or if I'd like to speak with someone about it. I wasn't ready. I still flip out inside, but I'm still as a statue with a blank expression on my face. Please don't try that, it's made recovery a bit more challenging to un-learn the unhealthy ways I trained myself to hide what's going on.

 

[safenow]

fireworks are so popular in my neighborhood, but they tend to go off most often on my bad days.

I can so relate. I live down the block from a ballpark. Every time they have a game, afterwards there are fireworks. If I'm asleep, and forget it's a night of a game, I end up in my closet with my clothes pulled down on top of me. Again, this only happens when other triggers are open.

I hear you about double triggers as well. I have so many of those. Right now I have three open triggers going on, and not all my alters know how to ground. In case you don't know, I have Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) with many alternate personalities. The three open right now are 1) anxiety 2) vulnerability 3) high pain levels. So everything from the past that involved this level of pain or anxiety or when I was this vulnerable are open as well. Just sitting there waiting to jump out at me.

I hate it when I'm in public, like you were, and a certain smell is there on top of what ever is already open. I was at work on time, after an attempted break-in, and when I got on the elevator, a man came on with a certain type of aftershave. I ended up hiding behind the other people, shaking, and begging him to not hurt me again. Not a pretty sight for sure.

Thank you for sharing that, Spiderallis.

 

[Orglethorp]

when I return to that room I can tell if something has been moved or is out of place.

I'm like that too! My Mom used to think it was funny, back before we knew that I have PTSD. When I was a teen I had a bunch of model horses all over my room and she would swap two, turn one around, etc. just to see how long it took before I came and asked why she'd been in my room again. I can see how she was having fun with that, and now, in hind site, I find it funny too, but I really think she did a lot to compound this behaviour in me.


Things that make me jump out of my skin, or freeze but feel like I jumped out of my skin:
- Toasters, even when I expect it
- Emergency vehicle sirens
- Idle whistling that isn't part of a musical performance
- Wooden pallets being dropped (I used to work night shift at a grocery store)
- Being called Jenny
- Suddenly seeing a person moving toward me who should have been in my peripheral vision a lot sooner

 

[littlelostchild]

Aside from the usual unexpected sounds and touches ...

OMG - hearing someone stir something in a glass is awful for me - I have no idea why and it is always bad.

During tough times - the vibration from my Blackberry will do it.

Very specific pieces of music - that were playing while I was experiencing forms of abuse. This is brutal because you can't always control the background music playing in places. Thankfully it rarely happens, but I do worry about it a bit because I don't know all of the music I need to avoid.

 

[Orglethorp]

Another item for my list: Muffled voices. Most background noises don't bother me, and I can tune out conversations going on in the vicinity, but I can't handle the sound of human voices carrying through walls or broadcast over a radio station that isn't completely tuned in so that you can tell it's a human voice but you can't tell what it's saying.

 

[Springer80]

Thanks Orglethorp for your post,

freeze but feel like I jumped out of my skin:

Boy do I know that feeling or at least used to be very familiar with it. It leaves you feeling ripped apart from your sinew. Nicely put though, I'd forgoten about it.

When I was a teen I had a bunch of model horses all over my room and she would swap two, turn one around, etc. just to see how long it took before I came and asked why she'd been in my room again. I can see how she was having fun with that, and now, in hind site,... I really think she did a lot to compound this behaviour in me.

Good point and food for thought, I hope it slowly relinquishes it's grip on your life. X

 

[Abstract]

Here's another one to add to your manufacture list Springer ;)

If only there was a Mute button.