I have met people diagnosed with bpd and they fully recovered making that diagnosis bogus. Aspergers individuals never recover and they are actually much more frustrating to deal with than traums survivors- they do not have thick skin they have an inability to empathize. Many people believe jeffrey dahmer was an aspergers sufferer. I knew someone with aspergers who burned a cat"accidentally" on his stove top and put it in a garbage bag to dispose of it. Ihe then bought another cat to "keep him company and it died too. He worked but everyone knew there was something seriously wrong with him except for him-most people thought he was developmentally disabled due to his lack of hygeine and non concern for his offputting self. I asked him not to get any more animals because of his incompetence but due to his overestimation of himself he failed to comprehend it. I tried to explain decency to him such as respect for a creature who gave him comfort and the need for burial or cremation which was lost on him. I ended contact because I really cannot see the difference between a psychopath and him
Junglegirl I am unsure what you mean by you have met people diagnosed with bpd and they fully recovered making that diagnosis bogus. If I'm interpreting it correctly, you are actually agreeing with me. What I have said is that most people diagnosed with BPD have been diagnosed incorrectly and THEIR diagnosis of BPD *IS* bogus. If someone "recovers" from BPD, then they never truly had it in the first place. It is the very proof that they were misdiagnosed.
BPD itself is very real though. And sadly some individuals do suffer from it. They can learn to manage it better and learn to live with it, but it never fully goes away.
But as for your view of aspergers, I'm sorry but that is incredibly bigotted and incorrect. The latest research has shown that people with aspergers are actually usually hyperempathetic. It is actually a myth that they lack empathy and the incorrect stereotype that they lack empathy has done so much damage to those with aspergers. Saying a person with aspergers lacks empathy is cruel and untrue.
People with aspergers never "recover" because it's not something you need to recover from! Saying a person with aspergers never recovers is like saying someone with blue eyes never recovers from having blue eyes. Aspergers is merely a different way of thinking. It has its positives and negatives. It's like saying apple computers are inferior to PCs simply because they are much less common and have a different way of operating. Which is garbage. The asperger mind compared to the neurotypical mind is what apple computers are to PCs. Each has their strengths and weaknesses. The kind of bigotry you're displaying is no different from racism and saying a person with black skin needs to "recover" from their skin colour. It's also no different to saying people with a mental illness are inferior to those without one.
Your friend is an idiot not a psychopath. Yes there are lot of ignorant people who cannot see the difference between psychopaths and aspies, but that is due to total ignorance. Anyone who mixes up the two either does not understand aspergers or doesn't under psychopathy or both. Psychopaths are aware of what they do and do not care. Aspies are NOT aware of the negative things they do, but when it is explained to them, they care greatly. Psychopaths have no trouble with theory of mind, aspies do.
Aspies are no more frustrating to deal with than the average person.
You have single handedly managed to insulted two out of the three people I love most. My (second) husband is an aspie, as is my older daughter. And I'm quite sure my younger daughter probably will be with the genes she has. My husband and daughter are the most empathetic, caring people. Yes they sometimes struggle to read other people's emotions, but if you are blunt with them about what emotion you are feeling, they care incredibly. My husband is one of the most gentle caring people I have met in my life.
Also my brother is probably THE most gentle caring men I have ever come across. And while my sister has issues, they are to do with her bipolar not her aspergers, and when she is not totally completely overwhelmed and melting down or shutting down, she too is incredibly empathetic - in fact half the reason she has meltdowns and shutdowns is because she cares so much about what other people think and feel.
Yes aspies tend to come off as arrogant. But that's not because they are trying to be. They are simply sure of themselves and studies have shown they actually tend to have a more accurate view of things than neurotypical people. Neurotypical people tend to be overly optimistic and see the best, where as aspies tend to be realists and very blunt about it. Aspies tend to be very blunt about both their positive and negative characteristics which can come off as either arrogance or self loathing if interpreted incorrectly.
Why does a cat need a burial or cremation? I would agree it would for safety/hygiene reasons. Throwing a decaying animal in the garbage is a health hazard. But out of respect? It's an animal. It's not a human. Not everyone feels that even a deeply loved pet needs cremation or burial for reasons of respect. Maybe it would have been better to explain to your friend in a way he understands - that burying or cremating his cat would have been better for health reasons. Even burying/cremating humans is only a cultural thing and not all cultures would agree with you that burying/cremating is respectful. For example, I personally thing cremating is actually disrespectful and people have a right to be buried. But I accept that is a cultural thing not shared by others who are ok with cremating. Perhaps your friend simply doesn't agree with your cultural view that burial or cremation is necessary for respect of the dead. That's the thing with people with aspergers... they don't always follow cultural trends and what your criticizing your friend for is a cultural belief that you have that he simply doesn't share.
I don't know your friend, but what I do see is your lack of empathy for his different way of thinking. You have judged him for thinking differently about things than you.
I have no idea who jeffrey dahmer is, but I'm guessing he's some sort of monster. Who cares if he has aspergers though? If he is a monster, it's not because of his aspergers any more than it has to do with his gender, skin colour, eye colour or any other biological traint about him. Aspies come in all types. There are bad aspies and good aspies just like there are bad people with PTSD and good ones with PTSD. Being an aspie is not at all related to a person's character.
Personally I think in many way "neurotypicals" (people who don't have aspergers) are far more frustrating to deal with. All the inane small talk, all the little "white" lies that are commonly used... give me an aspie any day! They might be blunt but at least they are totally honest. They won't lie to you, they won't say one thing and do another, they don't do things behind your back, they won't gossip about you, they will be direct and forthcoming and they won't waste your time.
Congratulation on the most offensive thing I've read this week.
People with aspergers don't need to "recover" because they are perfectly fine the way they are. All they need help with is learning to live in a world where they are the minority and people do not appreciate total honesty, and help adjusting to cultural/social expectations that they see as unimportant (eg the lack of hygiene you mention). Again, keep in mind, daily showering is only a recent invention. A few hundred years ago only the rich bathed daily. Most of the population bathed weekly or even monthly. IF you went back in time, your standards of hygiene would be considered unusual and your friend's would be considered completely normal.
Yes your friend needs help - he needs to understand that how he treats his live cats is not acceptable, and how he treats his dead cats is a health hazard, he needs to understand his hygiene is not socially acceptable in modern society, and he needs to learn that the way he presents himself is considered off putting by neurotypicals, but those around him need to learn that with the exception of how he treats live cats, all the rest of his behaviour is logical in his position and that he is not a psychopath, he simply sees things differently - if people approached him logically about the issues, explained to him bluntly his behaviour is offputting, not generally socially acceptable and a health hazard, put it to him in a way he sees is logical, more than likely he would change.
I know aspies aren't perfect - when dealing with social skills, my husband has driven me up the wall to the point where we've seen a counsellor over it, but we have worked it out. He knows he will never understand a lot of the social niceties that most neurotypicals insist on, but he accepts that it does offend most neurotypicals and if I ask him to act in a culturally appropriate way around my neurotypical friends, even if he sees it as illogical and silly, he will do it out of love for me and respect for them. And honestly? I think half the social niceties people expect are illogical and silly too, but it's what makes people happy so we all do them.
So yeah.... the only sweeping generalisations I can see are yours about aspergers. And what's worse is they are totally inaccurate and offensive to everyone with aspergers or anyone who loves a person with aspergers. Sorry if that's blunt, but I am sick of people who insult aspies. I want my daughter to grow up in a world where she doesn't suffer stigma and bigotry for being an aspie.
