Follow Me Down The Rabbit Hole..

[InvisibleSun]

So I've been doing well over the past six weeks with therapy and my medications and I am to begin EMDR therapy soon. CBT and meds have helped quite a bit with nightmares, intrusive thoughts, depression, insomnia and anxiety. However, I am still struggling significantly with dissociation. I have been dissociating since about the age of three and it has been an issue ever since. It can either be triggered or seemingly appear out of the blue. I was curious if other people had random bouts of dissociation such as myself or if symptoms only arise in the presence of a trigger?

 

[Intrepid]

Triggers for me are not always obvious. I sometimes think they are random, but if I look closely enough I'll find one. Last week I got triggered and thing went south for a few days. I couldn't figure out what was going on until I read here about @shimmerz getting triggered by moving boxes. I realized what triggered me (among other things) was the huge textbook I have for an accounting class. It reminded me of the stick (notoriously called the board) my mom used on me as a kid. So, it wasn't totally random. It was just weird. Just like the textbook was heavy and full of meaning, so was that stupid stick my mom used.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I think I can always find a trigger if I look far enough … but the rabbit hole is sometimes deeper than I realized at first, and sometimes it's more of an emotional trigger, rather than something concrete.

 

[InvisibleSun]

I think I can always find a trigger if I look far enough … but the rabbit hole is sometimes deeper than I realized at first, and sometimes it's more of an emotional trigger, rather than something concrete.

This is exactly how I feel sometimes. I can understand my triggers for nightmares and flashbacks, but dissociation is something that has always been very tricky for me. Dissociation has always been such a natural reaction for me..even when there wasn't a perceived threat. Im glad to know I'm not the only one whose triggers aren't always so obvious..

 

[Chava]

My dissociation triggers are more frequent than flashback. For me, they seem to be around emotions I cannot handle, certain people, being too close, or feeling like I can't do something I'm supposed to do...feeling trapped or something. Oddly pain keeps me out of dissociation for the most part, but I sense the pain itself is dissociated and holding all my difficult feelings for me.

 

[Jobriel]

I dissociate a lot and usually don't know what the triggers are. But I have been dx'd with DID, so maybe it is different for me. Some triggers that I recognize are not negative.(e.g. Eating sweets like ice cream sometimes make me space out, but that is likely because a different part of me wants to enjoy the treat too.) Most of the time, I have no idea what the trigger is though. It can be very frustrating to dissociate at random times and not know why.

 

[InvisibleSun]

It can be very frustrating to dissociate at random times and not know why.

Omy gosh, yes! It's hard too sometimes because I'll be talking to someone or like hanging out..and the next thing you know, they're like "uh..hello?!
And then I have to make up some lame excuse..ya know, because that's a lot better than saying.."Oh I'm sorry, don't mind me...I'm only losing my mind..literally." My boyfriend gets slightly annoyed at times..it's embarrassing.

 

[oasis2003]

Yes I dissociate without realising why. Pain also makes me dissociate to get away from it. It seems to be related also to feelings, emotions and body sensations. I am dissociating a lot at the mo.