Full On Panic Mode!

[TXbandit]

I'm freakin out. My whole body wants to shake so much that all my muscles are twitching. My therapist cancelled on me today because she is sick. She's also going to be off for the next two weeks because she is getting married. I need therapy desperately right now. I have to go to trial against my ex on the 20th. I am panicking because I don't think I can go through with it. Hearing the 911 tapes, telling complete strangers what happened, seeing the pictures, seeing him. I feel like I am going to lose it. I am trying the breathing exercises and writing in my journal but it is not helping. It just all sunk in when I got the call that she was sick this morning. It is too late to back out as I have already been sworn in. If I don't go I will be arrested. I feel trapped into something I can not handle right now. I just want it to all end.

 

[Little Flower]

I'm here TX. U have a lot going on at once I hear the panic. I hope u R deep breathing and and keeping your head about you. You are very aware you're feeling betrayed again. It hurts like hell. Repeating the facts of your assault must be gut wrenching esp in front of a lot of people who shouldn't have to tell anything. I don't know if there is any way of getting around that except maybe closed circuit tv. Just remember your not on trial. U have a cance to make him face what he's done and now the power has shifted to you. I hope you find it in you to stand up. Speak out. Let everyone know your not going to stand for it!!!!
Power to you
Peace

 

[Justmehere]

Please call the DA prosecuting the case and especially the victim advocate with the DA's office. They can (or they are supposed to) help with just this kind of thing.

I had to testify against two people. It was daunting to face. However, when it actually happened, it was not nearly as bad as I feared. The DA had a great interest in making sure their witness has the support they need to be able to handle all of this very effectively. Some DA offices stink at this, but some are very good at helping pull in some theraputic or other support to help with this very understandably stressful process.

It is worth it to go through this process - and I believe you will do well when the day comes.

Might also be good to call your T and ask if she has a back up that you can talk to and meet with.

 

[Justmehere]

p.s. try to remember as much as you can, that you are relatively safe now. :hug: This will get better!

(I know, so easy to say, so hard to believe.)

 

[TXbandit]

Thank you @Little Flower for your support. I am breathing. My Xanax has kicked in so I am more relaxed now. Thank goodness. I was about to full blown panic attack. @Justmehere Thank you. I called right after I read your response and talked with the prosecutor and she went through the whole process with me. I will have a victims advocate with me at all times. I also told her that I had seen him Monday and it was a violation for him to be near me. Hopefully they will do something. He has a stay away order. I feel better after talking with her for about 20 minutes and hearing you ladies kind words for me. I really appreciate it so much.

 

[risingsun]

You can do this. Know that an internal calm exists within you. The enemy preys off of our fear. It needs it. Show no fear. You can do this. Deep breathing and know your truth. Speak your truth without tremble. The truth will always set you free. My prayers are with you. Rising Sun.

 

[Justmehere]

Excellent job TXbandit! I hope today goes easier and easier. :hug:

 

[mrsps]

Are you able to contact your T and see if she can fit in another appointment with her before she takes her 2 weeks off? Take care xx

 

[TXbandit]

I don't think so but I am going to call to see if I can see someone else while she is away. Thank you all for replying and your support. Means the world to me


P.S You ladies are the best :) I already feel stronger with reading your replies. Feeling blessed and more at ease. Thank you

 

[littlelostchild]

TX you are a strong, brave woman! You got this and we are with you all the way.

:hug:

 

[mrsps]

P.S You ladies are the best :) I already feel stronger with reading your replies. Feeling blessed and more at ease. Thank you

Glad you are feeling stronger :)
We are always here so anytime you need to talk, need advise etc just reach out. We all understand how hard it can be to cope at the best of times let alone when our T is on holiday!