Sexual Assault Still Unable To Open Up After Years Of Childhood Sexual Abuse

[SarahB]

Has anyone else had problems with being able to open up about the things that happened to them at a young age? I've been out of the abusive situation for going on 10 years now, and am still unable to cope or open up about many of the things that happened. I was diagnosed with PTSD at the age of 17 and have seen various counselors and doctors since. I'm still hanging in there, but have been told numerous times that talking through the details will benefit me greatly. Has anyone experienced more peace after opening up?

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Hello Sarah -

I think every traumatic experience has its own lift span and only you will know when the time is right to be able to open up and talk about it.

Part of my trauma deals with the fact that my father was an alcoholic. My friend basically dared me to go to my first Adult Child of Alcoholics meeting and I was really scared. But after a few times going, I realized that these people had the same issues I had - that I was not alone or crazy or wrong or weird for thinking, feeling and doing the things I had done. That gave me the courage to open up and share. And what I noticed was that not only did it help me feel better, but that others were able to comment on the things I said and some of the things I said were able to benefit others and that encouraged me to open up even further.

So yes, expressing my feelings about my trauma benefited me and as it turns out others as well.

So, I hope in your own time, you will be able to share what you have gone through for the benefit of yourself and others.

Namaste - Laurie

 

[franciemarnie]

Trust your gut. If you are not ready to talk about it, please don't. There may come a time when you would like to go into detail. You will know.

Sometime trauma is about force and forcing. Don't do it to yourself.

I talked for 25 years and it did little good. Somatic therapy does not require going into details and it has been tremendously healing for me. I also talk about trauma in metaphor and that works for me too.

You have options now. Not like the old days when talk therapy was about the only choice we had.

 

[desiderata310]

I have found that I still can't verbalize but I can write. It seems that this is the only way I can really deal with any of it right now. I can't talk about anything in therapy but man, get me OUT of my session and all I can think about is writing out what the hell was going through my head at that time.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Talking can give you some peace if what you need is a voice. But, talking in and of itself isn't necessarily healing as talking does not equate to processing, and processing is where the key to healing lies.

A lot of therapists think that "processing" is just being able to talk about your trauma ad nauseam so that you numb out to its harmful effects. This isn't really the case. PTSD is pretty much our minds being stuck in the past. Just talking about your trauma does almost nothing to get your mind un-stuck from living in the past. My processing emphasized the continuity of the trauma (before/during/after) which enabled my mind to move through it all in sequence, hence getting me un-stuck. I have tried processing in a number of different ways, but only one type emphasized continuity. Most just focus on rehashing the trauma itself which is actually reinforcing the traumatic memory in your mind (via reinforcing negative neural pathways....part of neuroplasticity if you're wondering about this concept).

So long/short, just talking about your trauma isn't likely to heal you, and talking about it too much can actually be detrimental to healing.

 

[RussH]

I personally find that talking about it helps me; if nothing else it helps me to remember things I need to remember, and put things into proper perspective.
When, and who you talk to does is up to you. It may not be your therapist. It may be someone who has gone through the same things that you have been through. Is there a support group in your area?
Otherwise, start a trauma diary here on the forum and start writing about it. It will help you open up about the trauma, and at the same time maintain some of annominity.

 

[Almost There]

I have found that I still can't verbalize but I can write. It seems that this is the only way I can really deal with any of it right now. I can't talk about anything in therapy but man, get me OUT of my session and all I can think about is writing out what the hell was going through my head at that time.

I have had a great deal of difficulty talking about what happened to me. My psychologist suggested months ago that I record what happened and listen to it at least 4 times per week. It is part of the prolonged exposure therapy that he uses to help people. Another method he suggested was cognitive processing therapy which is somewhat similar and involves writing out the traumatic event.

I still experience a lot of stress and prefer to avoid the details of the most traumatic event but I am slowly and I mean slowly getting there. Luckily, my psychologist is incredibly patient and hasn't given up on me. He promises me that the benefits of going through all of this will make a huge difference in my life. I do my best to believe him and to push myself to do what he suggests. I know I would benefit from listening to the latest recording more frequently, but like you, I am a busy mom (of one) who works full-time and goes to school part-time.

 

[Bubblegirl]

I find that what I need to deal with next presents itself, and if I force it, it causes more trauma. Even then I don't usually need to talk about it, except in rare instances, and then it is in 3rd person, I can deal with that. I did not start dealing with my abuse, which ended when I was 13, until I was 40. I am very glad for you that you are dealing with this while you are young. Hopefully it will lead to you being able to have a full and wonderful life with healthy relationships.