Did Therapy Make You Feel Worse Before Better?

[qwyoey]

I'm in my first few months of therapy, and I have an amazing therapist. But honestly I feel worse now. I've heard a few times that it will get worse at first. Anyone have similar experiences?

 

[Kintsugi]

Yes. Every time. Here, too.

It's really kicking my ass right now.

 

[hodge]

Yes, it did feel worse at first, because I had to talk about my traumas. That never feels good, but it was good to do. I got better for awhile, now I'm back in therapy because of nightmares. It seems to me that I still have some work to do.

 

[Ronin]

Every time. Its when it starts just making me feel bad I drop the therapist, the type of therapy, or therapy altogether for a time.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think its a given for trauma therapy. Avoidance is a symptom, not avoiding i.e. talking about the trauma is painful and stirs up emotions. Know that you're not alone, and this is to be expected.

 

[seedling]

For me it comes in layers, or cycles. I start in on an aspect of it and it gets worse as it's opened up and examined. Then as some of the confusion clears it gets better and I feel like I see some light, figure out some things. Then comes another layer that I become aware of and work on figuring out/dealing with.

 

[Hope4Now]

Yes. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a masochist going back for more and more. But what @seedling said is true of me too. I've been at it for 18 months now. At the beginning, I thought I'd be "done" in 3 months max. I've only just begun, really. But then I have some pretty complex trauma stuff I'm dealing with and that takes a lot longer. Sigh.

There are all sorts of analogies to help you think about the worse stuff as part of the getting better stuff. I won't bore you with too many. But consider the need to clean and disinfect a wound before bandaging it. It is scary and painful and yucky. But if you don't do it, it will get infected and harm you in far worse ways than the original wound.

 

[desiderata310]

First round of therapy. Been in it for a year and a half. ONly now am I beginning to feel better. I went from Ok-ish... to falling apart... suicidal at points... finally beginning to have a peroid where I feel like I'm leveling out... I hope. My therapist hopes as well. It's been a damn year and a half of stablizing. I'd like to make some headway.

you're not alone.

 

[Weemie]

therapy never made me feel any good. it's all a pissing contest. who's smarter, who knows more, who's got the upper hand. follow the rules of engagement or you're out of bounds. instead of just human to human, reel-receive.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Yes, most definitely. Still makes me feel horrible as we delve deeper. Then, we back off a little, let things settle, and then dive back in. The key for me is to look back a week, month, or year ago and see the progress I am making. It's hard to remember to do, but it does help. Two years ago, I could no longer sleep or read or do anything but keep an active watch while riding in the car. Now, I can do crafts, read, and occasionally sleep. That's just one tiny examples, but it's huge to me because those were things I could do before. Do follow your instincts though and when things seem to be too overwhelming in therapy, back off a little and take time to notice the progress. You don't want to do too much and overwhelm yourself too much.

 

[Mallaky]

Well, that is discouraging news.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Mallaky, Why is that discouraging? While feeling worse isn't a surefire sign that therapy is working, I'd say the reverse is definitely true ..... If someone who has ptsd goes to therapy and therapy always makes them feel better, I doubt the therapy is fully effective because it's not getting into the trauma itself. (Or, the person never had ptsd to begin with). We avoid because that makes us feel better. Therapy is all about not avoiding so of course we are going to feel worse.