Other How many of us have agoraphobia?

[AmazonBelle]

Without being personal, was your issue car related? Just wondering since your reaction to driving is so strong. You did however, hit a nerve with me about my driving. I seem to be declining a little myself. Mine is probably just age, but since we are all easily distracted that could also be a possiblitity.

When I first read this reply, I thought... "well, no, I don't think my trauma's were car related...." then I had a flash of my damn father punching me on the side of the head so hard that my head slammed into the window. I lost 40 percent of the hearing in my left ear that day.

I can drive more comfortably than I can ride as a passenger. It's hard for me to let go of the control... my family teases me about sounding like an old woman in a 'holy roller' church... because when I get really scared in traffic I've been known to say "OH Jesus.......ohhhhhhh Jesuuuuusssssssssss"

I know it's not really funny, but it is, kind of.

 

[baileysemt]

Later read toddler was briefly resuscitated. If I had stuck around I may have been able to relieve person I saw doing CPR and saved the lil one on the trunk of a car. All three babies died. I fight not to feel as at fault as the drunk was. We did get 911 call out.

veiled, I don't know if I can help you with this, but these are my thoughts. Just my 2¢ worth, so round-file 'em if you want. :smile:


If there is one code (cardiac arrest) you won't get back (resuscitate), it's a trauma code.

The only reason they got the little one back for a brief time is because he was young, and a couple parts were still functional. But there weren't enough working parts "connecting the dots" well enough for him to make it long-term.

That is to say, he resuscitated briefly because it was a young heart pumping away because that's what a 2 or 3 year old heart is programmed to do. (Remember in H.S. Biology, how we dissected the frog and made the heart beat on a dead frog by putting epinephrine on it? Sorry to sound gory but, exact same deal. It's not a sign of life, it's a brief and unsustainable physiologic reaction.) But it is nowhere near enough to survive. Other essential things were undoubtedly irreparably broken: lungs, aorta, brain stem, long bones, spleen, massive internal bleeding, etc. -- God only knows.

With little ones, a brief resuscitation is NOT an indication of survivability. You could have done perfect CPR for 12 hours and it wouldn't have made a lick's difference. CPR is extremely unsuccessful -- 10% survival rate, and that's on people who haven't been smashed up!! :dontknow: CPR sucks. It's all we've got, but it's no cure-all.

If that little guy didn't make it, I can guarantee you there is nothing you could have done to help him. I promise you this. Promise. This is one of the hardest things for us in EMS to deal with. Between the physiology of pediatrics, and the fact that 99.999 times out of 100 "you won't get a trauma code back," -- you carry NO fault whatsoever.

You called 911, and I have no doubt that is what was most essential for you to do that night. That was doing God's work. Everybody had a role; someone else was doing CPR. Your job was 911. And maybe your job was witnessing the wreck and being deeply affected by it, so you could go on to tell the story and influence others not to drink and drive ......... ?


Bailey

 

[Marlene]

I can drive more comfortably than I can ride as a passenger. It's hard for me to let go of the control... my family teases me about sounding like an old woman in a 'holy roller' church... because when I get really scared in traffic I've been known to say "OH Jesus.......ohhhhhhh Jesuuuuusssssssssss"

Oh yeah...I do this, too. I've also been known to stomp on the passenger side brake pedal. Just because no one else can see it doesn't mean it's not there! When it gets too rough for me to be a passenger, I close my eyes and put my face into my hands. It's much easier for everyone that way. My family laughs at me about it, but they're the ones (the girls) reaching up from the back seat to pat my shoulders or arms and my hubby is the one telling me that 'It's over so you can look now'. It is a control thing. When we drive, we are in control of the car. When we're a passenger, we're at the mercy of someone else's driving.

I know it's not really funny, but it is, kind of.

It is. It's ok to laugh at yourself and the things you have to do to get through the day that are a little funny. I find laughing at myself helps me to deal with the changes in my life better. Plus I'm pretty goofy at times and I need a good laugh.

Lisa

 

[Grama-Herc]

Well, I see that all of us are just a nuts in the car as we are out of the car. A little scarey to think we are all on the road LOL!

I know my neighbors must wonder what in the hell I'm all about. Sometimes my car won't move for a week or longer. Then it will never be there, seems like. I plan the necessary shopping trips, etc around mothers doc visits, lab work, etc. so I can enjoy not stressing for extended period of time.

The best feeling for me is to wake up and know that I DO NOT have to leave the house for an entire week!

Unfortunately, this coming week does not fall into that catagory! Mother has several appointments over several days so I should be sufficently grumpy by the end of the week. Hope the truck tires aren't stuck to the ground. Been a week since the truck has even moved

Can I just skip next week and pretend I forgot there were any appointments. I don't want to go! The "1" that really sends me over the edge is going to the beauty salon.
All those fake, gossipy and snooty women! AUGH ! ! ! ! !

 

[sally]

hi it's sally
I understand not wanting to go out/ I don't leave the house with-out someone at my side. I didn't know it had a name. ans you should see me when I see someone wearing a hoodie I panic can't move because my feet won't run and my brain won't let me hear the person I'm with. so your not alone the fear is very real.
sally

 

[batgirl]

I'm late coming into this thread but I wanted to say I really relate to what's been said here. I have definitely suffered from this symptom. As Mum (Kathy) mentioned, my agoraphobia used to be so bad that when I lived alone I only left the house about once a month. I could not hold down a job nor go to school because I was so frightened to leave the house. I always imagine someone trying to shoot me when I am outside. If I see people on the street, I look at them and wonder if they're concealing a weapon. I worry when someone drives by with their car window down. Even if there's no one around, I imagine someone might be hiding behind a tree or a building with a weapon. It's pretty frightening and makes going out difficult.

Since moving in with my family and living on the farm rather than in a city, I'm getting much better. I'm able to go out both alone and with my family, but I'm still anxious, I still prefer staying in the house. I think it's something I have to constantly fight, or else I will regress. It's been a lot of hard work. I practice self-talk regarding the gun issue, try to tell myself the likelihood of someone pulling a gun on me is slim, especially in rural Newfoundland. As I say I am getting better but it is a constant struggle. I really relate to the whole car thing too, since I got my license last year and got my own car, I find I go out a lot more. I feel so safe in my car. I feel less safe when someone else drives. I prefer to be the driver rather than the passenger. I really need be in control.

Anyways thanks Herc for starting this thread, it seems a lot of us suffer from this symptom and it's good to talk about it.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Bailey, that helped more than you know.

 

[Deleted member 93]

I think it's something I have to constantly fight, or else I will regress.

Evie, that is a very important point. If you stop practicing or become comfortable and let time lapse doing it you can quickly become sucked back in. I know that one the hard way over a few times.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Veiled

In response to what Evie said about constantly fighting the agoraphobia. I have to fight the desire to just "give in" and stay home every day.

I took mom to the lab today for tests which usually takes us 1 hour from home and back. Well, today we sat at the lab for 1 entire hour. By the time we got back home I was a wreck. Ate a small lunch and slept the rest of the day untill 8 this evening. I was exhausted from the exposure to the crowd at the lab.

I simply can not seem to get myself past this feeling of fear. I am so safe and feel so relaxed when at home. No panic or anxiety. I could go to sleep right now and sleep till tomorrow night. The outing today has worn me out beyond belief. Glad it is over.

 

[Marlene]

Keeping the agoraphobia in check (along with keeping a whole bunch of other PTSD-related issues in check) has become an almost daily thing for me. If I miss a regularly scheduled activity for whatever reason, the next time it's doubly difficult for me to do that activity. It's like that fear creeps back in and the desire to stay in my house goes up. I've had my husband damn near push me out of the front door to get me going once again.

Lisa

 

[Grama-Herc]

I know what you mean. If not for the need to drive mother to various appointments, I would never leave the house.

I orinally proposed our moving in together as a way to help and keep mother safe. I am beginning to think that I really did it for my benefit. I am forced to leave the house for her sake. Guess it does not matter why I go out, just that I do.

The time has come for me to go for food AGAIN. Think that I am going to do it later. I use to shop late-I mean LATE-in the evening. Mother has a fit if I go to shop at night. She feels it is not safe, so rather than worry her I go during the day. Man is this hard!

I am grateful for her presence in my life because she is helping keep my head on straight and makes it necessary that I go out.

Can you imagine what I would be like if left to my own devices?

 

[Marlene]

Can you imagine what I would be like if left to my own devices?

I've asked myself this same question many times. With my family I can get away with nothing. They don't let me use any excuses or put up with any bullshit...they know when to push and went to let alone. It's funny-they've just figured it out. My husband has gotten really good with that. Extra pushes when I can't or won't push myself have been such a big help to me.

I know, left on my own, that I'd be in sorry shape.

Lisa