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Poll Who Walks On Eggshells Around You?

Who walks on eggshells around you?

  • Family

    Votes: 23 39.0%
  • Friends

    Votes: 13 22.0%
  • Spouse and or children

    Votes: 16 27.1%
  • Therapist

    Votes: 2 3.4%
  • Work colleagues

    Votes: 7 11.9%
  • Strangers such as waiters or staff in shops

    Votes: 2 3.4%
  • I am the one walking on eggshells

    Votes: 33 55.9%
  • None of the above apply.

    Votes: 6 10.2%

  • Total voters
    59
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Thanks Nicolette! :) Thought maybe no one would answer if visible!

Decided to give a definition of what walking on eggshells means for those on the Autistic Spectrum or who are not English speakers.
Here are two:
"If you are walking on eggs/eggshells, you are being very careful not to offend someone or do anything wrong"
"If you have to walk on eggshells when with someone, you have to be very careful because they get angry or offended very easily."

Essentially there is a constant state of alert involved.
 
For me, this question is intermixed, with the reality that I am, a transsexual. Around my mom, I have to be very careful, or I trigger a reaction, like the first time, she found out about me. Telling me, "Hell would freeze over first, and I would have to crawl on my hands and knees, begging her forgiveness, before she would think about it." But, it's her general behaviour around me, which worsens my anxiety levels.
 
To the extent that it's possible, I've eliminated those friends who can't get over the eggshell dance. I have enough difficulty coping with my own shame, stigma and lack of self acceptance without those factors being reflected back to me in the behaviour of others, so those who haven't overcome their awkwardnesses within a reasonable period of time and exposure have generally been distanced from me. That's cost me a few former friends and people I'd hoped for better from, but sometimes you can't tell with people.

Currently being off work, I am separate from my work colleagues, but while I was still working, the floor would absolutely crackle with shells for a lot of the time I was there. I imagine that if and when I return, the same will apply.

Given that I have not only PTSD, but also a physical disability that tends to attract a lot of negative attention and eggshell-crunching, I tend to get a lot of this from the general public, and it's much more impossible to eliminate.

Maddog
 
Noone does.

I have had to learn to modify my behaviour to deal with everything and everyone around me.

I have BPD and PTSD, and I know I react more strongly to those around me. I still have outbursts, especially of anger, however I have learned to control myself and also to think before I speak. I feel emotions more than other people. If I feel like I am going to cry for no reason, I tell people who may ask I got something in my eye. They actually react by trying to help me get it out which actually makes me feel better as I think "wow someone cares I have something in my eye"

I also avoid people, and choose my friends very carefully. Not many people can deal with the way I am. I can be too rough, especially in the things I say. I know what I can and cannot say to certain people.

If I am stomping around in a bad mood, if someone asks... I have a headache and am not feeling well.

If I feel like snapping at someone, I leave the room.

If I feel the paranoia coming on, instead of opening my mouth, I go make a list of why this person would hate me, what did I do to them. Normally then the realisation that they are not going to hurt me and that there is no reason helps give me a hard slap in the face of reality.

If I feel like I want so screw everyone I meet, I think hard about the consequences, my family breaking apart, the guilt I would feel afterwards.

As a teenager it was awful, noone ever tried to help deal with my illness. Home was a war zone and I was quick to leave.

In a way I am glad I have this illness, as it has given me an insight on what it must be like to be "normal" and that not everyone feels like I do. The worst for me is the paranoia and constant scanning of the environment for harm. I really feel like everyone hates me and someone is going to try and kill me. It can be very time consuming, I am just glad I found a way to deal with it in a postive manner.
 
I think that is the thing with civilian PTSD... no one "gets" it and therefor, no one walks on eggshells around you. When I was growing up, I was military in a big military town... we knew (and joked as kids) not to say "bang" or "boom" or "hit the deck" or "cover!" behind someone that looked like they fit the Vietnam era age. All we knew was they could snap and hurt you. We didn't know it was PTSD. Now, I'm older and find myself in my first year of PTSD from a civilian trauma and, of course, it comes with a different set of triggers. Each civilian case has a different set of triggers... most military have the same or very simular. So I think what I'm saying (and I'm winded), is that walking down the street, people can't look at you and say "better not upset him/her" like they could the stereotypical Vietnam vet with his OD green jacket and unkept beard. Therefor, you have to find your own ways around the triggers.
 
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