Parents Want To "understand"...help?

[Emma13]

So, my parents and I got into a discussion yesterday morning. My mother was asking me why I was having trouble doing chores, scheduling a dentist appointment, or even trying to find a Job. I know they want to know about my PTSD and I don't know what to tell them so they understand. There are times when I will say that something particular bothers me. For example: being in a crowded room or sitting with my back against the wall. They would then tell me that those things bother them too, but I know it doesn't bother them like it does me. I don't know what to tell them.

 

[Jlso111187]

There are alot of helpful information in the Wiki section on PTSD, maybe you could tell them about this site, or if you dont want them to join the supporters portion so they cant see what you say, you could print stuff off for them to read.

 

[alouis]

Hi Emma, I would like to know more of your ptsd. Let me know more of those things that bother you.

 

[LhasaLover]

Hi Emma,

Have you thought about a joint therapy session with your parents or a parent? Sometimes it is a lot easier to talk with a qualified moderator, i.e., someone with PTSD and trauma experience (any experience that relates to your background).

PTSD can be a very isolating disease as not many people understand it from the outside. It's frustating sometimes that people simply don't understand, but at least on this forum you are surrounded by intelligent people that collectively understand more than one of us will ever know...

 

[saffy]

Hi Emma

I would think it would be important to make it clear that there is not a competition about how intense you and your parents find certain things. But that things that they might take for granted or might make them feel slightly uncomfortable is on a much higher anxiety scale for you.

I think if you were to print out some medical information for them to read stating all the facts as we know it about PTSD then you can then start talking about what exactly triggers you personally.

They have to listen and try not to jump in and 'fix' or especially to tell you that you are over reacting, that you don't feel the way you do or that it cannot be that bad. If they start to try and do this, say it is a trigger and if they want to help they have to respect what you are feeling.

Once they have the background of what PTSD is. You can then start to work on support of your triggers.

I find it positive that your parents want to know and are willing to communicate about it with you.

I hope you find a way :)

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[safenow]

I suggest you go ask Anthony for some good material to share with them. He has some wonderful written things in the wiki section.

 

[Emma13]

Hi Emma,

Have you thought about a joint therapy session with your parents or a parent? Sometimes it is a lot easier to talk with a qualified moderator, i.e., someone with PTSD and trauma experience (any experience that relates to your background).

I actually am not seeing a therapist or shrink at the moment. When I got diagnosed with PTSD two years ago I was seeing a counselor and he didn't actually give me any tools to deal with the trauma or the PTSD. So after a year I stopped seeing him altogether and just found someone at church to confide in.

Thank you Saffy, and Safenow, and LhasaLover.

Hi Emma, I would like to know more of your ptsd. Let me know more of those things that bother you.

Can you please specify what you want to know? I've been trying to figure out what to say since you posted yesterday.

 

[LhasaLover]

Hi Emma,

Just a suggestion, but have you thought of finding a new therapist... one with a background and specialty in PTSD, anxiety... for me, mine specializes in violence as well. There are all kinds of therapists out there and you have to have a repoire. You can chat with them over the telephone, find out which approaches they take. You can learn about the different approaches and post here if you have any questions.

I think the reason people were asking about your PTSD was to find out the nature of its cause, perhaps. When you stated you had PTSD, it is unclear what kind of trauma(s) you experienced. While other's may have not experienced the same trauma as you (an some who indeed have), there will be points that resonate with people and they can help support you better.

I like my own therapist much better than the one that I see with a fammily member. However, I could have never communicated to this family member what PTSD was and why I reacted the way I did without the therapist. Usually you have separate therapists for group and single therapy. It is just a thought, I feel for you and am rooting for you to pull through! It is wonderful to have spiritual support it's just that a therapist can help you tackle the actual diagnosis of PTSD and help you live a better quality life. It took a while for me to catch on to that.

PTSD also can be a really isolating condition, and I believe that perhaps the other member was encouraging you to participate on the forum, it helps!! You have to like your therapists and see/feel the results... Take good care.xx.

 

[Emma13]

I am going to look for a therapist. There is a place close that by that has therapists, but I don't if they specialize in anything like PTSD. When it comes to my PTSD I was just told that I have it. I am very apprehensive to try to self-diagnose further. I would like to have a professional tell me if it is from multiple traumas or if I have C-PTSD. I developed PTSD from three separate sexual traumas.

 

[LhasaLover]

Hi Emma13,

Wonderful, a therapist would be so helpful I truly believe if you find the right one. Usually I can tell by talking on the phone with them when I ask what type of therapy they practice and about anxiety, depression, ptsd if it is a fit or not. Do not hestiatte to call and therapists their specialization and approach.

Some doctors are traditional psychoanalysis, some cognitive behavioral... some therapist give homework, some do not! Each therapist is different and if you don't "click" with your therapist it is no one's fault, you just find one that works for you.

It sounds like you are ready to take positive steps to get help and this therapist will be someone who does understand you. Everyone else on this forum is super supportive as well. Whatever you do, wherever you find yourself, people here are ready to listen. The first step is getting help. The diagnosis is secondary... a good therapist should be able to provide you with relief. Think about what you are looking for a in a therapist and seek that out. Every therapist has different styles.

 

[Springer80]

Hi,

Can I just chip in? it is nice that your parents want to be informed but you cannot be there research assistant and your own recovery manager as well as being expeced to carry on as normal AND be ill!!!! You have to rest and just be careful that they aren't being helpful in order to try and pressure you into being 'fixed'. I have no idea obviously what your relationship is like with them or what they are like as people etc, but it took years and a lot of distress on my part getting my parents to finally help me how I needed it. Don't wear yourself out like that, make sure you put yourself first.

PS tell them to look into the physiological and neuro-biological aspects of it....It's very insightful about how it effects your abilities/behaviour and it will keep 'em busy for a bit! ;)

 

[Emma13]

I printed out articles to give to my parents, but I haven't yet. I am a little apprehensive. In the beginning they were supportive of me getting counseling, but after they saw that I wasn't "getting over" the trauma as fast as they want then they became less supportive. Now it is like they have forgotten that this happened to me and that I am still dealing with it.