I've been medically retired since april of 2010. This year I was moved from TDRL to PDRL...
I have not been receiving treatment for PTSD as I should have been. Mostly, the gabapentin that I take for phantom limb pain helps with anxiety (off label) as well. So I've been managing anxiety with this.
Now I've always been put off by therapy. The mental health services that I was receiving while still in weren't helping and I think were largely making things worse as it often forced me to dwell on the worst parts rather than moving past them. I question heavily the effectivness of prolonged exposure therapy. I'm not some parade horse that needs to be desensitized to marching band drums.
I also had bad experiences with group therapy. People that wanted to carry their PTSD like it was some sort of trophy and sounded to me like they were faking. Like the sound of far away gun fire made them get PTSD... just never really sat well with me. Maybe I'm just having a problem empathizing with others. Regardles, I typically don't want others to know while some people run around telling everyone they have it.
But the time has come for me to put my bad experiences aside. I am about to pursue education which will involve a move for me. Thankfully, it gets me away from the constant explosions shaking my house from nearby training which contributes to having nightmares.
My thing about services with the V.A.... they try to hand out pills instead of helping. I don't need more pills... I've had a very bad exeperience with doctors attempting to medicate my PTSD as the meds made things worse rather than better. Going to a doctor and complaining about how the Zoloft is making me more anxious and being told that my system just needed to accept the medicine and having the dosage increased was what really turns me off to the idea. I am very sensitive to meds.
Having told this to the V.A... what did they do? Tried to medicate me with the same stuff. It's like they don't HEAR what you're telling them.
But I ackowlege... I can't continue to live my life like this. Gabapentin's effectiveness for phantom limb is almost completely gone. It can be taken in very high dosages but that leaves me extremely sleepy and I can't have that if I'm going to go to class. So it is likely a perscription change is in the near future and I won't be able to take it in conjunction... doctor is talking about moving me to nortriptyline.
Does the V.A. referr people to a private provider for PTSD therapy? I'm not even sure how to get that request in. And has anyone here had experience similar to mine and have any input?
I want to get this under control so that I can go to school... get it done and start on a new life so that I build new memories and push my military service out of the forefront. It's time for me to move on... but I don't want to return to failed government treatment approaches.
I have not been receiving treatment for PTSD as I should have been. Mostly, the gabapentin that I take for phantom limb pain helps with anxiety (off label) as well. So I've been managing anxiety with this.
Now I've always been put off by therapy. The mental health services that I was receiving while still in weren't helping and I think were largely making things worse as it often forced me to dwell on the worst parts rather than moving past them. I question heavily the effectivness of prolonged exposure therapy. I'm not some parade horse that needs to be desensitized to marching band drums.
I also had bad experiences with group therapy. People that wanted to carry their PTSD like it was some sort of trophy and sounded to me like they were faking. Like the sound of far away gun fire made them get PTSD... just never really sat well with me. Maybe I'm just having a problem empathizing with others. Regardles, I typically don't want others to know while some people run around telling everyone they have it.
But the time has come for me to put my bad experiences aside. I am about to pursue education which will involve a move for me. Thankfully, it gets me away from the constant explosions shaking my house from nearby training which contributes to having nightmares.
My thing about services with the V.A.... they try to hand out pills instead of helping. I don't need more pills... I've had a very bad exeperience with doctors attempting to medicate my PTSD as the meds made things worse rather than better. Going to a doctor and complaining about how the Zoloft is making me more anxious and being told that my system just needed to accept the medicine and having the dosage increased was what really turns me off to the idea. I am very sensitive to meds.
Having told this to the V.A... what did they do? Tried to medicate me with the same stuff. It's like they don't HEAR what you're telling them.
But I ackowlege... I can't continue to live my life like this. Gabapentin's effectiveness for phantom limb is almost completely gone. It can be taken in very high dosages but that leaves me extremely sleepy and I can't have that if I'm going to go to class. So it is likely a perscription change is in the near future and I won't be able to take it in conjunction... doctor is talking about moving me to nortriptyline.
Does the V.A. referr people to a private provider for PTSD therapy? I'm not even sure how to get that request in. And has anyone here had experience similar to mine and have any input?
I want to get this under control so that I can go to school... get it done and start on a new life so that I build new memories and push my military service out of the forefront. It's time for me to move on... but I don't want to return to failed government treatment approaches.