Wanting to isolate

[stephanie44]

I am not sure if this post belongs in this category or not.
I have Complex PTSD and also suffer from a mood disorder, which involves mostly depression. I was supposed to have dinner with a friend last night but did not go because I was too tired and wanted to be alone. I did not leave the house today and did not want to be with people. I am an extrovert so this is not really like me. Is this unusual? Does anyone else isolate? Why does this need to be alone even happen? Thank you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yes, we all do it. Why? The stress cup explanation says it all.

 

[ms spock]

I have had a lot of problems with isolating during the last two years. If you can push past it so you don't have long term effects from it. Even if you go for half an hour.

 

[franciemarnie]

I used to isolate every weekend after a week of work to reduce chance of triggers and for restoration of energy.

 

[stephanie44]

That sounds familiar - I am with people(children and adults) all week long, go to therapy two times a week, practice with my church choir one night a week, and sometimes do things with friends on weekends. But there are times I feel I just need to process everything.

 

[bell]

Yes, we all do it. Why? The stress cup explanation says it all.

Yes! It does. (I hate that darn cup... it always fills up too fast!) I think mine is Dixie cup size sometimes.

I used to isolate every weekend after a week of work to reduce chance of triggers and for restoration of energy.

I have done this most weekends in the past year since my PTSD diagnosis. While sometimes it feels a bit lame when I hear my co-workers talk about their awesome weekends, I feel better for doing it. And, lately, I've been finding myself getting lonely sometimes, which I've been taking as a positive sign that I'm getting better.

@stephanie44 For me, I need to be alone because I need to recharge my batteries after being so "on" (either for work or projects I'm doing or friends or heck, just the rush of commuting) all the time. I find it a way to re-center myself and get back to a level where I'm good with people (and myself) again. You probably will get flack for it from your friends, but do you need to do to make *yourself* better!

 

[LostWorld]

Yes I isolate but mainly cause someone I live with tries to trigger me deliberately

 

[maddog]

The issue of isolating and whether or not this is a healthy/restorative or withdrawal/avoidance matter comes up for discussion all the time, because it is one of the strange and really difficult anomalies of PTSD. As with most things, there is no rule or simple answer. We are all different in terms of our underlying personalities and preferences to begin with, and so the type and level of social contact and connection will be ideally different for all of us, just as with everyone in the population.

PTSD is definitely a complicating factor that can exert a lot of impact on our natural needs and tendencies, but again, whether or not more-than-usual social isolation is actually stabilising and therapeutic, or damaging and inhibiting, is also dependent on the individual, your life, where you're at with your PTSD, and a whole range of other variables.

It sounds like you lead a very busy and socially intense life Stephanie, and my immediate reaction upon reading your post was that it's little wonder you were tired and didn't feel like going out to dinner. If it's what felt right for you, and if you feel overall better for it (setting aside, to some degree, the sense of social obligation and guilt), then chances are it was a wise and self-nurturing choice. I think isolation becomes a problem, for the most part, only when it begins to interfere with our ability to manage our lives and meet a reasonable standard of lifestyle obligations, or when it begins to feel obsessive, continual and pervasive across many domains of life and activity.

It's something to keep an eye on in terms of overall coping, but not to stress about if you can help it, as you have a lot onyour plate and balancing all of it is challenge enough without becoming too caught up thinking about the balancing act.

Maddog

 

[ashdawn8287]

I need time by myself to regain energy back. People are exhausting!! I like to be alone as is, so add in PTSD and I have to really watch myself with this. Sometimes I am just too blah to want to talk to anyone. I try to force myself out but I don't make a lot of connections, which with my personality is okay. I can be in public and do things alone in public and not feel isolated and without having to exert more energy into conversations. I joined a student group at my church, BUT they are all so much sometimes I am thinking I just want to be here and worship not talk, but I don't want to be rude. I don't really have a need for human connection most of things I like to do are things that people do by themselves. Reading, sketching, music, yoga, and meditating. I chalk it up to my personality.

I try to make myself speak in class everyday. I visit my sister and niece on good days. My fiancee and I like to live in solitude. We have our friends come over, we are the only ones that own an actual house. We like country living and relaxing with no added stress from the world.

 

[ajmbt]

I isolate also.

There is a lot of energy expended going to work all week, to appointments, etc.

By the time the weekend comes I am exhausted. I simply stay home, nap a lot. Try to build myself up to get through the next week.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I think mine is Dixie cup size sometimes.

:laugh: Mine too!

@stephanie44 I isolate a lot. Though I will push myself to leave the house becasue I find that isolation does not work in the long run.

 

[stephanie44]

Thanks! I did go to church and sing in the choir today, which was good. I wanted to go to a dance class this afternoon and then a support group for survivors, but this depression makes me feel tired and like I want to just rest. I should also go grocery shopping but my anxiety level is too high right now to leave the house.