General The Angry Thread

[The Albatross]

Of course you are right. That is not the way to handle it. He's blowing you off and aiming at numb out if he is unwilling to have the discussion about why he is choosing to "cope" in this manner. Just my take.

 

[kacee129]

This is just a rant. I am freaking so angry. I want to tell you to take a slow boat to China. I want to know WHY you won't seek treatment. I'm tired of having to handle every problem myself. I'm mad because I feel all you care about is yourself. I'm tired of having to put on a happy face around you all the time because you can't handle "another problem"

I am freaking mad!

 

[LizardViolet]

OK, so you're seeing someone else in addition to me. That's fine. I've got a husband, and I've got you, and it's fine if you want to identify as poly as well.

But geeze louise your picker sucks! I would never say this to your face, but this woman you're dating makes me so mad!

Clearly she lacks empathy. She doesn't seem to have either a clue or any curiosity about PTSD or your feelings or your needs at all. She always wants to take you to parties and big events. She's needy and demanding. It's great that she has given you a job managing and maintaining the apartments she owns, but she criticizes you and freaks out on you. She's paranoid! She accuses you of spying on her for the CIA!

On top of that, she's not entirely comfortable with the idea of polyamory. She's jealous. She knows about me but isn't happy that I exist. (Hello, I was here first, sweetie!) I'd be happy to meet her in some neutral location, to give her the chance to see that I'm a generous and centered person and that I'm happy to accept her place in your life and glad that you have someone else who loves you. Except really, that doesn't seem like a good idea. You call me to make sure I won't be going to that monthly dinner when you and she are going. She knows my name and I'm sure she could find me with a quick Google (and, potentially worse, find my employer), but I really don't want to draw her paranoid attention to myself. Look at how she's behaved already. She saw my profile on the meetup group, the one that was clearly unchanged for the past three years, that said I wanted to date two or three men, and accused me, to you, of cheating on you. Hostile much, F?

And now she's nosing in on my territory, which is the time I spend with you. She gets Saturdays and Wednesday nights. Fridays and Sundays are mine. Maybe you don't realize this, but when you told me last week that you had plans Friday and Saturday nights, meaning she gave you an invitation for Friday night, I was very, very angry. Very very. I don't give you invitations for her nights. I don't even f*cking CALL you or TEXT you when she's with you. All I can say, F, is stay the f*ck away from my Friday nights. It's a good thing you had already committed to something with me, that I had TICKETS for, and that you admitted your mistake and told her no. It makes my blood pressure rise just thinking about it.

You seem to have trouble, in general, saying no to her. You have a history of being with women who didn't understand you and didn't treat you well. Even when you were unhappy and saw that you were being abused, you stayed. For months, or years. I suppose this is what you think you deserve, and what some part of you thinks a relationship looks like.

I assume you are getting something out of this relationship. She is needy, and it's nice to be needed. I'm quite a bit more self-sufficient. I imagine you feel a sense of obligation to her tenants, too, since you're easier for them to deal with than she is. But you know, there are other apartments that need managers, where the owners aren't paranoid or unkind. There are other women you could date who would be kind to you.

You spend the day dealing with her freaking out, and then I get you in the evening, or at the end of the week, and you're stressed out and armored up and likely to take it out on me.

Now she gave you those big pillows for your bed, and a couple more for the couch. OK, they're nice pillows, but next time, I'm moving them off the bed if we're feeling frisky. I swear, it was like she was present. Yuck, and creepy. Sorry, sweetie, if it bothers you that my toothbrush and soap are in the bathroom. Once again: I was here first. You have no idea what I've been through.

How long is this going to go on? Are you going to stay with her for a year, or two, or more?

Are you even capable of breaking up with her? You'd probably lose the job, too, although it doesn't seem like she pays you very much. She would rant and rage and maybe she would stalk you, and maybe she would sabotage my life, too. (I wonder, does she have a history of that?) This woman is quicksand. You deserve better.

 

[amethist]

I am angry at my husband trying to make out that his cold is a lot worse than mine.

Its not a competition, but he has got a sniffle, I have been ill for a week and he has just put me down with it.

 

[melmelrn]

Wow.. I am so glad that I found this place. I am frustrated and angry. I want my life back. I want my strong loving husband back. I need someone to help me through all this. I need for you to be a man again. I get so mad when you run to the ER for every little twinge you feel. I know what happened. I lived through it too. I was there every second, every minute of every day. You talk about how much seeing the psychiatrist is helping you.. But is it really? The doctors have told you over and over that you can't drink alcohol with the meds you are on. But what did you do all weekend?? Exactly.. beer after beer, drink after drink. You aren't supposed to be dipping with your heart problems, but what do you do. Exactly, can after can, not going more than 15 minutes without a dip in your mouth. I deserve better. Our kids deserve better. YOU deserve better.

I hate they way that this makes me feel. I hate that I resent you. I hate that I dread coming home from work now. I hate that I can't talk to you anymore. I hate that you have no clue about this.

 

[LizardViolet]

Geeze I hate it when my boyfriend freaks out on me for missing a call or a text.

He blames me. IT IS NOT SOMETHING I AM ACTIVELY DOING TO MESS WITH HIM. If I am in a meeting with my manager, I DO NOT HAVE MY PHONE IN THE ROOM. If I have earbuds in and am watching some teevee and the phone is across the room, I am not a bad person if I didn't hear the goddamn phone.

Yet it is all my fault. I am the bad person. I must go away until I can "behave."

Yeah, honey, I'll let you know when I get that phone hardware surgically implanted. In the meantime, oh how I wish he would (a) chill the f*ck out and (b) stop blaming me for things I am not in charge of.

 

[Court]

• I'm angry about many things one being you use me for a comfort zone and are well aware of the fact I want to help.
• I'm pi**ed at the mean words you throw at me when I have done nothing.
• I angry I have nobody and you know this but say oh f***ing well to bad.
• I hate you try and control me and when you realize you can't you hate me.
• Lastly I hate all the messed up sh*t you have done to me and I have always stood by your side loving you unconditionally and I am now just the dirt beneath your feet unless you want or need something.

Ok that was nice to vent out without being judged or treated like crap for expressing myself.

 

[partnergoingmadtoo]

All I have to say is GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, I can't even write more than that at the moment, but I'm glad to have somewhere to express it.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I'm angry that he just f*cked off and disappeared for days without even having the common courtesy to at least throw me a text to let me know he is alive. I know not to bother him when he is isolating, so I'm not wanting a conversation. I'm not an idiot. I'm learning the "rules." But holy hell, just a text, "I'm OK" is not too straining. I think I just found a new boundary to set! You have to make sure to let me know you are not dead in a ditch somewhere every so often when you are isolating. :spitdummy:

It pisses me off that he has to worry me sick. F*ck this double standard... if I ever decided to just disappear on him he would lose his mind. This is the longest he has ever done this to me. It's been days. If it hits a week, I may just go nuclear.

I'm angry that I can't give him the tongue lashing I want to give him for this. It sucks to have to be the calm mature one all the time. Sometimes I want to yell at him because he is being an ass!

 

[Nicolette]

I think I just found a new boundary to set!

I implemented that at the start..... Anthony was in the habit with his ex wife of the "leaving" game where one of them would take off to their family etc. I figure they at least knew where one another was but it wasn't a life I was going to lead. My rules were disappearing or even taking off (other than for a walk, drive, alone for a coffee etc to disengage and telling me where he would be) were not acceptable, under any terms, and the professional I spoke to about it said it was actually abusive in their opinion.

It took time for Anthony not to threaten to leave. He doesn't anymore but I must admit I have wanted to book him a flight at times :mad::rolleyes::whistling:

 

[Sweetpea76]

I must admit I have wanted to book him a flight at times

I'm about to book mine a flight... to the moon on the toe of my boot!

This is the first time he's done this to me in almost the year we've been together, and I am not liking the situation at all. This is not something that I'd be willing to repeat. :mad:

 

[Lunada94]

I'm angry because:

• You have destroyed our family's finances because you can't keep a job because of this PTSD
• You don't have any clue how your PTSD affects me. I'm angry because you don't care.
• I'm angry because of the things you say to me; the names you call me and the way you treat me. You don't recognize or acknowledge all the things I have done to support you and keep you from exploding. But if I screw up one time....BAM! It's over for me.
• I and our children walk on eggshells sometimes. What kind of way of life is that?
• I'm angry at the abuse you received at the hands of people for something you never did wrong. And I'm angry at what it's doing to me. I am jumpy now.