Bad Therapy Session And Bad Last Few Days

[Rumors]

I wouldn't want her to respond in an email! I would think that it isn't therapeutic given you ran out on the last appointment. You should go and just know that I can only imagine that she is completely professional and wants nothing but the best for you. I imagine that she was left thinking she may not be doing a great job given that you ran out. Perhaps she is concerned that she isn't being as effective as someone else might be? Who knows? However, you won't know either unless you go and hash it out. You have got this! I would want to speak to her face to face, but that is just me!
Good luck! You are strong!

 

[mytai]

I would want to speak to her face to face

I'm very quiet during sessions with her, I don't like confrontation and avoid it at all costs if I can. So sitting and talking face to face about a topic like this is very nerve wracking for me.

 

[digger]

You don't have to read what you write. Write it down and hand it to her and ask her to read it to herself if you don't want to hear it.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I wrote my T a note and handed it to him once. That way I didn't have to read it. You know, I'm realizing how far I've come in my relationship with my T. I didn't realize how much easier it is to talk to him.

 

[Rumors]

Me too, mytai. I avoid confrontation at all costs, however I don't see this as being confrontational. I think you go in, tell her exactly why you left, tell her you are afraid she will leave, and then let her know you are scared to death of where to go from here.

A some point in time, for your therapy to really work, you are just going to have to lay more on the line. I am not suggesting all of it at this point, however Wednesday you need to lay it out there. My feeling is that she won't disappoint you given what you have said about her. She may tell you she is not equipped or educated in the therapy you might need, but I doubt she will just say "can't help you."

You have got this! Hang in there!

 

[April0000]

Gosh, that's a lot of drama you allow in your life and create by your reactions. I've come to a point where I don't let myself care too much anymore about situations and I don't engage in anyone's drama or them trying to cause me drama. I meditate twice a day and my goal in PTSD treatment is to remain calm . The stronger I become from this place of calm the easier it will be for me to work through my traumas (child abuse).

My counselor has been working with me for over a year to have and maintain firm boundaries in my life so I don't let other peoples crap in my life or incite me in any way. In order to heal from PTSD I need to create a safe place in my life and home. Work on having healthy boundaries for yourself and taking extreme good care of yourself. The rest will work itself out. No more drama girl. You deserve a peaceful life.

 

[mytai]

@digger1 @monster1977 I will do exactly that. Didn't even cross my mind to just hand it to her to read.

@Rumors I'm going to give it my best shot to "lay it out there".

@April0000 How do you think I allow a lot of drama in my life? By being born into a family with someone who thinks it is ok to sexually abuse and beat me? Or by trying to stop him from distributing pictures of me when he last raped me? Is that what you mean by allowing drama into my life? I physically moved myself over an hour away to create distance between this abusive family member and myself. There is only so much one can do to create a boundary.

 

[therapybankrupt]

@April0000 I think everyone is in different places at different times and I am happy for you in your success with PTSD treatment. I do however think it is important not to unintentionally judge others journey. I always try to read it back to myself to see how I would feel if I was reading it. We can be sensitive because of our traumas and easily triggered here depending on the severity and the times we have been traumatized. We all walk in our own shoes and no one else can know what and why our lives are as they are. I am hoping you will offer more of your great experiences with healing in the future. I will look forward to learning from you.

@mytai You did the best with what you had at the time and you never, never have to defend your life. I have found I only take what is helpful and fair to me on the forum and leave that I do not like or believe. I also keep an open mind because sometimes what angers me shoves me forward. Its like it was sent there to knock me out of my mud. Hold your head high you are on your way to healing.

tb

 

[Rumors]

Mytai, you can do this! Lay it out there! I can keep telling you that everyday if need be! You are strong and courageous! You have got this!!!

 

[mytai]

Much appreciated @Rumors sometimes I need to be reminded. I think I will start writing that letter tonight so I can bring up the things I need to with my T.

 

[Rumors]

I am really proud of you!

 

[mytai]

@Rumors You have no idea how long it has been since I've heard that from a human being. You made me cry, good tears though. Thank you for being so kind.