DID D.i.d. & ptsd- therapy methods

[angel2write]

Well, I had my diagnosis confirmed today. I definitely have D.I.D. (Not yay. :blackeye: )

The good thing about it is figuring out what's been happening. Not Huntington's. Not a brain tumor. So we started talking about goals and outcomes and therapy options... and I swear, everything she said sounded an awful lot like PTSD therapy. 1) Stabilize 2) Identify & Desensitize triggers (for each part) 3) Process the Trauma (for each part) 4) Consider more EMDR for stubborn triggers 5) Try to live happily ever after.

Same old same old, just slightly more complicated, I guess, by the fact that not all the triggers and memories are stored in the same "compartment," so to speak. It does explain some of the symptoms I've had that haven't strictly fit the PTSD diagnosis. And in that way, it's a relief to find that someone recognizes what's going on and knows what to do about it. My former T (who only did PTSD) was sometimes rather thrown by what was happening.

PTSD, D.I.D... I am developing quite an alphabet of diagnoses, here! Sheesh.

Well, I don't know why I'm posting this, except, I guess, that I feel a little lonely facing this. It's odd. It's freakishly odd to acknowledge this truth. It feels a little unreal- like I accidentally stumbled into a movie about someone else's life. You know, it was only about three years ago that the memories really started breaking through. And since then it's been a rollercoaster ride of adrenaline, anxiety, shame, fear, pain, and garbage. Is this the bottom? Is it going to go up from here?

I am ready to get off the roller coaster and have some cotton candy, please.

 

[safenow]

Is it going to go up from here?

Yes, my dear. You are on that wonderful path called "Healing".

I am so pleased that you have a person who specializes in DID & PTSD. Good job. Not all therapists deal with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Back when I was first diagnosed they called it Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). It was considered so rare, that most of the medical people didn't believe it was real. You wouldn't believe how we were treated back in those days. Rather a horror story.

I'm glad you were diagnosed in this day and age where at least you will be accepted, and they can give you some good tools to manage your life while you're trying to work with each of your personalities.

I learned something, just this week, that you might be interested in. As you heal each personalities trauma, you become a whole person. Mine go back to age 2. Over the past 65 years, I have been trying to comfort that little one, and help her to feel safe. That is really all she ever wanted. In fact, that is all any of me (24 personalities) has ever wanted. To feel safe. I finally figured out, all these years, the only thing that kept us from being healed, is that we all wanted to feel protected. Which comes from love. But we never felt that before.

Just thought I'd give you my .02 on this subject.

Stay safe, and keep going forward.
safenow

 

[maddog]

Angel2write, I feel a mix of relief and sadness for you, relief at the fact that you now have an accurate diagnoses and a structured way forward, and sadness at the length and complexity of this journey. I don't have DID, I have PTSD, but I wanted to comment on what you said about the therapeutic approach/goals seeming so much like PTSD therapy.

A year ago I first attended a trauma treatment centre supposedly for trauma and dissociation disorders/treatment generally. I was thrown and more than a little perturbed to discover on my arrival that almost everyone there had DID. Excuse me? What was I doing there? Was I in the wrong room? Somebody tell me where I'm supposed to be!!

What I have learned over the past 12 months is that really, there are far far more similarities than differences in terms of both the treatment, manifesting issues and general life challenges experienced between sufferers of DID and complex PTSD. Yes, of course there are differences, and these must surely be accounted for through tailored therapy, but truly I don't believe i have been denied any relevant support or treatment on the basis of having done a portion of my therapy in this setting, and I have learned a lot of coping skills and strategies and gained a lot of genuine empathy through the time I have spent in this group.

Perhaps even more surprisingly, I have found that some of my most intense and challenging trauma processing work, particularly that which I have worked on using EMDR, has involved working with "parts" of myself - not separate dissociated identities per se, but very distinct developmental and personality parts of myself.

I guess I say all of that rather awkwardly to say that while I know the diagnosis may seem overwhelming and discouraging at this time, you have already travelled a long way on the journey, and much of what lies ahead of you will likely be a refinement of work you have already been doing.

Wishing you all the best.

Maddog

 

[angel2write]

Thank you both, very much. (Hugs Safenow & Maddog)

Feeling safe... sounds wonderful. I know I AM safe now, but I guess learning to feel it is going to take a little longer.