How Did You Tell Your Therapist About Your Trauma?

[wolfie205]

I have been seeing my therapist for a few months now. She's a CBT therapist so we were working on coping skills and trying to get me stable. I'm a lot more stable now and I am coping really well with everything. I still haven't told her anything about my trauma and she hasn't asked me about it.

I don't know if it's because I am more stable now that she's been asking me more and more questions and I feel like she wants me to share it with her. Last session, she asked me if I ever witnessed a suicide and I just said no. How did you tell your therapist about your trauma? Did your therapist ask you about it or did you just tell him or her? What if you can't talk about it?

an people recover from PTSD without talking about their trauma or telling their therapist about it? Even if I do tell her about it, how many sessions would it take to process the trauma?

 

[Leah123]

How did you tell your therapist about your trauma?

Hi. Glad you're doing better! I told my therapist very gradually. First, I mentioned I'd dealt with dissociation in the past, i.e. told her symptoms, before causes. Then, I told her, in very general terms, in essay form, about my family. Next, I told her how the trauma had shaped me, and that led into a revelation of a couple key details. I will tell you- I was horrified I had told her anything, it was very hard to have that admission out of my mouth and not be able to take it back. I'd talked about trauma before, but it had been a long time back and mostly in a support group setting, very different than on the individual level. Now, I'm able to tell her explicitly, in detail about the trauma. It hurts, but is empowering and healing to do it I find. I've always believed it is the things we "can't" share that have power over us and hurt us the most.

Did your therapist ask you about it or did you just tell him or her?

My therapist doesn't believe in pushing on deep topics like this, but on letting clients take the lead, so once I broached the topic, then she asked me a few questions, but she won't really bring it up if I do not in general.


What if you can't talk about it?

Then you can write about it, or find a song that speaks to you about it and maybe share those to start if you like, or express it in art, perhaps a collage, or however you feel most comfortable to start. PTSD definitely interferes with the verbal expression of trauma studies have shown, so finding the words is a literal obstacle, as the memories are encoded in a way that make it difficult to share in a typical narrative format.

Can people recover from PTSD without talking about their trauma or telling their therapist about it?

Honestly, I don't think so. I believe we can certainly make improvements in our lives without discussing it, as you have with CBT. Also, my own life improved drastically as I created a stable routine, made a safe, productive life for myself far away from the trauma. However, when stressors came up in my life, the PTSD flared right back up. Can you recover from a broken leg without setting it right? You may be able to walk again, but if the break is not properly set, I wouldn't call that recovery. Perhaps others will have a different perspective though.

Even if I do tell her about it, how many sessions would it take to process the trauma?

I would hesitate to guess. We're all unique and these things unfold at their own pace.

Take care.

 

[arfie]

I tell my story as I go.

I have had more than one therapist and the ones I clicked the best with thought therapy was more about dealing with symptoms I have today than historical review. I need to be able to review the history well enough to connect the symptoms with causes, but more solid grounding in the here and now is the goal.

As I understand it within my personal healing journey.

 

[Lucycat]

I don't believe I could have resolved my trauma in one session!

When I first met my T, I told him that I had suffered sexual abuse from my father, as a child. I did not go into detail at that time.

He decided that EMDR would be an appropriate therapy, and we proceeded with the stabilisation and safety preparation before getting down to the hard work.

With the EMDR I was able to tell T some very basic information, but I have never had to - or needed to- verbalise the details. Thinking about them, along with emotions, thoughts and feelings is what was required. T was clear that verbalising it was unnecessary, particularly as I did not have the words to describe it - since it was childhood memories. It needed many sessions as there was a bucket load of trauma to deal with. However after each one I felt improvement. Some traumatic memories were 'grouped together' so it did not require a session for every single traumatic event/memory.

There is not a set time for recovery as we are all different.

Promises of a quick fix are not helpful and I simply don't believe them.

 

[Rumors]

Andy,
I mean no disrespect, however please don't blow smoke up the authors butt about being able to resolve lifelong issues in a single session. You don't know this person nor what their trauma is therefore you are verging on a line where you are giving "expert" advice without any direct knowledge of the issue. Are you here to sell your therapy program? I am certainly glad you were able to reconcile your issues in a session, however many people here have not been so lucky and what works for one may not work for others.

Wolfe, great questions. I believe you are capable of doing the hard work necessary to resolve unfinished issues. If you can get it done in one session, great! However, I think you will find that it takes people different amounts of time to heal. Once you make that decision to dig in and lay it all out there, perhaps you will find some relief. Hang in there! Your questions elude that you are prepared to make the necessary choices to heal. Sending you strength!

 

[Lucycat]

Looks like 'Andy' has been kicked into touch. Good. His posts were not helpful.

They will have detracted from the original discussion. @Wolfie, I hope you have now been enabled to make a more sensible decision from the responses you have received.

 

[Hashi]

Can people recover from PTSD without talking about their trauma or telling their therapist about it?

The bad news is - I think that's wishful thinking. The good news is that I don't believe you have to talk about every single detail. The next bad news is that I think you have to talk about some of it. But, to end on good news - talking about it/processing it can really help.

There's an older thread that might be of interest:
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/what-does-processing-trauma-really-mean.27858/

I started off by saying it in one sentence at the very top level - X [single, general word] happened to me. In fact, Y and Z had also happened to me, but it took me longer to be able to say that. We gradually started to talk about X, and I gradually started to work up to talking about Y and Z.

I think everyone's different and their therapists are different. The one fundamental thing that I think is always OK, and always helpful, is to talk generally about something that's hard to talk about specifically. Even to say "There's something I want to say but I don't know how", or "I'm thinking that at some point we might need to talk about my trauma but I have no idea how to do that" opens the way to talking with your therapist about how to approach it. The more it's a discussion between the two of you, the better.

I don't know how many sessions I've had with my therapist talking about the fact that I find it hard to talk about something. Obviously, if 100% of my sessions were like that it would be a problem. But to have some sessions like that is the only way I've been able to talk about trauma at all. The discussions themselves have helped to reassure me, to let my therapist know what my biggest concerns are, and to give me enough feeling of trust and safety to actually talk about trauma.

 

[Rumors]

Hashi, I really love how you can put this into perspective. I struggle with the same issues, Wolfie. Keep posting! This is a learning experience for me as well!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think it's a rareity to truly heal without processing your trauma. Anyone?

I think it would be akin to burying your trauma. How can you truly work through your issues when you're effectively going around them ?

 

[Lucycat]

I think it's a rareity to truly heal without processing your trauma.

Processing, in my opinion, does not have to mean verbalising.

 

[Hashi]

does not have to mean verbalising

@Lucycat - Do you think that applies in this case, when wolfie205's therapist is a CBT therapist?

 

[Lucycat]

@Lucycat - Do you think that applies in this case, when wolfie205's therapist is a CBT therapist?

I guess the only way is to ask the CBT therapist. My understanding is that EMDR and other therapies are based on CBT, so I would think that it should be possible with 'pure' CBT. The negative thoughts, feelings and emotions can be discussed but I don't see how this needs the intimate details of the trauma to be described. Maybe I am wrong?