Feel Like Everyone Is Lying To Me

[kj9298]

Hello

I recently resigned from a very negative teaching experience. I have accepted a position at another school where I know more people I will be working with.
Throughout the school year I felt that the administration was creating situations intentionally to cause me stress to see how I would handle it and I handled them well. The situations seemed to get worse and more intense. I was not supported at all my adminstration and they would tell me they would help with specific items and then fall through at the last minute. I was insulted and embarrassed in front of my students, and even my religion was used against me. They started to use veiled comments like "nobody is saying youre crazy" when it had nothing to do with the conversation.
I dont know how to handle the feelings of failure of leaving a job that i had no intention of leaving. I taught 200 students who I loved and they loved me. I was voted teacher of the month and I am a first year teacher. My students are crushed. I am crushed. I dont understand why my admin would be so mean. They said some really awful things and in meetings would verbally change the story of how events happened. After they overloaded me with extra duties, I asked if these things were in my contract. My principal came into my office with the assistant principal and told me my contract said i would do what he told me to do.
I am a very nice person. I dont gossip. I dont play games. I just wanted to teach.
I just cant make sense of why they treated me this way and how do I get past it? It is really effecting my confidence.

 

[Lostinthesauce]

Hello

I recently resigned from a very negative teaching experience. I have accepted a position at anothe...

Wow, I really am sorry for the amont of unnecessary hurtful people and just crappy situations and feelings you have been deing with, as well as what seems like over a decent time period.

Another thing that's really sad about the situation is that the environment you were subject to this at was a place of education and higher learning. Meaning this should be a place that has an over abundance of maturity, intelligence, education and just straight up people who I would envision to be the opposite of a bully or mean non empathetic individuals. That just adds more to my individual point that overall I have a very negative point of people all together. It's a bad way of thinking, but I really do. It's a shame.
So it seems to me, even after my not so nice opinion of people, that you are genuinely a nice, thoughtful, caring person. I caught that feeling as I read your words. That's a wonderful thing and do not ever let a individual, group or anything take that very rare and beautiful gift that you have away from you.
Please keep those ways about you and never stop sharing them with the more unfortunate beings that scrape along everyday that make you feel like your wrong for being the way you are. Don't let their disease infect you cause that's all they want to happen.

You already have enough to deal with on your own everyday with what lives in the way you feel and in your mind. You have PTSD. It's not the worst thing to struggle with compared to some other things out there. But I know without a doubt it's mother f***** and is a hell of a struggle. So with the battle of controlling and living with that issue and STILL being able to be genuine and thoughtful and care enough to want to spread knowledge to your students to give them what they need to hopefully be a better person in life. That's amazing!!!!

You ask how can you get past it? It's effecting your confident??

You don't have anything to get past!!!! Of course your going to feel the pain and grief of never being understood not listened to or taken serious by those other small minded weak individuals, who think they got it together and their "bleep" don't stink. You feel that way because you let them trick you into thinking your wrong. Your not they are!!!
LET THEM HAVE TO GET PAST YOU!!!

I'm sure growing a back and forth healthy relationship between you and your students is amazing and then having to give that up for reason that you shouldn't have to is a very hard situation for you to deal with. But Im pretty willing to bet once you realize what a good person you are and that your wasting your time letting others make you feel horrible about yourself that you will have no problem finding that new place with new students that will love you just as much as the last and that you will love back just as much. Children are being made everyday and even as we speak those children will eventually be students and need you there to share your gift to them.

Realizing that and being true to yourself and knowing you matter will give you all your confidence that you shouldn't have ever doubted.

These are just my thoughts and words and hopefully you will let them help you get back up and remember who you are and that you will never let anyone take who or what you are away from you again.

Good luck I wish you the best

Lastly, just remember some days will be better than others and some will be worse than others but your strong enough to get through all of them.

 

[kj9298]

Thank you so much! I know how badly I want to feel inside what you are saying because I know it's true. That's the way I used to think all of the time. I brushed off negativity so easily. Now not so easily. I will keep reading your post over and over and tell myself to believe it. Thank you again!

 

[kj9298]

This is what happened to me "If your boss really just doesn't want somebody working for them there are many things they can do to make you want to quit that are legal."