Relationship Not Everything Is Ptsd

[Nicolette]

I'm saying this with a blanket statement - call it being cruel to be kind...

NOT EVERY BAD BEHAVIOUR is PTSD.

Don't blame the illness for everything you wouldn't normally accept in a relationship if you took PTSD out of the equation....

 

[Abstract]

Nicolette,

It seems to me that an awful lot of the things people discuss on here in terms of relationships that are not directly to do with PTSD. Something PTSD related may "trigger" the action but how someone reacts and how they treat others around them is mostly to do with personality. Having PTSD is not an excuse to treat others badly. We are all responsible for our own behaviour.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Wish I could like that a thousands times Nicolette.

I do wonder about the healthiness of some things I read, to be honest. Bad behavior is bad behavior, period!

 

[Loloma]

Words of wisdom Nicolette and food for thought!

 

[ashdawn8287]

Their is no excuse for bad behavior. I agree with abstract. It is a matter of personality. Yes, PTSD causes symptoms but if the person is inherently rude and hard to be around and uses there PTSD as an excuse, then no that is not okay. That is being lazy and not wanting to do the work in order to get better. Excuses for bad behavior is an unhealthy coping mechanism and it should not be tolerated.

Triggers vs a bad personality are two different things.

 

[Nicolette]

I'm talking about all the influx of new supporters rationalising not being contacted as PTSD - it isn't always.

If a man with PTSD tells you he loves you but can't cope in a relationship he means it. He is probably politely saying he wants a f**k buddy and there is no 'PTSD' rationale from a Supporters end to justify otherwise. You are just kidding yourself if you think otherwise.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm talking about all the influx of new supporters rationalising not being contacted as PTSD - it isn't always.

Hmmm I just recently started to view the supporter pages and noticed the same. Perhaps it is a way to feel better? I mean blame the PTSD instead of him/her just not being into you. It keeps the ego from being bruised.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

You just said what I've been thinking as I've read some of the posts. Sometimes it's a different anxiety disorder. Or maybe depression. But the actual point is that unacceptable behavior is still unacceptable no matter what a person's diagnosis is.

 

[Nicolette]

I mean blame the PTSD instead of him/her just not being into you. It keeps the ego from being bruised.

Better for the ego but detrimental in the bigger picture? Even unhealthy?

 

[Pencil]

just not being into you

I've wanted to say this MANY times over the past weeks:

MAYBE S/HE IS JUST NOT INTO YOU!!

I repeatedly see two versions of this:

1. When breaking up with someone, it's standard procedure to say: 'It's not you, it's me.' With PTSD, there is an added advantage, as the sufferer who ends a relationships now has a neat loophole: 'It's not you, and it's not me either, it's PTSD!'

2. Some sufferers are not even polite or cowardly - they simply walk away. And now the supporter goes: 'Oh, he/she doesn't really want to leave me, it's the PTSD making him / her do that. My poor baby.'

 

[pie]

So true.

 

[nursenurse]

Read my mind exactly, I feel like I am a broken record, I wish I had the voice of Celine, but I still don't think anyone would listen :D These newbies all sound very young, with stars in their eyes, and I am torn because I started off here looking for answers. At least I try not to be a Wendy Whiner. If some of these ones don't get the answer they are looking for, well, they go on! And on. And on some more. And yes, it's that same old thing. He may not be into you. And you cannot be professing your love, to anyone, in a matter of a few days or weeks. This ain't titanic, unless you are describing the sinking of the ship.