I'm really glad that those who have read this, have 'liked' it. I hope that it gives those of you who are struggling, some hope that you can find happiness.
It would be completely dishonest of me to suggest that it hasn't been hard work, or that there hasn't been difficult times. There has been a hell of a lot of hard work by both my husband and myself, and there's been more than our fair share of difficulties. Yes, he has PTSD, but I have depression and anxiety, and that presents it's own set of problems.
My husband can be one hell of an argumentative individual and bloody annoying at times, but then again, I'm not perfect either :)
To his credit, he is very, very, determined. Sometimes that has been troublesome and has worried me, but for the most part, and certainly where addressing his mental health is concerned, it has been incredibly positive.
It's so nice to see a positive message on here. Was your husband good at communicating his needs to you? How did you handle some of the tough spots?
StrongHeart - it took my husband going into therapy (which he sought out himself) for us to realise just how important it is to communicative assertively. Without complete trust in each other, and communicating effectively, things can easily come undone. Don't get me wrong, it certainly took work on both our parts to really learn how to communicate properly. It almost sounds ridiculous in a way... you'd think that communicating well would be easy, but in actual fact, I came to learn that there were ways in which we just weren't getting it right at all. There has been a lot of trial and error to get this right, as well as us both learning that there is absolutely no point sweating on the small things - it is far healthier for both of us to let certain things go. One thing in particular, which you have probably gotten from this message, is that you both need to want things to work - if only one of you does, then it is an uphill battle that really won't get you anywhere, except downhill.
In terms of handling tough spots (and trust me, there has been plenty), I have learnt to be respectful of what he needs at those times. That's possibly another thing that sounds a bit daft, but I know that at times, I would find myself going about what I needed to, whilst thinking I was being respectful, when in reality, I was actually quietly seething and harbouring resentment about what I was doing to be 'respectful'. I think another thing, is that I also need to remember that it's more beneficial to me, if I give him the space he needs. If I try to be pushy or try and talk to him at times when he really needs to lie down or have quiet time reading a book, the chances are that an argument will ensue, which would otherwise have not taken place, and I'll end up feeling even crappier! To sum it up, if I respect his boundaries, and he also accepts mine, then things are a lot more harmonious, and he tends to overcome whatever hurdle has presented itself, and will often then initiate talking to me about it. It's a much more positive outcome.
