It Is Just Way Too Much!

[Me Myself and I]

PTSD, eating disorders, low self esteem, low self confidence, personality disorders, panic attacks, nightmares, anxiety, trust issues, paranoia, fears, mood swings and I can keep going for ever.

I am so tired, all these issues are "trapping" me, and holding me back from living a normal life a 23 years old girl can have (should) have.

I no longer know what is like to be "normal", not to worry about you having some episod infront of someone, or having one of your mood swings while with friends. It effects me and everyone surrounding me, and that makes me feel guilty as well, which is of no help what so ever.

I know I do post like a hundred threads a day, but I feel like this is the only place, where people actually understand and try to help out.

I don't know what to do anymore? What to expect? Is it just a temporary thing? Or should I start to learn how to live with all of this and just accept it as a part of me?

 

[ms spock]

I don't know if this might help Nabii nabzz.

I think when it all gets too much then it is time to go back to basics and really focus on the simple gradual changes and progress. You get up and eat then that is something to record and celebrate. You sit in the sun then that is something to record and celebrate.

Break it down to baby steps and really focus on the smallest of the positive moments in your day. Or a particular colour.

Some days I can do this, some days I don't do so well and get lost in the negativity. I hope that this is somehow helpful.

 

[Life_in_the_Mist]

I have felt the same frustration. I think the first step is getting rid of the idea of "normal." We think everyone else is enjoying their lives, everyone else is "normal," but we have no idea what it is like inside their heads. Some people are able to hide their issues better than others. As for being afraid of having an episode in public, my solution is to surround myself with people who understand. I think we do need to learn to accept these issues as part of us, at least for now. This is not defeat, it can actually be the first step in healing.

 

[Me Myself and I]

Thank you ms Pock, it does help, even if seeing those positive moments and appreciating them, is not such an easy task I have to say.

Thanks againg for your reply, is nice to know that people here do actually care. :)

This is not defeat, it can actually be the first step in healing.

I loved that, it is so true.

Thank you very much. :)

 

[Life_in_the_Mist]

I am glad it was helpful :)

 

[Jyar]

I used to beg, plead, and pray to be normal. Then I stopped caring, not in a sense of giving up and letting go. I found ways to define my own normality.

It worked for me for quite a while. I even took pride in the fact that I didn't fit the norm. Until about two years ago when unresolved issues that I'd never spoken of or addressed began surfacing in ways that I couldn't control. I was dubbed as having no filter and was the last person people wanted to be around.

Like yourself I can list many different issues/disorders that I experience. But I take solace knowing that I am not alone anymore. We have to focus on the small wins, the little things that matter most.

I hope you find peace tonight and sleep well.

Jay