Bad Memory?

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm wondering if this would bother anyone else?

My therapist has a hard time remembering things. From day 1 I told her about my vacation. Every session from then leading up to my vacation (about 6 in all) she remarked that while she was on vacation I could see her back up therapist. Well, I didn't need to as we had vacation the same week. I reminded her of this every time, but she never remembered. (Six times...? If I was told the exact same thing six times by a therapist and didn't remember, I'd be labeled as "dissociative"....yes, I had that happen once when there was a misunderstanding about something I was told only ONCE....but I digress...)

And the memory thing continues. Last week she gave me two different session times, saying she wasn't sure which one would be best and that she'd let me know this week. Low and behold, this week she doesn't remember doing so and stated that she wrote down my appointment for Friday. (I wrote down both appointment times and locations, so I know I'm not mistaken!)

I just don't see how I can have faith in someone who repeatedly has shown to have a poor memory. I just wonder what else she's forgotten that hasn't come to light yet! I mean isn't it her job to be able to remember things? Even after being told SIX times?

There is a lot more she doesn't remember. In depth discussions about supplements, adrenal testing, etc. And yes, these things have been discussed multiple times as well. It doesn't inspire much faith!

 

[Leah123]

I saw a therapist years ago who was also forgetful. I found it discouraging at best, a sign of incompetence at worst. Your therapist seems to have a worse memory than mine did. To forget something after half a dozen reminders suggests a major problem: I don't know whether the problem might be that she is overworked, uninterested, or senile, but it's not good no matter what the reason. I would worry very much about my therapist not having a sense of my narrative, my history, my progress, if they didn't remember things consistently. I do not think it is just you at all. My current therapist often references things I said previously in sessions and she does have occasional memory glitches, but I can't recall ever having to tell her something more than twice. How attached to her are you? Is she excellent in some other regard? I don't envy you having that problem.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Ehhhh....I'm not that attached to tell you the truth. I have been trying to give it a chance, but there seem to be a lot of bumps along the road so to speak. I know some of this is normal, so I was hoping things would overall improve. But, I still have lingering doubts.

She is quite knowledgable about personality disorders and understands how I am struggling with my mother who displays narcissistic traits. So that is a plus.

I started seeing her because I thought I wanted to give neurofeedback another try. She made the settings too high and I was SO agitated the next day. The next session she lowered the settings and I had more bad effects. I now don't want to do neurofeedback but she disagrees with my decision and doesn't believe I should be having bad effects from it. Ohhhh....just ask my family and they'll tell you how hard I am to live with the day after a session! I just don't appreciate the pressure tactics to do something I'm not comfortable with. It is MY brain, isn't it?!?

Sorry for rambling on. I just needed to get that out. I'll do a bit more thinking about the situation.

 

[CrazyHorse]

I once fired a T because of her 'bad memory'! She could not even remember what my main trauma was all about!! Either she was not listning, or she did not care. Either way, I took it as a sign of incompetence.

 

[Flyaway]

I'd move on- find another therapist. Sounds like this one isn't right for you.

 

[DMerish]

er

I'd move on- find another therapist. Sounds like this one isn't right for you.

It seems to me there are three types of therapists:

1. The type that came from a fairly healthy background, have a genuine interest in therapeutic modalities and in helping other people. These folks are pretty stable, have insight, provide good models, remember things or at least write notes about what you tell them to help them recall who you are and what's going on in your life.
2. The type that got into the profession because of their own disorder. Depending on their disorder and how they've managed it, they can have a lot of insight/understanding and be very helpful, but some are deficient (IMO) or aren't managing.
   (Could you have hooked up with one of ^ them?)
3. The type that only want your money, sting you along, say what they think you want to hear, and with them you move along very slowly or get nowhere. Types 1 and 2 can evolve into type 3 depending on how their career moves along.

I saw a therapist privately for a while that I thought I liked. She had all the right education, certifications, lots of experience, etc. She had even been a psychology professor at the local University of Health, practiced at their clinic, seemed to have good insight. She was older, and I have/had issues about my mother not being present in my life (emotional neglect/abandonment due to her health problem). I went one day and her office and it had been cleaned out. No note on the door: nothing. I called - her phone was disconnected. Months later I learned she had been fired from the University for reasons I'm not aware of. She sued them, and spoke to the media. The University sued her for slander. She had simply left town!

 

[twopenny]

I'd be very mistrustful...

I've always had a really dreadful memory (not sure if PTSD related or just me), so I take copious and frighteningly long lists of things, so that I remember them.

To be aware that your memory is dodgy and not take the obvious steps to counter it is - well... just a bit lacking in basic intelligence?? Unless her memory is so bad she forgets to take the notes (which I have to admit that I have done once or twice).

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Drew,

I think she is a type 1 that grew into a type 3. She is a PhD/RN. She gives me these high pressure tactics of "you NEED to come in twice a week" and she will automatically give me session times without letting me say much of anything.

She repeatedly keeps pushing these supplements on me and just recently she said she must charge a $10 surcharge to everyone who buys them through her so that she doesn't lose money on taxes. This just doesn't sound right---why not just charge the exact amount due? And then she made some comment about how if I wanted to just order the supplements directly that I would have to give her my credit card number so I could get the discount under her account. Again, this seems odd.

Now that I type it all out I see just how weird the situation is. And she knows I'm on disability with a very limited income, yet thinks I can afford $70 a month just for one supplement?

I think many of you are right----not a good fit. I just wanted this to work so I kept trying.

 

[twopenny]

Admittedly I'm lucky (in the UK, so one standard prescription charge of approx £7), but that sounds wrong to me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It's not a prescription, rather a supplement....you know, the unregulated over the counter kind?

 

[DMerish]

she said she must charge a $10 surcharge to everyone who buys them through her so that she doesn't lose money on taxes. This just doesn't sound right---why not just charge the exact amount due?

It helps me to write, or type things out to put things in perspective (and get feedback from others) also.I don't know, Solara.

What do you think you want to do?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi Drew,

I think I am going to end therapy with her. I feel very pressured to do things her way and I struggle with asserting myself toward those who are overpowering in real life, so I don't want that struggle to replay in therapy.